I told her I like her, and she didn't reply. Did I blow it?

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gallahad
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22 Nov 2013, 1:16 pm

I have been on four dates with someone awesome I met online. We have several common interests, and she is also an Aspie. She asked me on our first date if I wanted to be exclusive, and I said that I would be more comfortable starting out casual and seeing where it goes. We have been sleeping together, holding hands in public, and been open about what's going on in our lives, our past history etc. I told her towards the end of our last date that I like her. She didn't say anything back, and that makes me nervous. She smiled and grabbed me and we hugged and kissed for a minute, then she kissed me goodbye when I headed out to the bus stop. I'm confused because not saying anything seems like something someone would do if they weren't interested, but her actions seemed different. Any idea what this means?

Also, now that I've told her my feelings, would that be clear that I am ready to be exclusive, or do I need to start a new conversation for that? I wish now I thought to bring it up last time we were together. Ack >.<



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22 Nov 2013, 3:20 pm

I think you did the right thing by telling her. If you blew it. I'm not sure.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Nov 2013, 3:31 pm

If you love her then call her and tell her that you love her - and you want it exclusive.

"I like you" was not exactly what she wanted to hear and less than what she hoped for.



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22 Nov 2013, 4:13 pm

Maybe it was a big beal for you to say "I like you." But she must have thought something like "Yeah, I know that. If you didn't, what have we been doing all this time? But it is kind of cute that he said it out loud." Hence her reaction.
"I like you" is something that goes without saying between you two now.

You definitely have to have a conversation about going exclusive and make it clear to her that you're ready.



Geekonychus
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22 Nov 2013, 4:54 pm

Yuzu wrote:
You definitely have to have a conversation about going exclusive and make it clear to her that you're ready.

This.^^^



lost561
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22 Nov 2013, 9:48 pm

Yes you screwed the pooch by telling her you like her. Back off and let her mind get off the fact that you said that then try to talk to her at a later date.



Cafeaulait
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23 Nov 2013, 4:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If you love her then call her and tell her that you love her - and you want it exclusive.

"I like you" was not exactly what she wanted to hear and less than what she hoped for.


This.



yellowtamarin
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23 Nov 2013, 4:27 am

Yuzu wrote:
Maybe it was a big beal for you to say "I like you." But she must have thought something like "Yeah, I know that. If you didn't, what have we been doing all this time? But it is kind of cute that he said it out loud." Hence her reaction.
"I like you" is something that goes without saying between you two now.

You definitely have to have a conversation about going exclusive and make it clear to her that you're ready.

Yeah, I'd be thinking "well thank goodness you like me cos we've been, like, sleeping together and stuff!". I would have already assumed you liked me, if I was her...

And also yes, you still need to discuss the exclusiveness part. Because if she thought you already liked her, then she was thinking that you 'like each other but are not exclusive'. So you have to turn it into 'like each other and are exclusive'.



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23 Nov 2013, 9:35 pm

Interesting first post. Welcome. I see that you have just joined. Why not come on over to the new members section and introduce yourself?