Question about Aspergers and dating

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

choops
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1

26 Nov 2013, 8:42 am

Hello,

I recently started speaking with a woman who has Aspergers. She said that she has a mild case of it, and when we first met and talked for about 10 minutes I could not detect any behavior that differs from a NT. I plan on getting to know her and possibly start dating her if I enjoy her company.

Anyhow, on our very first phone call, no more than 10 minutes into the call she started asking very sexually explicit questions. I was taken back at how quickly the conversation turned overtly sexual. We had not even gone out on a date yet and she was asking very intimate questions. At first, I was thinking that this woman must be incredibly promiscuous, which had turned me off. Then I started wondering if the reason she behaved like that might be due to having Aspergers and not quite having the social tact that I am accustomed to when dealing with NT women.

Is her behavior typical of Aspergers or is she just a floozy?



TallyMan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 40,061

26 Nov 2013, 8:47 am

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to L&D)


_________________
I've left WP indefinitely.


JanuaryMan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,359

26 Nov 2013, 9:38 am

Typical of Asperger's. Establishing limits isn't always a strong point especially in an emotional capacity.
Not being face to face and communicating over the phone or the net, it's also easier to forget the simple question of "would you say this to them in person so soon?"

For what it's worth, I'm sure she's a lovely person and if anything curiosity got the better of her.



Pabbicus
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2013
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 92

26 Nov 2013, 9:07 pm

Someone who has a lot of experience in attempting to mask would go the other way and set so many boundaries she can't cross in her head that you might assume she had no interest. There's usually a range from that end to the one you found.



CharityFunDay
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2013
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 625

27 Nov 2013, 5:46 pm

She might be one of those aspies who treats every potential date like a job interview: "Oh, so I see from your CV that you have x sexual skill, could you tell me how you would apply that to me in bed?"

Some people are just odd. I prefer to discover a person as I go along, but some people have a 'shopping list' approach,

Let us know how you get on.



leafplant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2013
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,222

27 Nov 2013, 6:33 pm

CharityFunDay wrote:
"Oh, so I see from your CV that you have x sexual skill, could you tell me how you would apply that to me in bed?"
.


:lmao:

I so want to use that line on a date!


_________________
context is king


Marcia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,148

27 Nov 2013, 6:34 pm

leafplant wrote:
CharityFunDay wrote:
"Oh, so I see from your CV that you have x sexual skill, could you tell me how you would apply that to me in bed?"
.


:lmao:

I so want to use that line on a date!


:D



TreeShadow
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2013
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 136

27 Nov 2013, 7:32 pm

It sounds pretty typical, and I may have even behaved that way in a past relationship or two, now that I reflect back on it. I'm not promiscuous by any means, but I AM curious. I am also very straightforward and like to get to the point. These are typical Asperger's traits. Much of the "dating" that NTs like to do seems like such a long, drawn out, subtle process. I'd really prefer that we just find out right away if we are going to be compatible and not fuss around with this flirty, nuanced back and forth stuff. Maybe she feels the same way.