Mind games and ego trips

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I find that I keep being the victim of the same game and its really getting me down.They make out they're interested in me but they don't ask me out.They just lead me on then drop it on me that they've asked someone else out instead and i can tell they are getting a nasty kick out of rubbing my nose in it.At the moment there is a man who overtly flirts with me but doesnt ask me out.I sense he is trying to get me to fall into a trap and wants me to ask him out but i think if i did this he would turn me down as he has played this trick on two other people.I'm not falling for it and have decided to try to avoid him but these games to do with ego boosts at someones expense are making my life miserable.I havent got the courage to kill myself so i just have to wait to die.the only way i can get through my life is one hour at a time.There is another man who i mistakenly showed that i liked him and ive been punished for this.he would flirt with me but never asked me out and now he likes to brag about his new girlfriend and talk about how he has asked out other women with a sadistic grin on his face.he feeds off my misery.i dont know what to do.i can never meet anyone genuine as its just a minefield of ego trips.

It is not you... it's them... those people are getting thier rocks off on you... you're gullible, and you don't get the social cues that they are messing with your head. Sarcastic humor isn't funney,but NT's think it is. When an NT can make someone feel jealous, (wich doesn't work on me), or turn you into a nervous wrecking ball, because you like them, it makes them feel good about thier miserable shallow lives (self importance). You need to game the gamer. If you think they like you, just look at them all straight faced and say "you don't like me that much, and I think your a froliking liar". If they don't like you that much they will give you that crappy grin, and try to say something savvy, or get defensive, and be a douche. If they really do like you, you will probably see some true colors. I used to turn girls down like the way you are talking about it when I was young. I did it to all those hot little narcissists soo they would stick thier nose up in the air and leave me alone. I did not try to make them jealous though. And it is difficult to truly hurt a narcissists feelings. (Still wondering if they actually have them). I just played them a little to see what they were like, and when I saw a few red flags, I dropped them like a bad habit. I would tell them I'm not interested though, not string them along to get a kick. Girls tease me like that from time to time, but I know they are just gamers. They are just trying to get me to make them feel good. At my expence.

I'm sorry you feel so bad. I know about those mind games; ai have read that those who do it, do it to get attention from other people, and mainly because they have low self esteem and just love to get that kind of attention from other people. Just ignore those who are attention seekers and can't even take themselves seriously because they are not trustworthy.

It takes a HELL of a lot more courage to live on and fight what's bothering you, than to kill yourself. As long as you're alive, you can find a way to change your bad situation into a better one. You can't do anything dead. My life has been one failure after another, but I dare not let that convince me to give up. Think of how many times Edison failed before he finally got his first light bulb or phonograph to work. Failure is one of our best teachers, not our nemesis.

Thank you to those who replied to my post.Ive decided to avoid the men that have been playing these games.the trouble is if i go somewhere else,there will probably be someone else who will do the same thing but if that happens i will have to confront them about it as i'm not going to put up with it any more.its like the more miserable they can make someone the more important it makes them feel.society is so twisted.there are so many of these kind of ego trips going on.it should make them feel bad about themselves but it doesnt because their need for selfish ego boost is all they bother about and they have no conscience.

OP, I feel you when you say that you are sick of the mind games and ego trips. Nothing is more annoying than having to guess what someone else is thinking or what they like. I've had some people turn my questions around on me and tell me that I am overthinking things. Well yes, I may have been overthinking, but I also know what I saw as well. You do too.

The trick here is to make sure you don't have toxic people around you. If you are Aspie, you will likely be introverted and more interested in deep, meaningful connections with others. Those that are truly interested in getting to know you will try and make that kind of connection with you.

I know what you mean,Turquoise773. I had the misfortune to encounter individuals like that. If there's any justice, they shall pay for their cruelty. Nothing is forever...What comes around, goes around.

I hope someone does do to them what they have done to me. The thing is someone probably has done this to them so they think its ok to take it out on me.Its like they punish me for what someone else has done.The one man that brags about his life and his girlfriend(who apparently he has been with for some time, but hasn't mentioned before)keeps trying to worm his way into my life. For a moment it gets my hopes up that perhaps he does like me but really it's just to go on about his girlfriend.He's like a vampire trying to drain the life out of me.If people want an ego boost,why can't they just get a makeover or something? Why do they have to use other people to do it? Even if I try to .avoid him,he is still in my head.He wants me to wonder what's wrong with me and feel bad about myself.Sometimes he will pretend he doesn't notice me and talks to everyone else except me.Everything he does is deliberate designed to make me feel bad.I wondered if i was imagining it but my gut instinct knows what's going on.The problem is I can't get these vile people out of my head.Every day I have to wake up to this crap in my head and I just want the day to go away.My stomach churns at the thought of another day of this.

I totally understand. I hope they get their own medicine someday.

Because they are superficial, stupid, unable to offer something meaningful to this cruel world.



I don't know you personally, but I bet that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. That's what wicked people want us to do: To feel bad about ourselves, because they are so messed up and feel like rubbish themselves. So, they invest their best efforts to make us feel as bad as possible.
Those kind of beings don't deserve you nor me, nor anybody with some decency. Individuals like the one who is making you to suffer emotionally, are just attention seekers, and just want to mess around and hurt other people.

Thank you Sherry 221B for your replies.I hope u r well and things go well for you.Try to dodge the a***holes if you can.That's what I'm trying to do but unfortunately there's a lot of them about.

Thank you for your replies Sherry221B.Hope u r well and things go well for you.

There is a type of guy who flirts with every girl he comes in contact with. This kind of guy doesn't mean anything by it, he just likes to flirt and thinks that girls can tell serious flirting from nonserious flirting. It took me a long time to figure out the difference but now I can tell for the most part and I flirt back with the nonserious flirters the same as they do me. It's usually those who say obvious things like "Hey there gorgeous, when me and you gonna run off together?" or something like that. There are really only two ways to handle that. A mean "I think I'm free the weekend that Hell freezes over" or something like "Just tell me the time baby and I'll be there, you stud you!" and laugh. You either have to give it back to them as a joke or be mean. The joking kind works best. It also works on guys who flirt with you and you aren't interested in them. It gives them a chance to take it to a joking level and save face about being turned down.

Oliveoilmom,its more than casual flirting.They really give the impression they're interested.Sometimes its not just banter.Sometimes theres a spitefulness to it.I just dont want this in my head.I want to die.I dont want to wonder why other people are accepted and I'm not.I cant kill myself .I dont have the courage for that.I just wait to die but its taking a long time.

If it's for real meanness, then the best thing to do is try and remember that they are douchebags and you aren't. Also though, I know that just doing that doesn't help. When I was younger I was the girl that no boys liked and it made me so very, very depressed and hopeless. What helped me was a very few, very good friends who I asked to show me what I was doing wrong and help me start coming across better. It took a long time and I had to change an awful lot over quite a few years and it was actual work, but I did it. It took practice and I had to metaphorically grow balls and try things out that I was scared of failing at, and I did fail at first but I kept on till I had some successes.

Is it just these particular guys or do you have problems with other guys?

Its just these particular ones.i'm going to try to avoid them and hopefully then the memory will fade.

Come up with a few good comebacks and keep them in mind and use them on them. Something that shows you are on to them and think bad of them. Maybe "Well hey there Casonova, got your blood test results back yet?" or "Hows that, you know, rash thing that you were complaining about?" Something like that, said with a smile to say "I'm playing this like I'm joking but you are a douchebag" can get the point across.

ETA; Oh! And the best way ever to shoot down somebody who is flirting with you to mess with you is, when they ask for your number, give them 867-5309. Tell them "I go by Jenny" and leave it at that.