Feelings of bitterness

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Just needing to know that I am not the only one who feels bitter when I hear about somebody else's "great" relationship. I really do try to not let relationship issues get me down, despite what I might post on here. I just hate that dating comes so easy for some people, and the rest of us struggle with it.

I don't feel bitter, but I do feel envious

I don't feel bitter nor envious, but I feel something is very wrong about me.

I used to be bitter only I realize that all those "happy" couples are not as happy as you might think.

I don't feel bitter when I see someone else in love because I don't think that I am entitled to love. But I do feel sad when I see people disrespecting or mistreating a loving and wonderful partner, especially during the times that I am single. It's sad when bad people disrespect what is supposed to be one of the most amazing feelings in the world.

I always find love when I'm not looking for it, any time I have felt desperate (I am not calling you desperate, but I have felt feelings of that and use this word in context of myself only) to be loved by someone the people I obsess over run away.

Yeah I feel bitter. I know there is something wrong with me and I feel angry that I can't connect with others like normal people do. I just don't know how they manage it.

I don't really feel bitter, but I do feel envious of them, and sad for myself that I don't think I can ever have what they have, because I'm too flawed for anyone to want in any lasting way.

I used to know a married couple who were devoted to each other more deeply than any other I've witnessed. I've known lots of couples but this one always stood out to me, and I still think about them even though I no longer kept in touch. They just had such a great marriage. Yes, I know that all relationships have their strains and issues, and you don't know how bad things are when the world isn't looking. But largely it was pretty clear to see that this couple really were pretty good together, and certainly their commitment was 110%. In conversations with them I was impressed at the code of commitment, love and respect they upheld for each other. It was probably the most admirable relationship I've ever encountered. They had a lovely family life, and they were each others' best friend. They were both so functional -- sometimes I can barely cope with staying on top of washing my dishes.

I myself am long-divorced as of many years ago, and my years 'before' and 'after' that failed marriage are spotted with pathetic and disastrous mismatches and painful failures, one of which actually managed to ruin my life for a while there...

I don't think I'll ever find a man as good and steadfast as the one in the marriage I admired, because I don't think anyone functional will want to be with someone who, while having a lot to offer, has so many issues that I need nurturing, not just normal relationship stuff. And so my main feeling about that is just sadness, and envy of those people who get to have it all.

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I feel bitter and envious most of the time. I don't like the fact that it is so hard for me, nearly impossible. Then I go through stages where I don't care. It depends on how aware I am of my difficulties. Really it is all a mental thing. If am pessimistic, I won't be willing to put myself out there, self-fulfilling prophecy. If I look at the reality, I feel more hopeful. Right now I am accepting of my AS traits. I see dating, romance, and committed relationships as a universal problem that everyone has, regardless of their mental health status. Relationships are hard work and it is difficult to find someone who is a good match. Everybody I know who is dating or in a relationship finds it difficult, especially the dating part (being on the search, getting to know people, feeling disappointed when things don't work out, etc.).

You are not alone in this. As an individual growing up with Asperger syndrome your life was more than likely hell on earth. Especially if you were not diagnosed early on in your life.

There is no need for you to be bitter though. There is hope for you as well as other people who are in a similar situation. Now I don't know you and I'm not trying to make a guess about your situation but what I can tell you is this. If the other areas of your life such as your personal health, your education, your occupational situation are all in dire straits then you have more pressing matters to deal with than being in a great relationship.


You would need to fix the other areas of your life BEFORE you even get into a relationship. Now I'm not going to sit here and say that people who don't have the other areas of their life in good working order are in bad relationships. But the person to whom they are involved with more than likely wishes that they were with somebody else over the long term.


If, however, the other areas of your life ARE in good working order then the journey towards a good relationship is almost complete. What you have to do now is make an investment of both time and yes money in order to fix the problems that you might be having. The internet is LOADED with advice on how to get this part of your life in good working order.

I feel happy for them. I am not them and they are not me so to feel anything else would be pointless.

Dating doesn't come easy for all of us. I went through a horrible relationship prior to this one. I should have left him 10 years ago but I didn't. I don't like dating whatsoever. I just happened to get together with my fiancé whom I knew for years as we were co-workers/friends. Don't be bitter, you will find someone. Just be picky and cautious who you choose. I should have listened to my family & friends regarding my ex, but I didn't. They are on the outside looking in and can give you unbiased (usually) opinions unless they themselves are hateful. When you are in hurry because you just want to be with someone, then that can cause a lot of problems. Just go slow and the one you are meant to be with will come a long in the right time. I never anticipated being with the one I am with, it just happened. I contacted him after a year of no contact, just to see how he was doing. Then everything started to fall into place. I actually wasn't even looking for someone, but what is meant to be will happen at the right time. Our relationship isn't perfect, nobody's is. But we work on it together and I try to help others in the same situation as ours. We have a unique relationship and nobody in my family or circle of friends can compare as none have Asperger's. They cant really relate to us in may ways, but in some ways they can. Stay strong and live your life, don't waste time being bitter, its not worth it. <3