Slightly underweight or curvy/slightly overweight?

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I get that everyone has personal preferences as far as the way they might like a partner to look.....I do too. But, I also remain open to the idea that someone who is right for me in every other way may not look the way I would like them to look. And I'd much rather not preclude having the kind of relationship I want simply because I can't accept something less than my physical ideal.

I guess for me, a relationship is not so much about doing as it is about being. I discovered (probably too late in my life for it to be a useful piece of knowledge) that if I am with the right person, it absolutely does not matter what we do. We can do what he wants, we can do what I want, we can do what we both want, we can do what neither wants - it's simply that being together is enough for both of us. The rest of it is kind of irrelevant.

Yeah, that's what I want, but the question is really - is there someone like that out there for me. I have this very strong feeling like there isn't.

Yeah, my question is even tougher: is there another someone like that out there for me? What are the chances (especially considering I live in such a low-population area) I can find someone like that TWICE?

Why, that's why I find this whole focus on shared interests kinda of ridiculous to me, shared interests are bonus but they are not all.

I see the shared interests as an ice-breaker, a way to open a dialogue with another person, so having something in common can serve as a conduit to really getting to know someone. If you can't talk, how are you gonna interact enough to find out if you and this other person share other, deeper, more meaningful similarities?

But, no, there's no reason whatsoever that two people in a relationship should share exactly the same interests, all of them. Even one minor common interest may be enough to open the door to mutual discovery.

I actually prefer slightly overweight. I'm in the normal range myself, but I need to work on muscle definition a lot more.

I did have a short-lived thing with a woman who was significantly overweight, though.

"You look like you're in a lot of pain right now. You alright?"

"Nope, it's all good! Just fine!"

I got bruises where no bruise has ever gone before.

I've never got it either. I find shared beliefs is more valuable. Even then, if you're both tolerant of those beliefs then what's the problem?

Eh, weight is such a sensitive issue.

I can be physically attracted to women that range from thin to slightly overweight. Anyone too thin or more than slightly overweight I find it difficult to find attractive, while it is possible.

I feel extremely guilty about it too.. The logical part of me says I shouldn't, I'll be attracted to what I'm attracted to but the emotional part still feels bad.



TBH, I just wish I was blind..

Midrange (well fit), but curvy over super thin. All women are beautiful in their own way. I just have narrower preferences over others.

Heh, snowboarding was yesterday (X-Mas) and we're in a blackout period for our season passes until the New Year (skiheavenly.com goes from 12/26 to 12/31). So going to try to scrounge up some parts (T-Nuts from K2) for my bindings and get my KTM motorcycle back from the shop.



I'm describing the person in terms of a phenotype, their physical attributes because that is the first thing we see. And isn't that the topic of this thread, preference of the physical?

I think you are presuming objectification, whereas I'm simply relating physical attributes that are attractive to me. Much like skin hue, mass and facial structures are attractive or repulsive, we find ourselves fascinated by certain characteristics, and disgusted by others, merely based upon what we see initially.



To a degree. I have found myself more open to those who are more physically attractive (to me) both initially and later on in the relationship. This includes periods of intimacy (e.g. sex), and may be understood by the other as me being more "emotionally involved" versus other partners who aren't as matching in the physical areas that I have mentioned previously (thin/athletic).



I think it does. Now there are two aspects of size, BMI and height. I've dated those who were taller than myself and those who were shorter, with little difference (IMO). However, I do seem to find a deeper connection (or am more willing to extend myself) to those who were more "in shape". However, that connection may be their ability to keep up physically.

There was a girl who took a martial art with me, and I found her physically attractive even though her complexion wasn't perfect (acne) and she had more body fat than those "waifs" I have mentioned previously.

As I mentioned previously I think that I associate thinness with health, whereas being overweight (or curvy or fluffy or a BBW) is unhealthy and I find myself not as open to a relationship with someone like that (even though I have dated curvy/fluffy women).

^ so, would it be correct to deduce that you are inferring a number of character traits from someone's physical appearance by generally preferring thin women (i.e. because in your experience they are more likely to enjoy the type of activities you do and have similar attitudes)?

I'm just confused whether the objectification (which deciding on attraction based on body type - I mean there isn't even a face on the models the OP posted) of the attraction is based on purely sexual arousal or, like it seems to be for you, on presumption of other characteristics that person would have based on their body type.

Maybe it's a male/female thing, but I am finding it difficult to be attracted to a body without a face, I guess for me the face is more likely to inform about those potential character nuances (another question is whether those inferences can be relied upon or are just lucky guesses).

Yes, absolutely

It's a preference backed by anecdotal experience, along with the potential capabilities. I don't begrudge the curvy woman or presume that they can't, I simply have a preference for the thin ones.



Well, when you're only left a couple of variables in which to make a decision, then you make a decision on a couple of variables.

Ethnicity, facial attractiveness, age, socio-economic status, height, etc. weren't included, only pretty much the body type. I related my preference given the constraints of the question.



I concur. However, I don't recall that being part of the original question.

Can you have someone lacking a nose and teeth, but thin be physically attractive to someone like myself?

No.

yes, sorry, I do wander off topic a lot

So, is it ok to ask if facial attractiveness is secondary to the body attractiveness?

LoL, no apologies as this is an adult discussion and we're free to wander around to get a better answer

For me, I think the answer is yes. I've dated girls with bad teeth, acne and a 'romanesque' nose (once all at the same time) but her body type was appealing (which is what got me started) and then her interests kept me occupied... for a time.

Now that you've asked, and I've had a chance to ponder... If I had to prioritize, I would actually put the body type above the face. At least for the initial dating / courtship portion.

This is of course only for me, and based upon my own past experiences. Being single make a person a lot more "flexible"

Why feel guilty? People's attraction is more or less hardwired. I don't think you can really choose what you are attracted to. Humans are attracted to other humans that look a certain way, cats are attracted to other cats because they are hardwired to be.

I'm interested to see the female to male version of this.