What makes you feel loved?

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This is not going to be autism related. I will state this is man and women related.

Women, I ask you this:

Would you feel that being cherished makes you feel loved?

Men, I ask you this:

Would you feel that being needed makes you feel loved?

I will say myself that I do feel more loved when a woman needs me.

Can you explain what you mean when you say "needed"? What does this entail exactly?

Feeling supported and understood is more important.

I feel valued when people actually listen to me speak, instead of letting me ramble while they tune me out, or telling me to shut up after five minutes. Sadly, this doesn't happen very often.

I also feel valued when I do something nice for someone, and they notice without my having to mention it. This happens more than the first, but still not enough in my opinion.

I would love to have someone feel they need me around them (in terms of dating/relationship).
I would love to be cherished as well.
The problem is if you never tell someone these feelings you have for them, hearts can sometimes be broken.

Coffeebean pretty much got the cherished part understood there. Typically, women want to be supported and understood, and that is what makes them feel valued as I have understood it.

As for being needed. A man typically wants to feel as if the partner needs him for support and caring and love. In other words, men want to be the hero. All I know is that I just want to feel as if I am needed for support and caring and that I am capable of doing it.
The biggest fear... being told "I don't need you. you aren't good enough." I can assure you that this is not an Aspie male way of thinking. This is an everyman's way of thinking. To be told you aren't good enough destroys the male ego since the male ego is very competitive in nature.

To be clear, this is not relating to my other thread on the first page of this subforum. This is relating to what I have learned about myself.

Probably not. I mean, I can appreciate the effort the other person is undertaking but I also don't really seem to have the dependence on the "aww he loves me" feeling - in so much as I it intellectually registers but there is no emotional response (unless you count guilt). I have been told before there is nothing in me to 'hook onto'. I take pride in this. It means I am whole and do not need another person to make me so.

what I love is when I meet another human being whose personal interest do not have to be contorted out of shape to enjoy spending time with me and vice versa

I'm female, but I'd probably prefer feeling needed to cherished. Not sure I'm a huge fan of either (though being understood is important, wouldn't anyone want this?). I like to feel that my partner would be hugely disappointed to be without me, but not the the extent that they "need" me. More that they "want me more than anyone else".

I'm also still not sure I understand what you mean by the two terms and the difference between them though (after reading both your posts here) so I may have gotten it all wrong.

^^^
I agree with this.

Being cuddled and having someone that will laugh with me and not at me.

I can't remember ever feeling cherished by anyone.

A guy I used to work with said he loved me. We're both straight guys and he was in a long term relationship. I think he said it because I was so weird and quirky, and he actually liked that about me, whereas most people thought I was weird. I think maybe he saw me as a lovable character. I don't know.

I don't have any female friends, I would feel loved if I did. More loved than I feel at the moment at least.

Aside from my family, I've never had that feeling. But what makes me feel loved in when someone actually takes the time to listen to me--doesn't reject what i'm saying as ridiculous or "in my head." Just listens, and doesn't judge.

Time, attention, kindness, affection. These make me feel loved.

Feeling understood, feeling listened too, doing things together, intimacy/sex if it is loving and considerate, cuddles.

My need is not to be loved, but to love someone who accepts my love. I'm not sure I need to be loved in return, unless acceptance is always a part of love. I'm not sure I can characterize the feeling of being loved, although I 100% know that I am loved.