Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

smart women equal nice guys

Page 1 of 5 [ 75 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

06 Jul 2013, 8:07 pm

on looking around i've heard some women say ''I am too smart and succesful for men to date me''
that men ''don't like'' smart and successful women, and men ''only want dumb girls''

now this very similiar to the nice guys rant: ''women hate us nice guys,but love jerks''
are ''smart'' women just unattractive women, are they just full of it, or do men really not like
smart and successful women?

are these women truly scaring men off because they are smart, or do they have other issues
that scares men off.

just google. ''men don't like smart women'' ''why successful women single''
and similar terms



Last edited by billiscool on 06 Jul 2013, 8:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

1000Knives
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,036
Location: CT, USA

06 Jul 2013, 8:23 pm

Oh what now women, now you on the hot plate.



Thelibrarian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,948
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

06 Jul 2013, 8:26 pm

Bill, an excellent series of books on differences between the sexes came out about twenty years ago. These books were very popular when they came out, and I think they are particularly important for aspies trying to make a success out of their romantic relationships since we don't intuit this stuff, but have to have it spelled out for us:

http://www.amazon.com/John-Gray/e/B000A ... 251&sr=8-1



Willard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,647

06 Jul 2013, 8:38 pm

Quote:
are these women truly scaring men off because they are smart, or do they have other issues
that scares men off.



I am not in the least intimidated by smart women, but then I can't abide idiots of either gender.

"Successful" can have different meanings, I suppose, but I have no interest in anyone who's so wrapped up in a career or chasing the almighty dollar that it consumes their life. People like that may have a certain type of intelligence, but tend to be shallow, domineering and manipulative as well. I prefer smart people who just have a curiosity about life in general.



Last edited by Willard on 06 Jul 2013, 10:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tyri0n
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)

06 Jul 2013, 8:40 pm

I think "awkward" guys or "passive and awkward" guys are a better description for what is usually called "nice" guys. Our society views women as sex objects, rather than people, valuable primarily for the visual appeal of their figure. Men are viewed as "performers" of a sort. Men have to "perform" certain functions in order to be attractive. Being passive and awkward makes one a non-performer.

My theory is that physically unattractive women and non-performing (or passive and awkward) men are equals. Of course, sex appeal in a man and a wonderful personality in a woman can help overcome awkwardness and ugliness respectively, but these things are limited in their utility because these individuals have failed the primary tests of their gender. In the same way, a bad personality in a hot woman (unfortunately, the f**ktards in society often equate high IQ in a woman with this) and plainness in a hyper-performing man are only minor handicaps towards getting what they want.



billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

06 Jul 2013, 9:09 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
I think "awkward" guys or "passive and awkward" guys are a better description for what is usually called "nice" guys. Our society views women as sex objects, rather than people, valuable primarily for the visual appeal of their figure. Men are viewed as "performers" of a sort. Men have to "perform" certain functions in order to be attractive. Being passive and awkward makes one a non-performer.

My theory is that physically unattractive women and non-performing (or passive and awkward) men are equals. Of course, sex appeal in a man and a wonderful personality in a woman can help overcome awkwardness and ugliness respectively, but these things are limited in their utility because these individuals have failed the primary tests of their gender. In the same way, a bad personality in a hot woman (unfortunately, the f**** in society often equate high IQ in a woman with this) and plainness in a hyper-performing man are only minor handicaps towards getting what they want.


so,are these smart women just ugly (the ones who can't get dates)
or do they have bad personality. are they right, do men really prefer dumb
girls. or are the smart women who don't do well in dating,are they just bitter.



1000Knives
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,036
Location: CT, USA

06 Jul 2013, 9:13 pm

billiscool wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
I think "awkward" guys or "passive and awkward" guys are a better description for what is usually called "nice" guys. Our society views women as sex objects, rather than people, valuable primarily for the visual appeal of their figure. Men are viewed as "performers" of a sort. Men have to "perform" certain functions in order to be attractive. Being passive and awkward makes one a non-performer.

My theory is that physically unattractive women and non-performing (or passive and awkward) men are equals. Of course, sex appeal in a man and a wonderful personality in a woman can help overcome awkwardness and ugliness respectively, but these things are limited in their utility because these individuals have failed the primary tests of their gender. In the same way, a bad personality in a hot woman (unfortunately, the f**** in society often equate high IQ in a woman with this) and plainness in a hyper-performing man are only minor handicaps towards getting what they want.


so,are these smart women just ugly (the ones who can't get dates)
or do they have bad personality. are they right, do men really prefer dumb
girls. or are the smart women who don't do well in dating,are they just bitter.


Probably in the same way as "nice guys' all of the above.

Thankfully I'm a dick who can't even form female friendships because I'll just talk to them about cars forever and they'll get bored.



Thelibrarian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,948
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

06 Jul 2013, 9:15 pm

billiscool wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
I think "awkward" guys or "passive and awkward" guys are a better description for what is usually called "nice" guys. Our society views women as sex objects, rather than people, valuable primarily for the visual appeal of their figure. Men are viewed as "performers" of a sort. Men have to "perform" certain functions in order to be attractive. Being passive and awkward makes one a non-performer.

My theory is that physically unattractive women and non-performing (or passive and awkward) men are equals. Of course, sex appeal in a man and a wonderful personality in a woman can help overcome awkwardness and ugliness respectively, but these things are limited in their utility because these individuals have failed the primary tests of their gender. In the same way, a bad personality in a hot woman (unfortunately, the f**** in society often equate high IQ in a woman with this) and plainness in a hyper-performing man are only minor handicaps towards getting what they want.


so,are these smart women just ugly (the ones who can't get dates)
or do they have bad personality. are they right, do men really prefer dumb
girls. or are the smart women who don't do well in dating,are they just bitter.


Bill, here is an interesting link I found on this topic. This is from Maureen Dowd, who never found a husband, and it's not because she's ugly or has an unacceptable personality. She is an uber-liberal elite columnist for the New York Times. Much of her argument is based upon the idea that men don't like smart, powerful women.


Here is Dowd's blog discussing the same topic in short blurbs:

http://dowdreport.blogspot.com/2007/11/ ... ingle.html



Tyri0n
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)

06 Jul 2013, 9:20 pm

billiscool wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
I think "awkward" guys or "passive and awkward" guys are a better description for what is usually called "nice" guys. Our society views women as sex objects, rather than people, valuable primarily for the visual appeal of their figure. Men are viewed as "performers" of a sort. Men have to "perform" certain functions in order to be attractive. Being passive and awkward makes one a non-performer.

My theory is that physically unattractive women and non-performing (or passive and awkward) men are equals. Of course, sex appeal in a man and a wonderful personality in a woman can help overcome awkwardness and ugliness respectively, but these things are limited in their utility because these individuals have failed the primary tests of their gender. In the same way, a bad personality in a hot woman (unfortunately, the f**** in society often equate high IQ in a woman with this) and plainness in a hyper-performing man are only minor handicaps towards getting what they want.


so,are these smart women just ugly (the ones who can't get dates)
or do they have bad personality. are they right, do men really prefer dumb
girls. or are the smart women who don't do well in dating,are they just bitter.


Men do prefer dumb women. But any hot woman can get a date. The determining factor for women is physical features, not intelligence, either way, since society views women as sex objects.

And Maureen Dowd is not attractive and probably was average or worse than average at her peak. Sure, she might have an unpleasant personality, but being a journalist is hardly being a "powerful" woman anyway. Everybody hates journalists, and the majority are quite stupid. If she was hot, it would have turned out differently regardless.



Tyri0n
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)

06 Jul 2013, 9:26 pm

What's the most appalling is dumb + plain women who pick up guys easily, sometimes multiple guys at once. I've seen a few of those situations, and it makes me roll my eyes and want to gossip about both the men and the women involved.



billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

06 Jul 2013, 9:28 pm

Thelibrarian wrote:

Bill, here is an interesting link I found on this topic. This is from Maureen Dowd, who never found a husband, and it's not because she's ugly or has an unacceptable personality. She is an uber-liberal elite columnist for the New York Times. Much of her argument is based upon the idea that men don't like smart, powerful women.


Here is Dowd's blog discussing the same topic in short blurbs:

http://dowdreport.blogspot.com/2007/11/ ... ingle.html


so smart powerful women equals social awkward,shy men when it comes to dating.
that is very interesting. so what it possible comes down too is, that men are just as
picky as women are but instead of ''hating'' shy women, like women do with shy men. they
just ''hate'' smart and powerful women.if it true or not



Thelibrarian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,948
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

06 Jul 2013, 10:07 pm

billiscool wrote:
Thelibrarian wrote:

Bill, here is an interesting link I found on this topic. This is from Maureen Dowd, who never found a husband, and it's not because she's ugly or has an unacceptable personality. She is an uber-liberal elite columnist for the New York Times. Much of her argument is based upon the idea that men don't like smart, powerful women.


Here is Dowd's blog discussing the same topic in short blurbs:

http://dowdreport.blogspot.com/2007/11/ ... ingle.html


so smart powerful women equals social awkward,shy men when it comes to dating.
that is very interesting. so what it possible comes down too is, that men are just as
picky as women are but instead of ''hating'' shy women, like women do with shy men. they
just ''hate'' smart and powerful women.if it true or not


I think it is the case that most women prefer a man with confidence.

I'm not sure if "hate" is the right word for men's attitudes towards smart, powerful women though. That's just not what most men want in a spouse or lover. But to each his own. I kind of like smart women, though I've never been involved with a powerful one.



Kurgan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,132
Location: Scandinavia

06 Jul 2013, 10:22 pm

Contrary to popular belief, men are not intimidated by smart or successful women. This is post hoc ergo propter hoc reasoning--and careerist women who never get a date probably have some setbacks. Almost all career women I know are happily married and have children.



MR_BOGAN
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2008
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,479
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!

06 Jul 2013, 10:35 pm

I don't find smart women less attractive I find them more attractive. :shrug:

Good to see you are back bill and doing your usual posts. :lol:


_________________
Dirty Dancing (1987) - Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU8CmMJf8QA


Tyri0n
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)

07 Jul 2013, 12:00 am

Kurgan wrote:
Contrary to popular belief, men are not intimidated by smart or successful women. This is post hoc ergo propter hoc reasoning--and careerist women who never get a date probably have some setbacks. Almost all career women I know are happily married and have children.


Quite true. My boss (the head of a federal agency) was not the epitome of attractiveness and was married twice before she turned lesbian recently. she was married for more than a decade to one of those men.

In general, however, what distinguishes women who are successful in dating from women who can't get a date is looks. Plain and simple. Looks. Hot women get dates. Ugly women don't. All these other posts by billiscool trying to slice and dice other factors just don't hit home.

If a girl is hot, little else matters. If a girl is not hot, little else matters. Blame the girls or blame the patriarchy for objectification. Your pick.



MXH
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain

07 Jul 2013, 1:03 am

1000Knives wrote:
billiscool wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
I think "awkward" guys or "passive and awkward" guys are a better description for what is usually called "nice" guys. Our society views women as sex objects, rather than people, valuable primarily for the visual appeal of their figure. Men are viewed as "performers" of a sort. Men have to "perform" certain functions in order to be attractive. Being passive and awkward makes one a non-performer.

My theory is that physically unattractive women and non-performing (or passive and awkward) men are equals. Of course, sex appeal in a man and a wonderful personality in a woman can help overcome awkwardness and ugliness respectively, but these things are limited in their utility because these individuals have failed the primary tests of their gender. In the same way, a bad personality in a hot woman (unfortunately, the f**** in society often equate high IQ in a woman with this) and plainness in a hyper-performing man are only minor handicaps towards getting what they want.


so,are these smart women just ugly (the ones who can't get dates)
or do they have bad personality. are they right, do men really prefer dumb
girls. or are the smart women who don't do well in dating,are they just bitter.


Probably in the same way as "nice guys' all of the above.

Thankfully I'm a dick who can't even form female friendships because I'll just talk to them about cars forever and they'll get bored.


Lol, you too?