How can I accept turning 30 and still being single?

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Marknis
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19 Mar 2018, 1:25 pm

My 20's are almost over and I feel like my best years are already gone because I didn't establish a long term relationship or atleast dated a lot. My only relationship didn't last very long and I sometimes feel like that will be my only taste of love. I feel like if I didn't make up for what I missed in my developmental years that I will miss out completely. I've even had people tell me I should commit suicide if I turn 30 and nothing has gotten better.

I don't know how I can accept being 30 and still being single. It's just another reminder that I am a year older and I am still lonely.



sly279
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19 Mar 2018, 4:28 pm

Accepting doesn’t matter it’s going happen. I had no relationship and probably never will I turned 30 last month.

Atleast you got to experience love and relationships at all in you life. I never will.



kraftiekortie
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19 Mar 2018, 5:57 pm

I think you will experience relationships, Sly. That's my personal feeling.

Marknis. You would be surprised how many 30-year-olds aren't in relationships. They are not happy about it---but they usually realize there is life besides having a girlfriend.



Marknis
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19 Mar 2018, 6:12 pm

I fear that my past equals my future. Social isolation, being denied, and told I am wrong defines my past. I wanted to prove those who hurt me wrong but they are still winning.



kraftiekortie
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19 Mar 2018, 6:17 pm

You can't accept what will be the "future." You have to create your own future.

The poet, Keats, just let things happen to him. He was a great poet----but only lived to age 25.

You don't have to be Keats. You can be more like Byron or one of them (though Byron has some jerk qualities, too).



Marknis
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19 Mar 2018, 6:29 pm

I haven't read much poetry in my life. It's not considered "cool" in the Bible Belt. In fact, rednecks say poets do drugs despite how the majority of them do drugs themselves. :roll:



314pe
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20 Mar 2018, 4:00 am

Marknis wrote:
I don't know how I can accept being 30 and still being single. It's just another reminder that I am a year older and I am still lonely.

No, don't accept it. You should focus on trying to change it.



Marknis
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20 Mar 2018, 10:38 am

314pe wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't know how I can accept being 30 and still being single. It's just another reminder that I am a year older and I am still lonely.

No, don't accept it. You should focus on trying to change it.


I just wonder how long the change will take. I want to atleast still be young when it happens. I want to grow old with someone rather than wait until I am old.



Closet Genious
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20 Mar 2018, 11:04 am

Please go do the self authoring program, at selfauthoring.com.



AngelRho
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20 Mar 2018, 12:00 pm

Marknis wrote:
I haven't read much poetry in my life. It's not considered "cool" in the Bible Belt. In fact, rednecks say poets do drugs despite how the majority of them do drugs themselves. :roll:

I throw my gun in the back of my truck
With it I hope to kill a 12-point buck
While in the woods, BANG! I see the deer fall
I take him home, freeze the meat, and mount his horns on my wall

I grab my pole and tackle box and head to the lake
At this time in the morning, I feel barely awake
There is no school today, I’m glad there is no class
A mighty tug on my line, I hook a large mouth bass

There is nothing like hunting; waiting for the kill
Cutting and cleaning the meat my freezer I’ll soon fill
Deer steaks and deer jerky have such a great taste
And with his head on my wall nothing goes to waste

I like fishing, fishing is fun
Fishing underneath the rising sun
I like catching the fish and putting them in a net
Fish is a great dish when the table is set

My truck is unstoppable; it can’t beat
I slam the door and strap myself in the seat
I start the engine and press the gas to the floor
My truck takes off and my engine lets out a roar

I wouldn’t be able to hunt or fish if it wasn’t for my truck
With it I carry poles, guns, and my fallen buck
I pull my boat with my truck in four-wheel-drive
At my destination I always arrive



Aniihya
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20 Mar 2018, 4:27 pm

I don't want such a deep relationship, because I do not need the stress when times get tough. I would rather have a bromance or a sexless relationship with someone who is halfway between best friend and lover.



Marknis
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20 Mar 2018, 7:55 pm

I am sometimes told I am not ready for a relationship or that I need to work on myself. It feels like I am being told I am too messed up for a relationship.



yellowtamarin
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20 Mar 2018, 9:30 pm

Marknis wrote:
I am sometimes told I am not ready for a relationship or that I need to work on myself. It feels like I am being told I am too messed up for a relationship.

Maybe you are being told that, but that's up to you to decide, not them. I've had times when I've realised I'm too messed up for a relationship, so I've taken time to work on my health to get back on track.

It's not a permanent state. Even if you're currently "messed up", that's just an opportunity to work on it. And I'm an advocate for constant self-improvement anyway, whether you are trying to find a partner or not.



The Grand Inquisitor
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20 Mar 2018, 10:38 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I am sometimes told I am not ready for a relationship or that I need to work on myself. It feels like I am being told I am too messed up for a relationship.

Maybe you are being told that, but that's up to you to decide, not them. I've had times when I've realised I'm too messed up for a relationship, so I've taken time to work on my health to get back on track.

It's not a permanent state. Even if you're currently "messed up", that's just an opportunity to work on it. And I'm an advocate for constant self-improvement anyway, whether you are trying to find a partner or not.

If you can't make something work for you as is, the only logical step is to make changes until you reap the success you desire. It's not so much a matter of being 'messed up' as it is realising that under current circumstances, things aren't working out optimally and change is necessary for you to reasonably expect different and better results.



314pe
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21 Mar 2018, 7:46 am

Marknis wrote:
314pe wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't know how I can accept being 30 and still being single. It's just another reminder that I am a year older and I am still lonely.

No, don't accept it. You should focus on trying to change it.

I just wonder how long the change will take. I want to atleast still be young when it happens. I want to grow old with someone rather than wait until I am old.

Ask yourself how fast can you change.



bobaspie2015
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21 Mar 2018, 9:47 am

Marknis wrote:
My 20's are almost over and I feel like my best years are already gone because I didn't establish a long term relationship or at least dated a lot. I've even had people tell me I should commit suicide if I turn 30 and nothing has gotten better.
I don't know how I can accept being 30 and still being single. It's just another reminder that I am a year older and I am still lonely.


Marknis Your 20's are almost over and now you are entering a new faze of life.
I recall when I was your age I did think the same and believe me; I was so very surprised to find that my life became more exciting as each year approached.
You may be involved with the wrong group of people if they are telling you 'to commit suicide.'


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