Would you ever date someone you are not attracted too?

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I have a friend of 6 years. She knew me when I was married and I knew her when she was married. We are now both divorced (over 2 years) and somehow we have started dating. We have been together for 4 or 5 months and are sexually intimate. She is not the typical girl that I date.

She is nerdy, intelligent, funny, kind, and very compassionate. She may have her own issue also (a little OCD) but she is very considerate and understanding of my mental issues. She knows about all the problems I am going thru and still has stuck around me.

The fact is that I am 40 now. It is not realistic for me to date 25 yr olds who are physically attractive. I like who she is but certain physical characteristics of her bother me. (history of sever acne and bad skin, large forehead)

Do you think that character is more important than sexual attraction? Or will this harm me in the long run?

You're sleeping with her, and have engaged sexually with her despite these so called physical flaws you don't like. The fact is, you wouldn't sleep with her if you weren't attracted to her.

Aspiemike, I beg to differ. My first non-paid sex partner wasn't someone I found attractive, at all. But being in my early 20's at the time, I was still able to override that lack of physical attraction and get intimate with her anyway. (Probably not so much now, at age 30.) Reason being that it was all driven by a "now or never" mindset, common among young aspie men.

If there's no physical attraction, I wouldn't call it dating. I'd call it a platonic friendship.

I'm pretty desperate, but I'd never consider dating somebody I wasn't attracted to. That might mean I'll be alone forever, but IMO that's better than settling

I wouldn't date someone unattractive. At 40 you've probably got a couple of imperfections yourself though, no offense to you but what I mean is if you feel you're nitpicking then just stop nitpicking. If you feel it's a bit more than that, then maybe time to move on - you can't help it if you're fussy.

She used to have bad skin? Why should what she looked like in the past be any factor in her attractiveness today?!

You've known her for 6 years so I think you should know her character/personality very well. And it's going to be hurtful if you suddenly announce you're not attracted to her AFTER you had sex with her for months, and after you've been getting to know her for 6 years.. She could feel a bit used. The friendship and all the things you know about each other seems like a lot to throw away just because of her facial imperfection. If you insist at least end it with her in a way that doesn't leave her self-conscious and hurt.

Attraction is a pretty simple and painless scenario when you first meet someone, but dealing with it when you've already been with them for 4-5 months is a different story. It's too late for it to happen without there being no harm no foul.

The large forehead believe it or not can be "fixed". Just treat her to a day at the hair salon and try to get the stylist to encourage her to get bangs. They say if you have a large forehead you can disguise it with bangs.

It doesn't even make sense to me to date someone who I'm not attracted to.

Unless the non-attraction is based on disliking aspects of their character that involve ability to hurt,
then would it make sens not to want to hurt them?

Funnily enough, someone asked me the question in the topic IRL recently. My answer was "yes, in exceptional cases". I presume by "attracted" you mean "sexually attracted", because obviously you'd have to be attracted to the person in some way to date them.

Of course, I would not want to get physically intimate with someone I actually found repulsive (and therefore wouldn't date them), but there is a grey, neutral area between "attractive" and "repulsive". For me that neutral area is quite large. So basically yes, I would date someone who I don't consider physically "hot" if I was particularly impressed by something else about her. But if by "not attracted" you actually mean "repulsed" - that's a different story.

Also, how hot you find someone's body is not the only factor in how much you would want to have sex with them (let alone how much you would enjoy it if it really happened). There are other factors involved, too, and I don't mean just for demisexuals.

It could be nitpicking. I am 40; and by far not an attractive male. I have sever cauliflower ear from years of BJJ and I have put on some weight in the last year due to depression. I am 22 pounds above my fight weight.

The fact is what I find attractive is something that is not within my grasp. Or maybe I see a beautiful girl of 25 and I realize a relationship with me probably would be poor for her.

The skin issue is pots and scars from years of acne. it still affects her and is oily in many places.

I had reservations from starting this relationship. She like me. I very much enjoy her friendship. I am afraid if I ever speak my thoughts on her physical appearance they will be so displeasing to her that she is hurt and our friendship would be harmed.

I am guessing that at some point I have to learn that I am no swim suit model and that I can not have everything I want.

So .. is it better to be with a good friend or to search for something else?