Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Agrestic
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2014
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 58

04 Jan 2014, 3:26 pm

I'm new here. I'm 19; diagnosed with AS when I was 3, underwent therapy to the point where I am considered incredibly mild.

My issue at hand is that I'm interested in a guy who is also diagnosed with AS who is two years my senior. We get along great- his friends tell me that he does act a lot more animated around me and I see some of what are considered tell-tale signs myself.

I met him in August; and I think we really do complement and get along with each other very well. I enjoy the time I spend with him and he seems to enjoy it too. He's met my mom, and he's opened up about some private things about him so he obviously trusts me.

But we're not "official".

My reservations in telling him stem from past occurrences- I have told a guy before that I liked him (about a year ago, he was the only NT I have liked, ironically), and it backfired horribly. Not only did he not even grant a response to the statement, he told his friends and it eventually spread all around. It was a completely ridiculous situation, and I recognize now that it isn't by any means the norm, but it still engraved into my head that I can't be that forward.

He graduates in May, which is why I'm getting a little antsy. I feel vulnerable since I'm not sure if my feelings are reciprocated, and I'm the kind of girl that it really helps me to call a spade a spade.

Am I trying to make things go too fast? Do I just need to find my lady balls and tell him?

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks again!



Lostiehere
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2013
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 345

04 Jan 2014, 3:50 pm

I think you should definitely tell him. In most instances, the worst thing that will happen is he will say "no." The best case scenario is that he will say "yes." Besides, if you don't ever tell him...and never take that chance, you will never know either way. And the truth is (speaking from experience on this subject)....not knowing is worse than either "yes" or "no" imho. Tell him! :P


_________________
Your Aspie score: 154 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 56 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

AQ Test Score: 37


aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,301
Location: Canada

04 Jan 2014, 3:57 pm

maybe you should take the chance to tell him. I almost didn't bother telling my girlfriend because of past experience with telling people I liked them (some situations were similar to your past experience, while others decided to give me the no reply treatment).

I'm not sure if your actions have proven to him that you like him or whether he has seen evidence that you like him. I find with the women I like, they are more prone to turn me down if my previous actions haven't backed up my feelings.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Agrestic
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2014
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 58

04 Jan 2014, 5:07 pm

Thanks to you both!

A part of me was worried that it would be odd since he is quite formal. ^^;



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

04 Jan 2014, 6:13 pm

I'd tell him. Better to know his reaction, no matter what it is, than to wonder.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Autism_Us
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 117

04 Jan 2014, 6:26 pm

Life is too short! Tell him! I should have told my now husband my feelings years ago! It would have saved me 8 years of a crappy first marriage!



SRT456
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2013
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 38

05 Jan 2014, 3:53 am

IMHO, Go for it! You miss 100% off the chances you don't take. What happened to you before is an isolated incident and what happened in it should not affect your future. Whatever response he gives, you should be clear in the knowledge that you know how he feels and even if the response is a no, you can stay as friends and who knows what will happen in the future.

Best of luck

SRT