so, I have a date with an NT at a bar

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I haven't been to a bar in ages, I decided on the "grab a beer" option because she has pictures of herself in bars and mentioned beer in her profile.

I don't know exactly what to expect. I have only been to bars when invited by a group of friends (usually involving bribes)

how much should I drink/ what is the pacing? Is one beer-an-hour ok?

What is a gender appropriate beer to order?

What are appropriate conversation topics? (this is the least important question)

I haven't chosen an appropriate location/time yet. I was pursuing this person under the 5th msg ask out rule so I don't know much about her.

she is far away, I'm probably going to end up paying an arm and a leg in cab fares but I'm OK with that in theory. I dont think I can get away with public transport because I'm liable to take a wrong turn into the wrong town.

how long should a date of this kind last?

I haven't been to a bar in 6 months, and have only been to 3 bars total, how do I choose the location? I can only handle a moderate level of stim and too loud will prevent me from hearing the convo. What qualities or descriptors might I see in the description of the bar/yelp that will indicate these factors?

This is a potential hookup situation, something I have never done outside of college before (living in the same building makes everything easier). How will I know if that is what she is looking for? Do I need to do anything differently? Is that a bad idea? My place will not be available, if it is leading in that direction how do we end up at her place?

I'm not sure I potentially want a pure hook-up but that might be what the situation calls for.

Am I worry to much and really this is a casual date I should have low expectations for?

1 drink per hour is perfect as that's how much your body can metabolize.

I'd drink Coors Light. It doesn't have enough alcohol to make you regret your words but just enough to let you feel a little relaxed.

Unless she's planning on getting drunk then you shouldn't go too wrong drinking at her pace. I wouldn't drink more than 4 pints over the evening though if you want to be in full control. If you feel it starting to affect you then just slow down. I'm in the UK and any beer over here is considered more of a mans drink but not sure if that's a universal thing.
As for conversation I would say tell her she looks nice, ask what she's done that day and take it from there.

Well back when I was still allowed to drink, (can't anymore since I became an alcoholic)..

Well before you go "Why would I take your advice you were an alcoholic" - I used to be able to control my drinking for years, especially in public places.

SO, when I was with a girl and we'd go out, I wouldn't drink anymore than 2 beers in the first hour. I usually would drink regular as I really hate the taste of light beer, but if you have a low tolerance then maybe light to be on the safe side.

It also used to depend on how much the girl drank too. If she's drinking say... a Bloody Mary and I'm drinking beer, then I will have 2 beers. If she's on her second Bloody Mary in the first hour, I'll probably order another beer in that hour too.

I wouldn't go anymore than 5. Especially depending on how long you're there. If I was there for 3 hours, I wouldn't drink more than 5.

But also keep in mind, this is MY tolerance. Even before I ever became an alcoholic I had a very high alcohol tolerance. When I did drink to get drunk with my buddies, it would take about 13-15 regular beers for me to get there, and even then I would still remember everything, not black out or throw up or anything like a lot of my friends did.

I never blacked out or threw up until I was prescribed antidepressants and then stupidly had 3ish beers with it... First time I ever blacked out.

don't drink coors unless you want to fund the republican party. ron coors is a huge donor.

ok, new more specific question: what is a good time on a Saturday to take a girl to the bar?

I haven't been to a bar in ages, I decided on the "grab a beer" option because she has pictures of herself in bars and mentioned beer in her profile.

I don't know exactly what to expect. I have only been to bars when invited by a group of friends (usually involving bribes)

how much should I drink/ what is the pacing? Is one beer-an-hour ok?

That's fine. I agree with others who've said limit it to 4 pints max. Personally, I'd go with max 3 because I know my alcohol tolerance is quite low right now since I haven't drank for months. More than 1/hr and the typical liver can't process it out fast enough and you start getting drunk. Buzzed is ok, but you don't want to be drunk, IMO.

What is a gender appropriate beer to order?

lol no such thing. Depends on the bar & the crowd. Some places are all about fancy microbrews, others only serve Budweiser & anything else is "gay." Personally, as long as you don't order a Smirnoff Ice or some sort of fruity cooler drink it's all good. Hell, I'm gay man and don't drink that gay stuff. Mind you, that's mainly because I don't care for sweet drinks at all. Just order what you like or try what's on special - can't go too wrong with beer. I doubt she, or anyone, is going to be analyzing your choice of beer even 1/10th as much as you might.

What are appropriate conversation topics? (this is the least important question)

Interests, current events, likes/dislikes etc. Thing is to ask her questions and let her go on about her interests vs. dominating conversation airspace talking about things you're interested in.

I haven't chosen an appropriate location/time yet. I was pursuing this person under the 5th msg ask out rule so I don't know much about her.

she is far away, I'm probably going to end up paying an arm and a leg in cab fares but I'm OK with that in theory. I dont think I can get away with public transport because I'm liable to take a wrong turn into the wrong town.

how long should a date of this kind last?

Depends on how it's going.. if it's going poorly, shorten it up and gtfo. If it's going well, let it go on as long as she'd like w/ the hopes that you end up back at her place.

I haven't been to a bar in 6 months, and have only been to 3 bars total, how do I choose the location? I can only handle a moderate level of stim and too loud will prevent me from hearing the convo. What qualities or descriptors might I see in the description of the bar/yelp that will indicate these factors?

Ideally it's described as a neighbourhood pub or lounge vs. a bar or club. Should be a quieter environment.

This is a potential hookup situation, something I have never done outside of college before (living in the same building makes everything easier). How will I know if that is what she is looking for? Do I need to do anything differently? Is that a bad idea? My place will not be available, if it is leading in that direction how do we end up at her place?

If she suggests you go back to her place, you know she's interested in more than just drinks & conversation. Try paying attention to any cues she may say/do to indicate it. If she's trying to get close to you, things are good.. if she seems put off by you, or bored, or disinterested & her body language is such that she's trying to keep her distance from you.. well, not so good.

I'm not sure I potentially want a pure hook-up but that might be what the situation calls for.

Just roll with it and see what happens.

Am I worry to much and really this is a casual date I should have low expectations for?

Yep. You're definitely over thinking & analyzing it. Such is our nature. I just spent this evening over thinking something my crush said that made me jealous of some other guy. Ah well, doesn't change that I really should just focus on myself and my goals and hope for the best in the long run.

As for what time on a Saturday, depends on the bar and what you want. Some places are busy at 5 and dead by 7, others don't even open until later and have a late night crowd. I'd say early evening is best, especially if you're not doing dinner - just drinks afterwards.. so like 7 or so. That way you can have a decent conversation and a few drinks in 2-3 hours and figure out if there's going to be any more to your night. At 9/10pm, there's still plenty of time left in the night to head back to her place for some fun.

You could always ask her what bar she'd recommend since it's in her area, and what time she'd like to meet there. Her choices of place and time might tell you a little about her as well as her intentions for the night, too.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

If she likes nice beer, don't order Coors Light. I would be soooo unimpressed with that. You should drink what you like, but a beer with character.

If you don't know the area, see if you can find a reviews site for local bars. There's also nothing wrong with saying "you're a local, can you suggest a bar where we can chat and get to know each other?"

Drink something strong/cheap shortly before going into the bar, and then don't buy hardly any of their overpriced/ripoff drinks(1-2 beers at most). Bars and clubs are also usually lame in my opinion without some sort of live band playing, to be the main focus of the place. Live music is something most can't replicate at home, so its good reason to be there in first place.

I don't know what an IPA is, but every guy I've ever gone out with has ordered a bud in the bottle. The longnecks. Don't get a glass. A pitcher is too casual as well, so don't do that.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

You aren't actually doing yourself any favors by overthinking this.

Geekonychus, anybody ever tell you that you look like Voltaire the singer? If that's you in your avatar, that is.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com