Manipulation vs being genuine

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There's a lot of websites out there about how to pick up girls and etc,

On the one had, you have the Don Juan and the PUA forums telling you that you need to essentially manipulate girls into liking you while other sites like improvemysocialskills say you just need to be genuine.

Who should we listen to? I'm always torn between the two, especially since DonJuan ideals go against how an aspie thinks but at the same time they seem to show results or at least say they do

Do you think manipulation is bad? Do you like being manipulated?
No aspie, at least no aspie I've ever heard of, likes to be manipulated.
As aspies, most of us are over trusting ourselves. We feel a bit more betrayed by liars and manipulators, more or less, as well.
To consider manipulating ladies, even female nt's that have done so to you, is never justifiable in my opinion.
But no one is stopping you. And on another note, there is a difference between being a PUA love jockey telling nerds how to manipulate women, and a really good friend giving you advice. You have to know what kind of advice you are looking for.

If you are even considering using manipulation to get into any sort of relationship, you don't deserve one. Or rather, you deserve a relationship worthy of the level of disrespect you feel towards the people you would be manipulating: a shallow, dysfunctional one full of lies and broken promises.

+1

This.

Sadly enough, there are a lot of people out there that say that men diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome are the overwhelming majority of people that try and use PUA tactics. You can google that. Some of these websites I've read these opinions on even direct people to this forum and even say that people on here are mostly against PUA. It seems kind of funny that it is brought up.

Like many of us on here who have debated about the benefits of manipulation and the benefits of being Genuine... Don't go down the path of manipulation. It is only going to bring you heartache and pain, and a lot of people not wanting you in their life.
I'd rather be genuine and have people not want me around for that reason... at least that way I can say: 1. I did my best, and 2. I never gave up. Many deceitful manipulators often give up on lady for another because the "brand new toy looked all shiny and clean." Of course, you then break the new toy and want the old one back. Guess what happens?

To be honest, I've manipulated people in the past, including in dating. It never turned out well, nor should it have. I know I don't like being myself manipulated by someone so I can sort of understand intellectually that it's wrong, but I don't feel that it's wrong. I feel a need to control how people respond to me in order to keep myself safe and from being hurt. It's petty and not sustainable, I know that. Is anyone in a similar situation? I'd rather avoid seeing a therapist if possible (for financial and trust reasons) but would nonetheless appreciate some advice.

onewithstrange: Ooooo, that one's a hard one for me, both because I want to protect myself and because I tend to be smarter than the person I'm dating (or at least more sneaky).

Don't rely on your feelings about it--it took me some rather serious arguing with people (and not a few smacks upside the head) to realize that I didn't have to feel like not manipulating. It's not ethical.

And while I may not always like or want to be near the people I'm near (and sometimes, I'm actively resentful of them), it matters immensely to me that I be ethical. I don't always understand (and can't understand) how people will react to what I'm doing. I can't even always understand how I feel and why I'm doing what I'm doing.

But I'd like to like myself, and when I feel I've been 'low', I don't like me. I don't like not liking me.

If that makes sense?

Ditto.

PUA tactics are for tricking women into sleeping with you, they aren't for finding a relationship. I dare to say, it would be nearly imposssible for a healthy functional relationship to emerge from one of those situations.

The idea of WP being associated with PUA is annoying. To be a truly successful PUA you'd either have to be 9-10 (on whatever arbitrary rating scale people like to use) and/or a Sociopath. We do have a few wannabe PUAs here but none of them appear to have had any success with the tactics they parrot. It's possible many of these guys think PUA tactics are thier only option because (based on thier pretty obvious bitterness and disdain for women) being genuine isn't going to get them anywhere.