Dating progress update 2

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I've mentioned in an earlier thread, that I'm making it a goal to go on a date once a week, every week. So far I'm two for two, and I just asked someone out, and I'm waiting to hear back.

I've taken everyone's advice on my previous date, and I'm avoiding the movie date paradigm. Instead, I've asked her to the symphony (she loves the violin), and suggested dining out beforehand.

I'm worried I asked a little soon, since we've not been corresponding very long on OK Cupid, but the concert is the end of the week, so I explained that while it was short notice, I thought she'd like this event....

Keeping my fingers crossed. She seems like a really terrific person!

I'd recommend keeping it far simpler for a first date, maybe coffee or a casual meal. A symphony+dinner is typically going to end up being around 4-5 hours total, and with a total stranger at that. Perfect for a later date, but for a first one it seems a bit intimidating.

Too late, I've already asked her. It wouldn't do to backpedal now, would it? I'm trying dammit.

you are getting better. Don't backpedal, looks weak. The thing is the more and more you ask girls out, the better and better you will get at it. Just like anything else in life.

You may have come across a little too forward with her. I agree that you shouldn't backpedal either as she has the option to propose an alternative. I would take the alternative if she requests it.

Btw, I would recommend taking the flirting styles test if you haven't already. But keep your results to that thread. I will do what I can to help you there if you choose to take it.

She said YES!

But the damned show is sold out of paired seats! Even when I win I lose. Hustling to find an alternate solution, there's no way I'm gonna blow this.

Why not just bring this up with her? Maybe she has an alternative, it may be a good way to get her ideas.

I messaged her. There's another concert date a few days later, hopefully she'll be free. Failing that, I suggested going to hear a Mahler symphony in a couple weeks from now.

But I'm still going to go to the box office theater tomorrow to inquire about tickets. If I have to pay a hundred bucks apiece for tickets, I'll do it. I won't blow my chance to finally find someone.

Don't put so much into thinking she's "the one". It's a first date you might not even get along. You seem really energetic and I understand the excitement but chill and relax it's a first date it's casual for a reason.

I know...I just have real trouble shaking the feeling that I gotta get going on this, or else my best years will be past me. Cripes I'll be 30 in May and I haven't even had a girlfriend yet.

I've just gotta make SOME progress...to know that I"m capable of having a relationship. And it's my New Year's resolution. I want to find someone this year. I don't want to have another holiday season alone.

Then this is "first date" experience. Consider it like that because you might have to go through several before you find someone you get on with well.

The funny thing is I have lots of first date experience. It's the second date I've almost never made it to. And the third date has never happened at all.

Try not pulling out all the stops on the first date. If you show her everything she needs to see on the first date, what else will she need to see after?

The only difference would this makes is maybe getting a second date with her then she loses interest or gets interested after second date (after he shows all cards) instead of losing interest or getting interested after first date.

It does not matter if he shows all cards or plays Mr. Mystery, at the end of the day she either ends up interested or not, how much he should show cards doesn't really matter for most girls, she either 'clicks' with him or not.

Before you can have your first real relationship you need to have your first real breakup. Once you understand that "being in a relationship" isn't important in and of itself you might be able to actually have one. If you go around thinking that this or that person is going to change your life you will project that energy. Think about how you would feel if someone came up to you and said "I'm unhappy and I don't really know you but do your job and make me happy dammit! And a f**k now and again wouldn't be too much to ask!" Thats basically what a relationship means when you are thinking about someone you don't really know. Just take it easy and be fun. That all anyone really wants: someone fun.

^^^This.

^^^Also, this.


Your "I must find someone right away so I'm going to put a bunch of pressure on the first date" business can only hurt your chances.