question about love and dating

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so i notice women on dating sites all want a guy whos live is together ie job, car, house , money

My problem is i was born different

so i get ssi, have a car, live with my family(paying rent to a shared house) i don't have much money
i don't require someone to care for me or pay for me, but yet i don't meet their description ;_; so it seems theres no hope for me and i just get put in the moocher slot for them. I guess i could lie and say i have a job and make tons of money but i just can't bring myself to be dishonest

I have a lot of good qualities that I've been told women like, but they never know cause theres the gate and you need abc to get in and i only have a then there's all the women complaining about the guys who life is together but only used them for sex or message for sex. so idk i guess i just doomed to be alone i don't even have any friends anymore

on another note which forum section would sex related talk go under? i have a concean there for a topic but i don't know where to post.

There's a sub-forum called Adult Autism issues. They post a lot of risqué subject matter in there and it's not for those under 18.

Also, chin up. There are lots of lonely and alone people here on Wrong Planet. You have company in that sense.

So describe yourself as self sufficient, but don't claim to be a provider. You can try to put a bit of a positive spin on your situation without lying vs. however you present yourself now that makes people assume "moocher."

Questions about sex could go in this forum, or the adult issues forum, or the LGBT forum.. depends what the question is where it's most appropriate. This love and dating forum probably gets more traffic, so you could post it here and then if it should be somewhere else a moderator will move it.

for the details of employment i put unemployed and i talk about how i finished school and got my degree and that i'm looking for work. i don't want to put i get ssi as that opens all kinds of doors that i don't want open until further down the road. some alternative choices would be other(but id feel like lying) or "i'd rather not say"(but to me that just seems like another way of saying jobless.

i don't have any money left over from my ssi after bills that i know of (i don't controll that money" my only other income is from a seasonal job once every 3 months after taxes and ssi deductions i make like 80-150 so i dont go out much and fancy dates with dinner and such are not possible as most that money goes to gas, so i like just going on walks or hanging out.

i've probably messaged close to 300 women gotten like 30 repsones and met like 6 all have stopped talking to me or become friends. i've even tried craigslist but women there are way more demanding then on okc/pof

heres what i have for my about me and what i'm doing sections

My self-summary
I graduated from LCC in june. I'm trying to enjoy life and figure out what I'm going do next. I try to be funny(I am some times, others i fail lol) I like firearms and shooting, though i don't hunt because i value life. I'm a caring, loving, passionate person. I'm also very loyal and trusting. I'm looking for someone to love and love me back.

What I’m doing with my life
I finished my Automotive Degree at Lane Community College. Now I am looking for work any work which is an immediate turn off for most women, i guess. Being jobless i don't go out much other then to look for work. I am self efficient in the sense I pay my own bills and rent. but if you're looking for someone to spoil you thing fancy dates and things instead of love and compassion then that's not me for now(not that i wouldn't do both if i could)


i had had 650 dollars saved to see a girl then planned for use of dating, but after spending like $150 on women and getting no where i decided to buy a ps4 so i'd atleast have something to do

online dating is really my only hope as i can't approach women randomly on the street and i never go out unless to meet someone or errands or work. not that i don't enjoy going out but i can't do it alone not even just to go on walks

i guess i'll post in this section than thanks. its not detail more general well kinda alittle of both

I'm hoping to get on SSD myself. For some reason I think my life will improve once I'm on it. I hope I'm right. I hate being not happy.

is SSD like SSI?

its nice cause well i have a house and phone and car and food from food stamps with out it i'd be homeless or dead so it'll probably improve your security atleast

My apologies if this sounds downright mean…it's nothing personal.

I'm afraid your best bet is to seek women more a bit like you, receiving benefits, etc. I don't think you're going to attract the kind of women you really have in mind, UNLESS maybe there's an overachiever out there who would be happy with a man who wouldn't mind staying home and raising the kids, keeping the house picked up and meals prepared, if the dating situation were to lead to a LTR and marriage. I suspect such women don't really hang out on dating websites. So that puts you in a tough position: In order to FIND a woman like that, you need enough money to work the social scene in order to find her.

I don't know a nicer way to say it…but that leaves women who are bums like you!

I say that with love. I have a cousin who went to a private college, was on track for a teaching degree, and fell in love with this loser she met at Walmart. She ended up hooked on meth and pregnant. The worst part, in my opinion at least, was she didn't care. They're both on welfare and chose to have more kids in order to bump up their social security and disability income (supposedly one of the kids is autistic, and I have reason to suspect she taught the kid how to act that way. I really do hope I'm wrong). They have no other form of income; they just go around begging people for money when things get tight.

I'm not calling you a loser… I have a low opinion of my cousin and her husband because there's no reason they couldn't do better. I'm sure your situation is different. My point was just that if it's possible for unemployable losers like my cousin to get into a long-term relationship, it's surely possible with people with legit issues to find the same.

I'm pretty sure you can receive SSI benefits, and also still work at a part-time job for less than 20 hours per-week or something.

You'd still get most of your benefits, and the idiots who say "you're a loser with no job" would hopefully have to STFU. win-win(sort of)

That is incredibly ignorant and mean. The two situations have nothing in common. Just because someone is on federal assistance does not make them a bum. I understand that some people abuse the system but there are a lot of people who need and deserve the help they get. My Mother is on disability. She worked hard her entire life, but now she can't physically do it any more. That does not make her a bum.

I would have done the same thing.
I don't think you mentioned how old you are. It makes a difference if you need advice.

i don't place making money or having a car as a deciding factor in a mate, i can only hope theres women who don't either. i could be with a rich woman with a great car and have her be a horrible person. i care more about the person and who they are.

i get down when people call me a bum or complain about welfare, as for people who complain about that my taxes blah blah, my granpa worked his whole life after serving our nation,so lets just pretend that his taxes he paid are paying for me.
I can only hope i'm not on this for the rest of my life, i enjoy working its just i can't get full time work to get work in my state you have to know the manager, bosses hire friends or friends of friends. and well as a aspie i don't socialize well so hopefully you all see how that's a problem. I have a fancy degree but its useless without knowing someone.

kinda you get the first $85 then half after that mind you all this is before taxes. and i have to give what ssi takes to my mom

i have a seasonal job(got cause my friends mom was the head cashier) its 2 weeks every 3 months usally like 32 -40 hours total so i get like $300 and it ends up like 80-100 by the time all is taken out, meaning i basically make like $3 an hour instead of the $9 and it cost like $20-30 to in gas . so its not the best job but i do get some spending money and i get to talk to people and get out of my house, and its improved my social skills some.



yeah my sister says it was a good choice. i'm still partly stuck on the girl ( i have gifts i wanted to send to her in a box in my closet) i try not to look at it it just makes me sad. she was my first love and the first for alot of feelings

i'll be 26 next month the dreaded month of love really puts a downer on my bday having in the month of love

I work in a grocery store. I started off part-time in the seafood department and now I'm the seafood Manager. Maybe you should apply for a job at a local grocery store in one the perishable departments. It gives you social interaction but also time away from customers. It was a win win for me. Stores are always looking for reliable workers who are content with working part time.


First step is to get rid of those gifts. Never keep something around if it makes you sad. Life is depressing enough all on its own.
Next, don't think about Valentine's day. It's a heavily commercialized "holiday" designed to make retailers a lot of money. It has nothing to do with love. You send $100 dollar on a dozen roses ( that would normally be $30) and then they die in a week.

I'm that last person that should be giving any dating advice, but maybe you should work on find a job first. I get overwhelmed if I try to work on too many things at once and focusing on the job search will give you time to get over your previous relationship.

Id love a job like that even though it dont fit my degree, i doubt i can do the field my degree is in. anyways i apply at stores alot but i always get rejected, i dont know people who work at stores and the one i do Walmart, they removed the do you know someone who works here part. i have over a year experience cashiering but it doesn't seem to matter

i can't though cause of the money i spent on it just throwing it away is wasteful(i should have listend to my family), plus it is also all i have non digital, from that and while it wasn't a relationship it was the happiest part of my life, i just keep in hidden in my closet, i haven't looked at it in over 6 months now.
and now i have a feeling of guilt and that giving gifts is bad thing, women in the movies like it but women in rl don't o.O

i know but it also uses all the signs of love, hearts, flowers, couples doing stuff together, its so hard to escape when shows do specials and people post all their details on Facebook. which i get is their right but i can't help but feel down when i see that others are enjoying what i crave so much but won't have.

tbh i'm more likely to find love then a job, though both are super hard to get, but more so without someone to be with i just can't find the motivation to try to find a job, i'd actually be in worst shape financially if i had a full time job then i am now so that adds to it.

Well, you should do something with your degree, then…

My suggestion is start with the GOAL of opening your own shop.

Here's what you do:
1. Find someone…ANYONE anywhere who is hiring. You might have to be willing to move to make this work.
2. Save up enough money (it could take a while) to buy the kind of equipment you need to do basic maintenance/repair, or whatever it is you do.
3. When you save up that much money, continue to work until you have saved enough money for about 6 months of living expenses.
4. Rent a house or duplex, explain to the owner that you plan to do auto work for people in the driveway/garage/whatever. Make house calls. Make this your after-hours/weekend job.
5. Every little piece of spare change after regular expenses goes into a money market; when you earn enough for it, continue to invest in more equipment that you need to do auto work, purchase it as you are able, and expand your range of services.
6. Save up enough money to lease a garage for a year. Quit your day job, move in.
7. Hire/train some guy(s) to help you out. Enjoy the benefits of being a small business owner.
8. Keep rockin' and rollin' for a few years, build up a massive residual income account, see if your garage owner will give you the option to buy; if not, and things are really going well for you, it's time to upgrade. Don't continue to throw away money in a lease if you don't have to.
9. If things are REALLY going well for you, Rule of Acquisition #45 ("Expand or die").
10. Get involved in civic organizations; give to charities; help with civic/charitable fundraisers; join social clubs; buy a modest 5-bedroom in the 'burbs; get involved in church if you're so inclined (that would be the first thing I'd do, anyway, but that's just me). Be good to those who work for you, buy them concert tickets/NFL, whatever they enjoy. And retirement…don't forget LONG-TERM investing for retirement, no freaking out if the market tanks and your mutuals aren't doing so well--you don't need the money right now, anyway. If you haven't met a girl, gotten married, and made babies yet, it's about time you started. You probably won't have to look far. You should have a good idea who's available from your customer base alone, not to mention taking an active role in the community is going to totally rock your dating pool.

that all sounds good suggestions and i hope this doesn't sound bad, but the problem i soon had and well saw some of when in school is my aspergers causes problems. i tend to be slow, and due to axity i second guess myself and worry about if i did it right and the last one is the noise. its loud annoying and can be more then i can handle, i tend to unwilling blink whenever i had a bang which is troublesome when i have to hit a big hammer on metal stuff repeatably. i also dont hand conflict very well which comes up cause i don't work fast enough or make mistakes. its unfortunate i couldn't have learned this early on.

I still like cars and working on them and while it isn't in the degree field, working at a parts store or being in some other part of the field would be nice. i'd say maybe i could find something that doesn't require speed, but its all speed based as people want their cars done fast and shops get paid by the hour.

i really liked school but maybe i shouldn't have gone to college instead focusing on being a cashier. or maybe trying to find another college degree job i'd been good at. something in a office maybe. or outdoors but not noisy or as speed needed.

Does an automotive degree mean you know how to fix cars?