You know whats not fair?

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It is unfair that who we are as humans, we can't be alone and healthy. Extreme loneliness is dangerous for one's health and can ultimately lead to death. After quitting p0rn (because of the addicting dopamine rush), I feel the urge to want to be start dating. But then, dating costs money, and you know, you could be end up wasting your time, etc.....and worst of all, you lose freedom when you start to date. The more people I know, the more problems arise. Sometimes those people don't start drama. (like family financial stuff, family deaths, etc) Not to mention everyone has "baggage."

So either be lonely and unhealthy OR be with someone, tailor yourself to that person, and give up most of your freedom. (and if you have kids with someone, you have zero freedom for the next 18-30 years. I smoke my legal weed everyday, and it helps a lot but still crosses my mind a decent amount.

I feel like a puppet who has be contemplating this question for quite some time.

I'm not angry. This isn't a rant. It's just frustrating that we are bound to these rules and are forced to become a slave to someone else.

That's life in the Real World.

Yes, Fnord. And in the words of Kris Kristofferson, "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose..."

Slavery is involuntary. Being with another person in a relationship is voluntary (in most societies). It's a trade-off. Both parties have to make concessions.

The problem with us is that we're satisfied with less contact in a relationship. If a relationship is an RX for loneliness, we need smaller doses than NTs. Which makes sense, since I read somewhere that we tend to need less of actual medications, too, for them to be effective.

Yeah I know whats not fair it comes in a cerial box called LIFE!

I had to look at a few Google pages, to get an actual translation, and it means: "In this poem the poets speak about humanity stating that a human being when isolated from others do not thrive."

I understand how a relationship works, and if I got in one, I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad.

Looks like whoever placed us here on Earth really loves to screw with humanity. Looks like I'm going to have to force myself into a relationship that I really don't want, or act like I want, so I can be healthier on the inside and out. Wouldn't it be better to be on your own "island" and not have to worry about people bothering or judging you? Looks like we can't have that. I'm not suicidal or anything, but the game of Life sucks. Whoever created this entire universe needs to improve it vastly.

The last paragraph was a rant.

Life!

It is life as others have said. I do think what gnaws at me is how paradoxical society's attitudes are. You hear that "Oh, you need to be independent" but from the minute you're born, you're surrounded by couples. Whether that's your parents, aunts/uncles, grandparents, etc. And then as you hit your teens and later 20's, it's your siblings, close cousins, and friends too. I never really felt an angry envy towards couples but I do have those thoughts "Man why can't I be like that guy and have a woman who obviously adores me by my side, why am I destined to have a difficult time with this?" I know that comes off as self-pity bs and maybe it is but relationships in NTs especially just come off so easy to me. Obviously not all relationships are created equal and I do enjoy the economic and emotional freedom that being single provides me but at the same time. I just wish the whole relationship thing came more naturally.

i don't see being in a relationship as a loss of freedom but more of a gaining it, at least for me
for being in the prison that is my room 24/7 isn't freedom
i've learned that not all aspies are a like, i for one need more contact not less i reguire more time with someone the time alone, even if we just cuddling while doing our own things. not saying i need to be joined at the hip 24/7 though

like you said LeftWeems it does seem that it comes easy to NT's
like i can't tell if a girl is fliting with me unless spoken or said in text i can only imagine the tons of missed chances i had
on the other side sometimes a girl just being nice confuses me
why does a woman show interest in guy that she doesn't want to date o.O

That's actually a good point about relationships being a gaining of freedom rather than a loss of it. But yes, the NTs make it look so easy. I mean obviously they struggle with relationships too or else we wouldn't have break-ups, divorces, etc but there was just something about hearing my buddy list exes one night. What I think most NTs don't understand about us is how tough the "game" is. I'm with you though. I've never been able to tell flirting directed my way unless it's real blatant. I also don't know how to be much of a flirt myself either so it's a double whammy. I'd say I'm a minority but I'm introverted not by choice but by situation. I'd love to be more outgoing with people.

yeah i'll go to the store with my family some times and after we get out my NT sister is like "you know that girl was flirting with you " my response is like O.o what no you must be mistaken... huh but what do i do run in and ask her out
yeah flirting ..... does staring count? also a few times a lady will stare at me and walk by and i look back an shes looking at me as she walks the opposite way, is this flirting? also it seems dangerous what if she walks into something


yeah my introverted isn't by choice either, i bloom like a flower out with people, i get so happy, then its back to the jail cell. even just going out for grocery's is nice

we need a flirting 101: flirting for aspies

Yeah, it's confusing.. I've gotten a few pointers though. Good way to engage is offering to buy a beer, asking what they're drinking, or something like that. I always felt more intimidated by girls who are in groups especially groups with guys in them because I hate playing the guessing game to find out whether she's with him or not. I feel I've gotten better at this as I'm getting older but I still struggle with it. But I'm with you. I love going out when I can. It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable at all.

ah so would this be in a bar setting? i don't drink. i'm not to the point of approaching random women, i can talk to them if they come to my cash register but that's cause i have to (oh wonder how many have flirted with me if any) and yeah oh go if she is with a guy he might become violent :S that sounds too risky and for a group of girls they probably all laugh Shirvers :S
this is why i do online dating, we know they single their info and now i have data points to talk about.

i mean what do you say to a woman in person? I don't know what they like or are into. even with some women on okc i get to the point where they to share enough in person to know what to ask. maybe this is a sign they aren't interested but then it could also be shyness

but the girls who work at the store find me funny and fun to be around O.o

I have found that engaging in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship (aka to fulfill my own needs and desires) never ended well. When I engaged in a relationship because I was genuinely interested in the person and wanted to get to know them better (aka to fulfill the other person's needs and pursue them), that's when I had healthy, happy relationships.
Just a word of caution since you speak about grudgingly forcing yourself to get into a relationship to avoid feeling lonely.

On a mostly unrelated note, OP isn't a bad looking dude at all. Go out and take advantage of it.

Uhm, am I broken or does it mean that the other people don't understand me. Supply demand is low for me, as a male with a personality that is introverted would require a woman with extroverted personality that is also not really associated with females. Like finding a needle in a haystack.

I don't neccesarily want a relationship anymore although it would be nice. I just want to be inspired, and to be a happy, 'whole' individual.