Hard to find love/what can I do?

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equestriatola
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13 Feb 2014, 4:50 pm

Even though I'm a bit hopeful this Valentine's Day, I still feel a bit frustrated about finding love. A few factors as to why:

1) Isolation. I live literally in the middle of nowhere, and I have to rely on my parent's cars to get around, which I don't mind.

2) My poor (yet improving) social skills. Too many people tend to misunderstand me in many ways.

3) I can be a bit Homer Simpson-like, but sometimes that can be a good thing, though, if you think about it.

Now my positives:

1) I have a crazy sense of humor, that is sometimes above some people's heads.

2) I'm pretty gregarious, and I am known by my friends as having a huge heart.

3) I'm upbeat. There you go.

So, tell me, given what I like (anime/manga, sports, 1980s stuff, game shows, etc.) how can I find a girl anywhere? Where do I start? What can I do? It's time I did something in 2014.


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1401b
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13 Feb 2014, 7:01 pm

This is hard to give advice on.

Generally speaking, in my point of view if you're looking for something it works best to go where ever that something is in greatest population.
If you're looking for shoes go to a big shoe store.
If you're looking for deer go to a forest.
If you're looking for mountain goats go to mountains.
If you're looking for food go to a grocery store.

If you don't go to where there's a reasonably large population of what you're trying to find then your odds of finding it go down.
It's unlikely to find very many fish while at home watching TV. You might need to go to a river or part of the ocean that is likely to have the kind of fish you're looking for.

Are you simply looking for love? Then get a dog or cat and you'll get love.
I'm guessing you mean you're looking for an intimate peer relationship with a human person.

If you're looking for a male relationship, gay bars, or college clubs are likely to have a higher population available than going to most churches. (if you get my point)
If you're looking for a female relationship the reverse would be likely true.
If you're looking for one night stands. learn to dance and go to bars.

The most important factor in a hetro relationship is that you are a man. Try not to lose track of that while writing your romance resume. Everything else is secondary.

Try not to pay too much attention to movie/tv portrayals of what women want or hate -those are all stories designed to entertain -usually by creating conflict between characters until a certain number of movie minutes have gone by, then the writers make things work "perfectly". I'm not talking just romantic movies.

Try not to pay too much attention to what women "say" they want/hate, they don't know any better than we do for ourselves.
It's very easy for us to "say" we want something or hate something until we're faced with a real life situation where things aren't so cut n dried.

Get your own car. Don't cry about it, don't whine about how you can't, this is NOT an option, you must have your own car.
If you cant accomplish getting your own car (no matter how junky as long as it runs) then forget about getting women.
I am not saying that women and cars are in any way related, but as long as you're having to schedule every micro detail of your own transportation at other people's whim it's going to psycho-emotionally emasculate you hardcore.
And the most important thing about a hetro relationship is that you are a man.


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1401b
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13 Feb 2014, 7:15 pm

Oh, BTW you're too late for Valentine's Day. Start looking again around Spring Break.
There's going to be virtually NO women available for the next several weeks so don't take it hard if things aren't popping for you right now.


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equestriatola
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13 Feb 2014, 7:37 pm

I know. It may seem a bit late for Valentine's Day, but I just gotta keep my feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars, as Casey Kasem said.


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equestriatola
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13 Feb 2014, 8:09 pm

The car thing is being worked on, however uphill of a battle it may be.


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vickygleitz
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13 Feb 2014, 9:09 pm

if you are not working and are on disability, you probably should look for someone else on disability. Maybe you could volunteer at some place that serves disabled people.

When you take the girl on a date [don't say date when you ask her] you pay.Make it a fairly traditional date. Make sure you feed her Also. A movie, symphony, something you can enjoy together without too much talking.

After the first date,put together creative inexpensive dates [google for a ton of ideas]

Okay, here you are falling in love.do not tell her right away. You will scare her off. Do not be clingy. That is creepy. do not tell her your wedding plans. one. that's creepy. Two, the wedding is more the brides day. GO SLOW. SLOWER THAN THAT. AND SLOWER YET
cultivate some varied interests and learn something quirky that will make your differentness cool. For example. learn to make balloon animals. a few magic tricks, juggling, sword swallowing, whatever. Make sure you are good at whatever it is before you show a girl you might be interested in.



equestriatola
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13 Feb 2014, 9:18 pm

[quote="vickygleitz"]if you are not working and are on disability, you probably should look for someone else on disability. Maybe you could volunteer at some place that serves disabled people.

When you take the girl on a date [don't say date when you ask her] you pay.Make it a fairly traditional date. Make sure you feed her Also. A movie, symphony, something you can enjoy together without too much talking.

After the first date,put together creative inexpensive dates [google for a ton of ideas]

Okay, here you are falling in love.do not tell her right away. You will scare her off. Do not be clingy. That is creepy. do not tell her your wedding plans. one. that's creepy. Two, the wedding is more the brides day. GO SLOW. SLOWER THAN THAT. AND SLOWER YET
cultivate some varied interests and learn something quirky that will make your differentness cool. For example. learn to make balloon animals. a few magic tricks, juggling, sword swallowing, whatever. Make sure you are good at whatever it is before you show a girl you might be interested in.[/quote

All great ideas. :)


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FrankiDelano
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13 Feb 2014, 9:38 pm

In my view it all comes down to luck. You can make yourself a better person, you can find similar interest in another, hell you can even have your own car, but in the end love, and my opinion of true love, is about equivalent to luck. That doesn't mean it won't happen though, and I think your chances within the 50-80 years of life you have left are pretty good. What you decide from here on out, and what you think will make you a better person will increase those chances.



vickygleitz
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13 Feb 2014, 11:38 pm

if you are not working and are on disability, you probably should look for someone else on disability. Maybe you could volunteer at some place that serves disabled people.

When you take the girl on a date [don't say date when you ask her] you pay.Make it a fairly traditional date. Make sure you feed her Also. A movie, symphony, something you can enjoy together without too much talking.

After the first date,put together creative inexpensive dates [google for a ton of ideas]

Okay, here you are falling in love.do not tell her right away. You will scare her off. Do not be clingy. That is creepy. do not tell her your wedding plans. one. that's creepy. Two, the wedding is more the brides day. GO SLOW. SLOWER THAN THAT. AND SLOWER YET
cultivate some varied interests and learn something quirky that will make your differentness cool. For example. learn to make balloon animals. a few magic tricks, juggling, sword swallowing, whatever. Make sure you are good at whatever it is before you show a girl you might be interested in.



equestriatola
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14 Feb 2014, 1:05 am

Right. However, I disagree about the outdated notion of the wedding bring the bride's day exclusively. I think it should be about the both of us. That, and it will double as my farewell from Seattle party.


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equestriatola
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14 Feb 2014, 11:46 am

I may have to start planning my farewell party soon....... (not on WP, but for my friends in Seattle, as I move to Los Angeles)


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Eureka13
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14 Feb 2014, 12:19 pm

Be happy with yourself and by yourself. I know it's a cliche, but if you don't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you?



equestriatola
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15 Feb 2014, 3:47 am

^ Yeah, thanks. I wonder how things will improve for me once I move to L.A.?


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TheGoggles
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15 Feb 2014, 3:55 am

Just out of curiosity, do you actually have any connections in Los Angeles, or do you just believe somehow that moving there is going to change everything (as opposed to any other major city)?



equestriatola
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15 Feb 2014, 4:00 am

^ I have about a couple.


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sly279
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15 Feb 2014, 11:47 pm

vickygleitz wrote:
if you are not working and are on disability, you probably should look for someone else on disability. Maybe you could volunteer at some place that serves disabled people.


this I don't get how, as I imagine like me others on disability don't want people to know, be if for fear of being attacked or shame. I'm both.