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Have you experienced similar? (only answer if you are male)
yes 12%  12%  [ 8 ]
no 88%  88%  [ 57 ]
Total votes : 65

SoulcakeDuck
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05 Feb 2014, 11:17 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
SoulcakeDuck wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
Rape scenes are fairly common in the BDSM scene, but they are negotiated by both parties first and limits are set and a safeword is used. Some people take it pretty far, even where the girl is fighting back and kicks and hits the guy. I knew a guy who was into BDSM and he was particularly fond of rape scenes and he liked them pretty heavy like that. However, he wouldn't ever actually rape anybody and never wanted to ACTUALLY rape a girl, he just liked having really rough sex where he held her down. He was an EMT and a fireman and had been on calls where somebody was actually raped and he said that the difference between real rape and a SM scene are night and day. In fact, in a rape scene, the girl can put a stop to it at any second just by saying the safe word.

About the original post though, urges to actually rape somebody aren't normal. I'd seriously get some help about that.


The girls go berserk often when smacked in the face during a SM rape scene because the dude broke the deal. It's always fun to watch, especially when the girl can fight, there are a few porn actresses who can really mess a guy up.

Night and day indeed. Porn is fictitious stuff where as you said there are plenty of signs and rules to abort mission. Real rape is real, scratch marks, broken nails, drawing blood, real tears.

I enjoy rough stuff as well, but just as porn we both know what's up.


Real life rape is for the very unstable and sad. Even if a semi disturbed individual would commit rape it would damage him as well after the act I believe.
You must be hyper cold and super damaged to rape and feel cool about it.


Yeah, you negotiate everything before you start when you do the BDSM scene. Some girls are ok with being slapped in the face and expect to be able to hit the guy like that too. If both parties are ok with that, then it's all good but most of the time from what I know, in real life, when two average people are just doing a rape scene and it's not on camera or porn or anything, people tend to forget some of the more important points they should have brought up before it started. Saying "tackle me, throw me down and rape me please but I'm going to fight back" rarely goes off that smoothly. Somebody is going to hit somebody else too hard then there will be hurt feelings and all that and I actually did hear of one time there was a messup about a safeword and that girl did go to the cops about it. Not good for either person.


Indeed, amateurs. And most don't even know how to use force in sex right. They just say they are into all kinds of rough stuff, ropes and s**t and then when they meet up, he has no f*****g idea what he's doing and just hurts the girl or he's a very very angry man and hurts the girl. Point, someone is getting hurt and not in a sexy way.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Feb 2014, 2:41 am

I find the whole bdsm disgusting and it was invented to appease those with violent/forced/rape fantasies in a consent way, slight spanking doesn't count.



The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Feb 2014, 2:45 am

Quote:
safeword
A word serving as a prearranged and unambiguous signal to end an activity, such as between a dominant and submissive sexual couple


8O That's new to me, like the dominant doesn't know when to stop by his/her own?

Her: Fried ch.... fried chic...

Him suffocating her: I can't hear you b***h! Speak up!! MUhahaha!

Her: Frie.... (dies)



bleh12345
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06 Feb 2014, 2:51 am

There is lots of real rape in the BDSM scene. The safe word is often ignored, and that's the moment it becomes rape. No, not everyone is like this, but there ARE real rapists involved in that scene. It's far more common than one would think. Also, because it's BDSM, it can be harder to prove there was an actual rape. :/



MadeUnderground
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06 Feb 2014, 3:44 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I find the whole bdsm disgusting and it was invented to appease those with violent/forced/rape fantasies in a consent way, slight spanking doesn't count.


Does simple restrain count? Like, one person being tied to the bed, or handcuffed, or ducttaped or whatever somehow restrained to the bed, or table.. or couch.. or whatever.

Does that count as BDSM?

I've always been confused where the line of some kinky play crosses over to the BDSM area...



leafplant
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06 Feb 2014, 4:01 am

I will never for the life of me understand why people don't think to themselves that if they are turned on by forcing themselves on someone or by suffering of someone that obviously points out to a very messed up mentality and they should stay the heck away from other people. Before we all got civlised as f**k, we used to put down unsafe or feeble members of the tribe. We still do actually, some places still have death sentence and sometimes euthanasia is practiced legally when vegetative state is all that persists. Imagine if we had someone rounding up and putting down everyone who was into sado masochism, though, it would get rid of half the population, maybe? It always profoundly disturbs me when i see someone enjoying the suffering of others, not necessarily in a sexual context. I have experienced it by proxy and know it is like a drug addiction
the only way is to stop permanently forever and never ever let yourself slip once.

I have tried the hands tied to the bed thing couple of times as well as spanking, it made me feel abused/ like I was abusing someone which i suppose is the point but i didn't enjoy it. My partner at the time seemed scarily joyful about the prospect of me restrained and helpless. I didn't care for that at all.



MadeUnderground
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06 Feb 2014, 4:19 am

leafplant wrote:
I will never for the life of me understand why people don't think to themselves that if they are turned on by forcing themselves on someone or by suffering of someone that obviously points out to a very messed up mentality and they should stay the heck away from other people. Before we all got civlised as f**k, we used to put down unsafe or feeble members of the tribe. We still do actually, some places still have death sentence and sometimes euthanasia is practiced legally when vegetative state is all that persists. Imagine if we had someone rounding up and putting down everyone who was into sado masochism, though, it would get rid of half the population, maybe? It always profoundly disturbs me when i see someone enjoying the suffering of others, not necessarily in a sexual context. I have experienced it by proxy and know it is like a drug addiction
the only way is to stop permanently forever and never ever let yourself slip once.

I have tried the hands tied to the bed thing couple of times as well as spanking, it made me feel abused/ like I was abusing someone which i suppose is the point but i didn't enjoy it. My partner at the time seemed scarily joyful about the prospect of me restrained and helpless. I didn't care for that at all.



Well, I want to be the one that is tied up. However, I have never actually tried it. Perhaps when I do, I will feel the same way as you. Although for me the point isn't to feel like I'm being abused as I don't want anything that even remotely resembles violence/torture/whatever done to me. The main point for me would be the surprise and anticipation.

I just really like surprises.


P.S. I'm so sorry about me never getting back to you on the mp3 thing. I started doing it and then I've gotten really busy with some things going on in my life at the moment, but I haven't forgotten. I hope you can forgive me.



leafplant
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06 Feb 2014, 4:31 am

Oh lol, that's ok. I figured you decided not to. I understand. Its not a big deal to me but I know it is to you so no worries.

as for surprise element, that is quite interesting. I hate surprises. Figures.



OliveOilMom
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06 Feb 2014, 4:33 am

leafplant wrote:
I will never for the life of me understand why people don't think to themselves that if they are turned on by forcing themselves on someone or by suffering of someone that obviously points out to a very messed up mentality and they should stay the heck away from other people. Before we all got civlised as f**k, we used to put down unsafe or feeble members of the tribe. We still do actually, some places still have death sentence and sometimes euthanasia is practiced legally when vegetative state is all that persists. Imagine if we had someone rounding up and putting down everyone who was into sado masochism, though, it would get rid of half the population, maybe? It always profoundly disturbs me when i see someone enjoying the suffering of others, not necessarily in a sexual context. I have experienced it by proxy and know it is like a drug addiction
the only way is to stop permanently forever and never ever let yourself slip once.

I have tried the hands tied to the bed thing couple of times as well as spanking, it made me feel abused/ like I was abusing someone which i suppose is the point but i didn't enjoy it. My partner at the time seemed scarily joyful about the prospect of me restrained and helpless. I didn't care for that at all.


Oh, well then. If you tried it once and it made you feel abused and victimized then it's obviously evil and we should all be rounded up and killed. WTF????? I personally like being thrown down on the bed and held down while a man who knows what the hell he's doing goes to town there. It's actually a kind of nice feeling, because I don't do the whole violent takedown scene with it. I like being tied up. Or held down. And I'm sure you want to say how messed up in the head I am over that, but you know what? Go ahead and say it, I don't give a good goddamn. So you just want everybody else to have boring sex lives now? Because you don't like it any other way? So tell us then Yoda, having sex how do it we do? Cause you OBVIOUSLY know all about it, and what is and isn't healthy. Come on, Dr Ruth, balls up and tell two consenting people what they can and can't do in the bedroom.

You actually just proposed killing people who like sex in a different way than you do. Read up, you'll see what you did there. Are you by any chance Southern Baptist, cause thats how a whole lot of them feel about gay people.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Feb 2014, 6:40 am

MadeUnderground wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I find the whole bdsm disgusting and it was invented to appease those with violent/forced/rape fantasies in a consent way, slight spanking doesn't count.


Does simple restrain count? Like, one person being tied to the bed, or handcuffed, or ducttaped or whatever somehow restrained to the bed, or table.. or couch.. or whatever.

Does that count as BDSM?

I've always been confused where the line of some kinky play crosses over to the BDSM area...


Basically yes but only very mild at this stage, real further bdsm involves pain, real pain.



salamandaqwerty
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06 Feb 2014, 7:11 am

Whatever consenting adults get up to in their sex lives is entirely up to them. It takes a considerable effort of communication, trust and vulnerability to express what you may sexually desire. If you enjoy bdsm and engage in it consentingly then have fun go wild, have a blast! It is when the element of consent is removed from the dynamic, then it is damaging and can leave life long damaging issues for the victim. There is a huge difference in talking openly with people you trust about kinks you might like to explore, and calculating the most effective way of removing any possibility of consent by planning to rape someone.


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06 Feb 2014, 7:23 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
leafplant wrote:
I will never for the life of me understand why people don't think to themselves that if they are turned on by forcing themselves on someone or by suffering of someone that obviously points out to a very messed up mentality and they should stay the heck away from other people. Before we all got civlised as f**k, we used to put down unsafe or feeble members of the tribe. We still do actually, some places still have death sentence and sometimes euthanasia is practiced legally when vegetative state is all that persists. Imagine if we had someone rounding up and putting down everyone who was into sado masochism, though, it would get rid of half the population, maybe? It always profoundly disturbs me when i see someone enjoying the suffering of others, not necessarily in a sexual context. I have experienced it by proxy and know it is like a drug addiction
the only way is to stop permanently forever and never ever let yourself slip once.

I have tried the hands tied to the bed thing couple of times as well as spanking, it made me feel abused/ like I was abusing someone which i suppose is the point but i didn't enjoy it. My partner at the time seemed scarily joyful about the prospect of me restrained and helpless. I didn't care for that at all.


Oh, well then. If you tried it once and it made you feel abused and victimized then it's obviously evil and we should all be rounded up and killed. WTF????? I personally like being thrown down on the bed and held down while a man who knows what the hell he's doing goes to town there. It's actually a kind of nice feeling, because I don't do the whole violent takedown scene with it. I like being tied up. Or held down. And I'm sure you want to say how messed up in the head I am over that, but you know what? Go ahead and say it, I don't give a good goddamn. So you just want everybody else to have boring sex lives now? Because you don't like it any other way? So tell us then Yoda, having sex how do it we do? Cause you OBVIOUSLY know all about it, and what is and isn't healthy. Come on, Dr Ruth, balls up and tell two consenting people what they can and can't do in the bedroom.

You actually just proposed killing people who like sex in a different way than you do. Read up, you'll see what you did there. Are you by any chance Southern Baptist, cause thats how a whole lot of them feel about gay people.


yeah, look at that, we have different opinions about stuff.



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06 Feb 2014, 10:34 am

bleh12345 wrote:

God forbid people with OCD tell their thoughts here. I've had thoughts of brutally murdering someone. I've had thoughts about rape, raping people, molesting children, and others. Yet, I find these things horrible, similarly to how the OP finds rape horrible. Now, I've never calculated the risks of doing such a crime as the OP did, true. However, I DO know of people with OCD who were terrified of killing someone. These would be people they loved. I even knew a person with OCD who had obsessive thoughts about grabbing the knife, how they could do it, if they would get caught, etc. Naturally, this person was scared of themselves. They eventually never left their room for years until they received help.

As someone with OCD, aspects of this sound very familiar too me. I would never share any of these thoughts with others unless I was truly worried I would act on them and I know I won't.



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06 Feb 2014, 10:39 am

salamandaqwerty wrote:
Whatever consenting adults get up to in their sex lives is entirely up to them. It takes a considerable effort of communication, trust and vulnerability to express what you may sexually desire. If you enjoy bdsm and engage in it consentingly then have fun go wild, have a blast! It is when the element of consent is removed from the dynamic, then it is damaging and can leave life long damaging issues for the victim. There is a huge difference in talking openly with people you trust about kinks you might like to explore, and calculating the most effective way of removing any possibility of consent by planning to rape someone.
This^^^

I get some of the appeal of BDSM but not enough to really embrace it. The occasional whips and chains are ok but I'm a gentle person by nature.



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06 Feb 2014, 3:52 pm

I'm not quite sure why you've made this thread if you don't experience the issue anymore. You say that since you've had sex, the previous urges have ceased to occur. I'm sceptical of your claim and think that you've probably made this thread because you still have those urges and want some affirmation that it is indeed, not normal. That,. or you want negative attention for thoughts you have or have had in the past. If you were a genuine person, remorseful for their thoughts, you wouldn't be posting it here without a hint of shame. I think I agree with other posters in this thread in that you need to see someone regarding this issue. Especially worrying is the fact that you imply you only didn't rape on various occasions because of the risk of being caught.



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06 Feb 2014, 4:03 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
I'm not quite sure why you've made this thread if you don't experience the issue anymore. You say that since you've had sex, the previous urges have ceased to occur. I'm sceptical of your claim and think that you've probably made this thread because you still have those urges and want some affirmation that it is indeed, not normal. That,. or you want negative attention for thoughts you have or have had in the past. If you were a genuine person, remorseful for their thoughts, you wouldn't be posting it here without a hint of shame. I think I agree with other posters in this thread in that you need to see someone regarding this issue. Especially worrying is the fact that you imply you only didn't rape on various occasions because of the risk of being caught.


Good points.

It happens that people post answers only by reading the first post by the OP.
You don't need to read every post but check the pages and see if the OP has more posts that may change the flow of conversation and insight to the issue at hand.

Read his post on page 6 as well.


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Last edited by SoulcakeDuck on 08 Feb 2014, 1:25 am, edited 2 times in total.