what to do if you're urgly

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so from what i gather there is a universally considered ugly by all women.

so what should we people in this category do, die? i guess in more acient times we'd bee killed off by the good looking males, but now that we live in a more civilized time and being as suicide and dying in combat isnt a option i honest don't know what other then waiting for a slow death are we to do.

oh to been alive in the early 1940s

Some of the least physically attractive people find someone who loves them. I wouldn't let my looks run my life, though I know that's easier said than done-- I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to impossible standards in every aspect of my life. It makes for incredible anxiety. I can't STAND not being good at something, I get so self-conscious and down on myself about it. But don't assume that just because you don't fit the supposed "ideal" that you don't have every right and reason to be here and experience love.

i wish it was just me being a perfectionist, but its not with all the times i've been rejected then the comments i got on my amiugrly post, i'm just ugly and while i'm not creepy or freakish ugly it doesn;t mean i'll ever get someone to love me

i wish i wasn't here i almost died once when i was a baby and i tend to think i was meant to die at the same time i don't want to die but i do. i mean 40-60 years of waiting to die is aweful and i imagine ill be crazy by then . i can't affor plastic surgey, wouldn't know how to change my face to look better, and would somone loving me for a fake face even be love

i think it all boils down to whether you believe you deserve love or not. if you feel you deserve it, you will most likely find it. if you feel that because of your looks (or for whatever other reason) you don't deserve it, you probably won't. i feel the latter most of the time. i think the only solution is to change our opinion of ourselves. easier said than done, of course.

Exercise, eat healthy, pay attention to your dental hygiene, wear clothes that suit you, improve your posture and so on.

I'm pretty sure I could give Quasimodo or an ogre a run for his money when it comes to my facial ugliness, but it still amazes me how quickly guys on here give up. Humans are programmed to find mates with the best genes, and looks are used to judge the genes quality. It works both ways. It's the reason why women would rather be alone or turn to each other, than date and have sex with an ugly man. Their revulsion to men's bad looks is so visceral, that it cannot be overridden. Not unlike what a straight man would think of being sexual with another man. (As opposed to women, who French kiss each other all the time nowadays.) Hence, all these "I'm ugly, and no woman wants me" threads.

Men, on the other hand, if in a bind, will have no problem being with a woman they're not attracted to. (Although they'd still prefer to be with a woman they are attracted to.) The key word is "prefer". Men's instinct to seek out the best genes can be overridden. Use that! Lower your standards! If someone shows interest in you, and she's not model-looking (to word it nicely), accept that as a blessing from god/universe/whatever, and don't question it. Give her a chance. Don't worry about how you'll introduce your date to people, don't worry about what your friends will think, and don't worry about whether or not you "can do better".

Quite likely, she'll grow on you over time, and you could end up in a great relationship. You'll get experience, physical affection, and sex. She'll be better off with you, that with some NT pretty-boy who'll only hump her and dump her, if not treat her like crap right off the bat. Since some plain-looking women were treated poorly in their lives, chances are, they will not be attracted to jerks who do just that. (And jerks usually don't date them, because "they can do better", completely eliminating competition for you!) Also, unlike traditionally attractive women, she'll appreciate your nice guy qualities. Even if you break up after a month or so, you both will still come out of the relationship better than when you came in.

In case anyone questions my motives, I do practice what I preach. All my relationships were obtained this way. Did I secretly prefer to be with a traditionally attractive woman? Kind of. Am I fully aware that there's no possibility of that, ever? Yes! To this day at age 30, the most I ever got from an attractive woman was a hug (at least outside of cruises; it's a whole different ballgame there). And yet I'm not a virgin.

Would you please define this supposed standard of ugliness?

I feel ya man. I don't know how to really handle certain situations. (especially if you don't know if the girl is being nice to you, or shows interest in you) But people like us, choose to die a little inside each night. I guess we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

There are people who have facial tumors and spouses.

Aspie1
I don't go after the model like women, but even the plain jane?? to fat and i don't find attractive , call me urgly and have a big list of requirements, i guess my generation grew up being told lies by their family so they believe they entitled to a great looking guy just cause they born a woman. it bathers me really that they have these high standards but expect a guy who meets them to lower his high standards when he has 1000s of hot women to chose from either that or they get upset when said guy only uses them for sex.
i find 95% of women attractive so its not so i don't have to lower what standards i have only seen like maybe 10-20 women i wouldn't date out of the 2000 women i've met or looked at their profiles.

the only women that ever said i look good were liars (not in the sense that i think they are cause they look good but as in they lied about a s**t ton of other stuff, so it throws out anything else they said)

i've had women tell me that i'm their
perfect man but that i'm urlgy so it won't work out, so i meet 99% of thier requirements but can't do it

see this gets it perfectly , i know this so that leaves what are we ugly men to do, even urgly women get guys , but ugly guys are left to die alone though i guess it should be more about urgly good guys, as ugly as holes can manipulate women to be with them. i know some a**holes who aren't any better looking them me who get girls if just for a little while. and while i guess their proposed ideal that i just go pick up drunk girls at bar is them trying to be helpful, i don't want to rape someone(which is what that is) nor do i just want sex.

Kurgan

i eat as healthy as i can on $150 a month for food, and i can't afford a gym and i actually find with my size i'm not super obese like some men and i"ll always have a belly due to my body type, i wouldn't mind being 250 again but that was hard to maintain.
shouldn't i be loved for who and how i am just as the women want to be loved for who they are?

i_wanna_blue

i honestly thought and still kinda think i do deserve love, i'm kind,sweet, romantic, caring, non violent, passionate, i always thought i'd find someone given my qualits but i quickly learned differently. if i still didn't have hope i wouldn't be on the sites messaging women who probably won't reply given my looks.

DarkRain
gather 10 girls and sit them down with pictures and you're quickly see that while their definition of attractive will vary slightly they'll all agree on whos ugly

Deuterium
but were they a couple before or after the tumors, women will stay with a guy who becomes ugly cause at that point the have a emotional connection, but they won't try to build a connection with someone who is already ugly


FunkMasterMike
i don't choose to die a little inside it just happens to the point where i don't enjoy the holidays anymore, i use to love them they were my favorite part of the year now it just makes me more sad each year.

You are grabbing for reasons to hold on to your idea of hopelessness; the fact that they have partners at all should be highly promising regarding what people will physically tolerate.

how so? my statement is logical. its the same as a guy sticking with a woman after she suffers burns to her face, at that point in their relationship emotional connection outweighs looks, same with people staying together after one of them gets fat. i have no doubt that in those cases love beats looks.

however i'm more concerned with the begging of a relationship, where looks beat love that don't exists.

though there are also people who will leave a relationship when someones looks change

i guess its more of a , i'm urgly and i lack the social skills to win a girl over in person that i randomly met. so i stuck with dating sites where women can enforce their looks over personality policies. whereas if i met them in person they might find me not super attractive but my personality could shine thru and win them over eventually making them feel i'm more attractive then i am.

Hench why my a**hole ugly friend can get a girl he is able to socially woo them to compensate for his bad looks.

IDK, not all good-looking people are so shallow.

And if you seriously are so physically unattractive that women can't stand you but you are a likable person, why not talk to a blind woman? I hope that isn't offensive, I just think if you didn't have the anxiety over your looks present you could find something good for you.

they can stand me as a friend, someone to talk to and complain to and hear complaints from. I'm not grotesque just not attractive.
and i thought about it but a blind woman wouldn't meet the other needs i have in a gf i hope that doesn't sound bad :S i don't think less of blind people just almost all my hobbies are sight based and i connect throw shared activities. so there wouldn't be much i could do as a couple.

i'd offer to share my picture but i to afraid to put it up in public again after reddit.

I understand. It might be hard for a person who is most visually inclined to feel connected to someone who relies on other senses. I am a painter and most of my hobbies are visual as well, though I have both deaf and blind friends.