Should I just give up?

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So the girl, the one with a boyfriend, it seemed like we were growing closer over the year, but I haven't seen her in almost three months. We go to the same school, but have classes on opposite days of the week. We try are hardest to see each other, but she likes to hang out in a shit-hole town about 50 miles away, she works full time, and I my self am looking for a full time job, a car, and driver's license. Oh and on top of all that my phone has been turned off cause my mother and I can't pay the bill, so I have no way to contact her, except for facebook witch she hardly ever logs onto.

I've just got to thinking is it really worth the insanity, to try and have a shot with this girl, with overwhelming odds not in my favor? The more I think about the harder time I have justifying right and wrong in this situation. I was really hoping by now to have met a nice girl who lives in this county by now, but everyone I've met doesn't want to seem to give me a chance. I guess that's my fault though for beating around the bush and essentially being a giant douche when trying to communicate my feelings.

So I come to the question: should I just give up? Not just with her, but with all women? I've been trying really hard to improve myself in all aspects, but without someone to demonstrate this improvement to then what's the bloody point! I feel like I'm ranting so I'll stop here, and ask for your advice.

Giving up on love just because of one relationship (that hasn't even really gone sour yet) really isn't the way to go, if you ask me.

But to be honest, that's a question that only you can answer. Do you think you could be happy alone? Some people can, some people can't, but that's a judgment you have to make on your own.

I guess if I had something to keep me entertained while I was alone.

why are you chasing unavailable women to begin with

What do you like doing?
If you were completely uninterested in relationships, how would you spend your time?

^ For real.

You wouldn't understand, to put in simple terms she has told me she doesn't love her boyfriend.



I don't really have any career goals right now, and the only two things I seem to be good at are writing and studying history (which is my current major). If I was completely uninterested in a relationship then I guess I'd either dedicate my life to being a Historian, or a story writer for video games. Only problem is I'm not completely uninterested in a relationship and I long for female companionship.

So you do have things that you like doing. Why not spend more time on them instead of hurting yourself by pining after a relationship?

I try to I really do, but it's the hurting myself that is keeping for me doing that. Believe me I wish depression where like an on/off switch I could have turned to off cept when I really needed to feel it. I have passions I have goals in life, but it almost seems useless to have these goals and no one to share them with, no one to succeed with, travel the world with, get rich with, fail with, go through hard times with. People have done it before, but I don't think I am one of these people. I really want to meet a nice girl, do nice things for her, talk to her, go out places with her, make love to her, everything I think every human being should experience at least once in there life before they die. I don't want to be one of the unlucky ones who dies without ever having lived in the first place.

People who are together don't necessarily have to be at the "love" stage yet, but may feel that they could develop into that point if given time.

If she seems to be relatively disinterested in him altogether and waiting for someone else 'better' to come along, does her staying with him not make you question how coherent her psychology is, and if she'd just do the same to you?

It is suggestive of disloyalty, to be half-maybe-pursuing someone else outside of her relationship and telling the person (you) that she doesn't love who she is with.

Depression does suck.
But you don't need a nice girl to go out and travel and do things with. You can do all that by yourself. Don't limit your life: there's no rule saying that you need someone by your side to enjoy life. Sure, companionship can enhance the experience, but surely going out and doing what you want, even if it's on your own, is better than sitting there for ages doing nothing because you don't think you can do stuff by yourself?

WARNING WARNING WARNING ALERT DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

People who stay in relationships when they're not in love with someone and have no intention of being in love with that someone are bad news. Imagine how he'd feel. She's being dishonest, whether it's to you about not loving him or to him by pretending to love him when she doesn't.

Just don't worry about her, pursue other interests, make different friends (male and female), join a club or society, if she makes a clean break with him THEN comes to you, then you know it's all good.

Oh, and make sure you get a cat. Because cats are awesome and great company.

This is the single best piece of advice anyone has ever given anyone in this forum. Ever.

Aww shucks

I don't really know if any of that is ture... in fact a lot of it is false. the only reason she is even in a relationship is cause much like me she just doesn't want to be alone. I doubt there is any coherent psychology involved as she herself is a psychologist.



Don't worry about her? Ok uh "hey brain can you just forget the years of dedication, and time you already put into trying to build a relationship with this girl? What!? You can't cause that is the definition of being of a psychopath!? Well ok at least I tried."

Come on man, "don't worry about her," "pursue your own interests," you couldn't have thought of something a little more original, then the basic spoon fed crap I've been getting.

Granted I would be willing for her to make a clean brake for him, but that's a very slow process.

I mean thank you all for helping and trying to advise me, but I'm afraid all I see are flaws in your advice.

PS. No cats I hate cats.

Uh...

Seriously mate, WTF? I don't expect your emotions for her to die out overnight, but saying it's psychopathic to try and get over someone?! I got over my ex, does that make me a psychopath?

Maybe you're constantly hearing this advice because, oh, I dunno, it's a good idea? It's not the easy idea by a long shot, but hanging around her relationship waiting for her to monkey-swing to you is a bad idea. I've had guys I adored get new girlfriends, the first time this happened I did exactly what you're doing now and got my heart ripped out.

It sucks when you can't have the person you want, and it's a hard, hard process to pull yourself away from them. But when there is a third party involved, there's bound to be trouble.