Alpha aspie
What are they like, and how are they different from neurotypical "alphas"?
I dug up this quote which I found somewhere:
"An alpha Aspie is an Aspie who overcame his depression, looks, social phobia (to an extent), and generally sorted his things out and came into terms with his oddities while remaining a bit aloof and generally eccentric."
Could someone elaborate? Does he not care even if his un-restricted behavior annoys some people, though he probably remembers some basic courtesy?
I've been struggling between forcing myself to fit in and between just being myself and cannot come to a conclusion on what is the best way to be. Or should we just aim for meeting similar people who share the same interests, and try to avoid socializing with anyone else for the sake of avoiding burning out?
I think this is what I am like somewhat. I do not experience social phobia, and never have. The fact that I do not fear socialisation, and am unaware for the most part of exactly how bad I am at it is one of the reasons my partner suspected that my behaviour would be accounted for by an ASD and not social anxiety.
I experience a lot of anxiety, but it's all internally directed anxiety. I don't really fear other people.
I've been told that I make too much eye-contact. Apparently the staring combined with my almost complete lack of social self awareness and social inhibitions when it comes to most topics (and certainly when it comes to nuanced ideas of politeness) make people think I am very confident. I have a naturally loud and mostly monotone voice, which adds to their conclusion that I am confident. Plus I make inappropriate 'self complimenting' statements, which to me are neutral facts, that come across to over people as me being arrogant. Although contrary to the statement I have not come to terms with myself, because I find it incredibly hard to identify myself and differentiate oddness from normality, and am still very depressed and anxious.
I would say the main difference between myself and Neurotypical alpha males is that they seem to be aware of their status while talking, and use their status to make others do things. They also employ lots of finely honed socially manipulative tools and techniques. Also, the likeability factor. Neurotypical Alphas seem much, much better at getting people to like them. I, however, am very bad at that.
So Sheldon Cooper with the inability to keep eye contact?
I dug up this quote which I found somewhere:
"An alpha Aspie is an Aspie who overcame his depression, looks, social phobia (to an extent), and generally sorted his things out and came into terms with his oddities while remaining a bit aloof and generally eccentric."
Could someone elaborate? Does he not care even if his un-restricted behavior annoys some people, though he probably remembers some basic courtesy?
I've been struggling between forcing myself to fit in and between just being myself and cannot come to a conclusion on what is the best way to be. Or should we just aim for meeting similar people who share the same interests, and try to avoid socializing with anyone else for the sake of avoiding burning out?
One can have no fear of socialization and still be socially oblivious and unaware that they are behaving in a way that is unattractive, one can have a fear of socialization and that can be helpful if they face it because being socially concious will allow them to learn from their mistakes. There is no real standard of how a person should be, simply how they face situations and respond. I don't know why it says overcoming looks because well being on the spectrum has no effect on a person physically or aesthetically.
On that note, having depression, social anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder doesn't make you any less of a person in my opinion so it really depends on what you value and how you define yourself.
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Well, the world "alpha" does bring other connotations to that term, but going by the definition you gave, it could be like striking a balance between successfully fitting in society at large, and in a certain social circle, while not trying too hard and losing one's personality in the attempt. Sounds good.
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I thought it was a word invented by men to describe other men who are more successful at "getting" sex, and the "lifestyle" they imagine such an amazing man to have?
(As opposed to the Nice Guy, who instead sulkenly-seethes over such injustices.)
I don't know of any scientific legitimacy either has, at least not when discussing humans.
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So if you are not depressed, in good shape, and are not scared of social interactions then you are an alpha aspie? Along with happily being yourself... Seems pretty simple
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Well you can go with that if you want.
I thought an alpha was just a person who seemed domineering (sometimes, but not always, in the bad way). If there is a girl who hangs out in a place full of guys and seems to share a position of power with them, I have heard other women refer to that woman as an "alpha female". They are afraid to join in the group and potentially challenge her position as the dominant female.
"An alpha Aspie is an Aspie who overcame his depression, looks, social phobia (to an extent), and generally sorted his things out and came into terms with his oddities while remaining a bit aloof and generally eccentric."
I guess that quote is just saying that an alpha aspie is confident and has high-self esteem, like any other alpha-whatever. They just haven't overcome their oddities. They are comfortable with them, and since they are so confident, other people just accept the aspie as he or she is.
As for forcing yourself to fit in vs. being comfortable with your natural mannerisms, I guess it depends on the type of people you want to attract for friends? I am having trouble deciding on which to be, myself. Maybe there's a happy medium? I don't want to be friends with people who will constantly place social expectations on me, and get upset if I have an aspie moment; on the other hand, I don't want to behave so oddly that nobody feels comfortable around me.
uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Homo_spergensis
Pretty much dead on.
As for whether I'm Alpha or not, I don't really know. But, my problems socially are less social anxiety, and more being socially dumb. To a point this is a problem with women, too. I feel like I have the social intelligence of like... Peter Griffin, sometimes. I was always actually the most outgoing of my family, which as a kid is cute, but as an adult isn't, especially in my anti-social stuckup state. But as a kid, I'd just walk up to random adults in stores and talk to them about Star Trek or something, constantly asking questions. My mom did not like the fact I talked to strangers. But I feel the rest of my family has problems with social anxiety, so they complain I'm weird for like... talking to people.
I guess I'm quiet much of the time in public, but then when people talk to me or I end up talking, I give long rambling paragraphs about the topic at hand.
"An alpha Aspie is an Aspie who overcame his depression, looks, social phobia (to an extent), and generally sorted his things out and came into terms with his oddities while remaining a bit aloof and generally eccentric."
I guess that quote is just saying that an alpha aspie is confident and has high-self esteem, like any other alpha-whatever. They just haven't overcome their oddities. They are comfortable with them, and since they are so confident, other people just accept the aspie as he or she is.
An alpha does not have to be male. I think part of the reason pinpointing alpha v aspie alpha here, is contextual. Alpha is normally used for the animal community or in the BDSM lifestyle. Many people are more animalistic than others, and ID as such.
For instance, I identify as a dominant primal in a BDSM context, and have for well over a decade. It's much as the alpha quoted in the OP's post. I am diagnosed Asperger's because of the "expected" intelligence level, but I have learned to "front" as NT in order to finish school, be a mother, and work. In some situations, however, I have trouble talking to people. I'm not scared of the situations, but I get that blankness others have mentioned. I have special interests. Sometimes I obsess. I look at people too long, because I am not sure when the right time in a conversation is to look away. I also stem at times, but I definitely have a dominant personality, and not even love could "help" me be less alpha in my tendencies for someone who also identified as a dominant. In a place where BDSM is accepted, I function much differently, because I don't have to front in a way that is more mainstream. I've never really experienced the depression commonly associated with Asperger's, and I know far more Aspie subs than dominants, but we "alphas" do exist. I know not all alpha aspies are in the lifestyle though, so they would manifest as dominant in their own ways.
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