This Valentine's Day, reach out to someone

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I'm trying to change my approach to this holiday. Trying to end the cycle, the feelings so many singles have with this holiday.

So this year, I got flowers for a friend. I think she's been lonely, having ended an engagement roughly a year ago. We're just friends, nothing there, but I wanted to do something good for someone.

I say we all do something like this. If you know of someone who's single or alone, try reaching out to them this holiday...send them flowers or a small gift, or treat them to dinner. Remind them that just because they're not in a relationship doesn't mean they can't enjoy the holiday, doesn't mean they're not cared about. We all might be alone, but we can at least make someone else feel a little less so.

Beautiful sentiment.

This year I'm creating a custom valentine's card for my closest friend & crush for the third year in a row - it's become a bit of a tradition. It's light hearted and should be good for a smile vs. serious or super mushy romantic. I've also put together a little bit of a gag gift that should also be good for a smile.

Other than that I bought a couple of cute stuffies for my youngest God daughter and her younger brother. I haven't picked up cards or gifts for any of the other kids yet, but might give them something the next time I see them. It's just that I've seen these two little ones more often than the others and don't know when I'll connect with the others again because of the schedules they lead living at their various split up parents' homes vs. picking favourites.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Nope, don't do it, it is a day created and designed for lovers.

I find it extremely awkward to give anything to one or some female friends on this day (unless she's waay older), if it's really just for the friendship's sake then why I should give flowers/gifts to female friends only? They would instantly assume an ulterior motif or assume that I am extremely desperate for attention from *any* girl. Do it only if you have an ulterior motif! as an opportunity to advance it beyond friendship, otherwise don't do it.

And giving anything on this day to some male friends would instantly make them assume I am gay.

From my experience it's not a good idea, it just makes people feel uncomfortable.

Well, for me to do, anyway.
By all means if you know someone would like it, do it.

Carefull with your approach.

Its easy to read too much into it.

Last year I was out drinking with the regulars(awkward people meeting once a week) and we made a joke about how at least we arent alone. Will do the same if I end up on a similar situation.
That is about it

I tried doing this for somebody years ago and it went spectacularly wrong. If you do send someone a Valentine to cheer them up, make sure you don't do it anonymously!

My sister was crying her eyes out over a break-up and was having very low self-esteem. I sent her some flowers and a teddy bear anonymously, and stressed with the florist the importance of not giving away who they were from. I wanted my sister to think they were from a secret admirer.

My sister cheered up remarkably, but unfortunately she and her best friend started doing some detective work to try and find out who had sent the flowers. They started to formulate a theory that the flowers were from my sister's best friend's brother.

Things got rather awkward from his point of view, so I phoned my sister and confessed that the flowers had actually been from me.

I was expecting her to be appreciative of the fact that I had wanted to cheer her up and had spent all that money on her and didn't want her to feel sad. Instead, she was angry to find that her best friend's brother didn't have a crush on her after all, and she had been made to look foolish by asking him if the flowers were sent by him.

She took it out on me. She raged and ranted angrily at me in tears, and said things like: "how COULD you? How could you do such an awful thing?"



I will never understand NT logic. Apparently, sending your sister expensive anonymous flowers because you think she's awesome and want to cheer her up = "an awful thing."

Be careful. If you try to cheer somebody up on Valentine's Day out of the kindness of your heart, you may be accused of being a hurtful nasty scumbag.


After this hurtful experience I vowed never to send anonymous Valentines ever again (unless, of course, I really mean them. There's nothing wrong with sending an anonymous Valentine to somebody you genuinely like, but sending one to someone you don't have a crush on may seem kind, but will only generate false hopes).

I think stupid is a bit harsh.

Tumbhole's intentions were good, but her execution was misguided.

I agree it def isn't AS/NT issues, it's simply that guys who have crushes on girls send them things anonymously on/around Valentines Day as a sort of build up to revealing who they are. Your sister was depressed and feeling like guys weren't into her. Leading her to believe she had a secret admirer really boosted her self esteem like she has a potential, then to find out it wasn't so would be heart breaking.

Good intentions, but bad execution.

I think the OP's idea isn't bad, but again, you have to be careful to make sure that your intentions are clear and be prepared for rejection.

Sorry thumbhole I didn't mean it that way. I was just pointing out that it wasn't a nice thing to do even though I know you meant well.

They way I see it is, I'm trying to reach out more and show the people around me that I care about them.

I expect my friend will appreciate the gesture and that I thought of her. If she doesn't, then she's not a friend, and I know not to keep her in my life, and I'll focus my positive energies to others. So either way, it's a win for me.

I might bring in themed treats to work. Even if you're alone, at least you have a cupcake! The only downside is that it might make people feel fat, instead.