Don't know if relationship is going anywhere

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I’m neurotypical with moderate to severe social anxiety, and my boyfriend (of four months now) is autistic. We’re commuter students at the same college—he lives with his parents and I live with my extended family. Next year I’m going to a different college in the same city, and I imagine we’ll stay together.

(I know he’s autistic because Google exists and I’m creepy, not because he told me. He has odd mannerisms and I suspected it before I knew. He was supposedly diagnosed at an early age, and I guess it’s possible his parents never told him, but I’m not sure.)

Our relationship has consisted of going on dates every other week or so, always at the same place. Most of our conversations are debates because we have very different worldviews in general. This doesn’t bother me right now, but I expect it will matter in the long term and I don’t know what to do about it. (I know it’s ridiculous to think about this after four months, especially with me being so young and inexperienced, but every unsuccessful long-term relationship started with a short-term one that probably should have ended sooner than it did.) We know each other through our shared interests, but I feel like there’s some dissonance between his conservative views and his willingness to date someone like me.

He holds my hand sometimes, but I never tried to kiss him until yesterday. I should have asked first, but my brain doesn’t work in situations like that, so I didn’t. He turned his face away and hugged me really hard for a long time.

I don’t know if he actually wanted to hug me or if he just wanted to stop me from kissing him, and it made me wonder if the relationship is moving slowly or just not moving at all. I mean, someday I want to go somewhere other than just that one place. Someday I want to meet his family, or have him meet mine. Someday I want to be something other than a stranger to him.

So…does anyone have any advice? Ways to address it without overwhelming him and making him want to change the subject?

... So how do you know for sure he's autistic, again?

Stalking him on the Internet after we'd gone out for a month or so. He struck me as unusual and I wanted to know why...I don't know if everyone secretly does that or if I'm creepy.

I will look up information on the internet after a potential partner has told something about themselves. The reason is to get to know the person, or their interests so that we can talk about it and show the other person that I can share some of the same interests. That's how I have done things (i.e look up information on my girlfriend's home country and ask questions based on the information I find).

Internet stalking or finding information about a partner without asking them directly on the other hand doesn't feel right to me. Sadly, lots of people will do this if they are looking for explanations for something without even asking that partner. Sometimes people will do this because they want to be right about something.

Now the only question I have to ask you might be a little bit random: Do you even trust your partner to be honest with you?

I believe what he says...I don't think he lies or tries to hide anything from me.

If it already seems like things are progressing less-than-smoothly and you question long-term viability, though generally get along, then perhaps you are just better off as friends.