Have A Safe And Survivable Bah-Humbug Day

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I hope everybody manages to survive tomorrow's Bah-Humbug Day relatively unscathed. I'm sure that most of us can relate to that. It is my most disliked day of the entire year (Halloween is my favorite). Here are a few interesting tidbits of trivia to make the day a bit more tolerable:

1) Not only is tomorrow Bah-Humbug Day, but it is also the full moon (2353 EST tomorrow night). So not only are all the NT idiots showing their usual Bah-Humbug lunacy, but they are also out howling at the moon in their usual aggressive manner.

2) Today's news announced that Oconee County, GA (10 miles south of Athens... I live in Atlanta) has cancelled Bah-Humbug Day this year. We had that ice storm come through here yesterday (it was worse to the east and down by the airport than here in the city) and the Oconee Co Sheriff's office decided that it would be safer if people were not driving around buying up flowers and gifts. So they asked people to cancel Bah-Humbug Day this year. Some of the wives interviewed said they were pleased and would put their mates to work cleaning up around the house instead.

Personally I think that the ice storm was overrated. I was here in 1973 when a real ice storm came through. Not only could I not go to work for a week (I worked 30 miles north of town and only had a motorcycle to get around), but the power was out too. Yesterday I was prepared for a major power outage, but the lights only flickered a bit for 5 minutes late in the morning. In that 1973 storm, I had no heat or light for a week in the dead of winter but did have hot water (gas). So I sealed my living room off from the bathroom / bedroom area, ran water in the shower as hot as it would go and let the steam drift into my bedroom for heat. The clouds in my BR were so thick that you could see a halo around the two candles sitting on the other side of the room. Here is a Google link to info on that storm for anyone who might be interested.

> https://www.google.com/#q=January+1973+ ... rm+atlanta

For this Bah-Humbug Day, I've been having to put up with aggression from one of my neighbors, a tiny little Asian guy with an equally tiny GF. He likes to mock my behavior as well as reverse mocking me (act as different from me as he can) and interfering with my life in backhanded indirect ways. I am gay and at times have suspected that he might be trying to put the make on me, but always see it as a phony attempt to get me to respond to his behavior and bow down to his attempts at domination, especially considering his GF. He lacks the gumption to be direct (and I have only seen him once in person on the day he moved in nearly a year ago), but all that indirect "signaling" using water faucets and garbage disposals to match or contradict my behavior is most annoying. Today in advance of Bah-Humbug Day, he has been doing this "signaling" in overdrive. So when I got out of the shower, I decided to be direct myself. I started laughing out loud to myself saying stuff like, "the wimp can't even be direct" and "petty petty punk" hoping that he would hear it through the wall. Then he shut up. Its too bad he can't even speak to me, because I just might like him if he could learn to show some gumption. Neurotypicals just can't seem to communicate with words and without using all those gestures and signals.

Moderators, please feel free to relocate this post... current events maybe, but that doesn't really fit either. I just posted it here as a good initial landing spot.

Adding to the end of your post that the mods are welcome to move it and you weren't sure where to put it doesn't change the fact you posted it in the Autism Discussion forum, and it has nothing to do with autism. You knew that and yet put it here. Isn't that coming pretty close to being spam, plain and simple?

It's not spam; it does indirectly deal with autism, as many of us have a harder time with Valentine's day than the average NT, and that deserves acknowledging.

That fellow sounds annoying. He actually turns on the water or the garbage disposal to copy you every time you turn yours on? That's pretty childish of him. As long as he's only being indirect and passive-aggressive, you can probably ignore him, but if he starts actively harassing you, don't be afraid to report it. If he actually is coming on to you, despite the fact that he's dating somebody else, then that makes him even worse of a scumbag, but I've got no clue if you're guessing right about that. It doesn't really matter either way; you wouldn't want him, even if he were attracted to you, considering that he's got a habit of mocking you and is doing this while he's dating someone else. If a person is cheating on someone else to get with you, then they'll cheat on you to get with someone else.

You know what annoys me about Valentine's day? Everybody focuses on romantic love, as though that were the only real or intense or enduring kind of love. It's not; it's just hormonal. Where's the holiday for love in general? Not just romance, but friendship; family bonds; altruism; love for humanity in general; the simple desire for the welfare and happiness of other living creatures. We don't celebrate that too much. Usually we ignore it. And yet that's what holds the world together.

I haven't seen anything in the post that mentions autism or any problems dealing with a certain holiday due to autism.

Can you point out to me where that's said? I know you've given your impression, but I'm looking for substance.

Overly literal and rigid interpretations such as yours is one trait of autism. Aspies do have problems dealing with holidays and especially THIS holiday. I have seen many posts in past years dealing with this. I was only posting a message of encouragement to Aspies in hope of alleviating some of that difficulty for others before it arises. As such the post covers at least three different categories (autism, current events and social interaction). Since this is the largest category I posted it here in hope of carrying that message of good will to the greatest number of people who might need it. It is certainly not spam. If the moderators wish to move it that is fine with me, although it might reach fewer people.

bah humbug day is on 21st of december.
http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholi ... bugday.htm

as for the valetines day stuff-this is the description of the general board-

this part-

is why this thread is perfectly ok here,but hetro/gay/bi auties ,aspies,PDDNOSers and ADHDers often struggle with the subjects surrounding valetines day so it also fits here to for that reason.

plus valetines day is just a profit scam for all the card/gift companies,theres no reason why girlfriends/boyfriends cant be extra nice to each other on any day of the year.

Hey all I know is im getting a box of candy hearts tomorrow.
Why make it anymore complected?

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to L&D)

Yeah, you're the guy who has a problem with the fact that other people have cell phones, aren't you?

One and the same... You mean to tell me that as an Aspie, you have so many friends that you can't bear to be disconnected from them for the brief time that you travel from point A to point B? Pay phone booths are much more realistic and much, much less expensive than ear dildos.

I don't like cell phones, myself. I have one because I can't afford a home phone, but I spend less than an hour a month using it.

But I don't see why I should be upset with other people who have and like having cell phones. Extroverts really need that constant social contact to stay sane. And of course if it's a smartphone then it's essentially a pocket-size computer, meaning you can use it for organization and entertainment, for getting information. Some people like that. Personally, I prefer a desktop computer; I hate touchscreens for their total lack of tactile feedback, and the small size of the display irritates me even with the relatively large size of a smart phone, which of course makes it less and less portable as it gets bigger. I find cell phones to be a necessity mostly because I have to make phone calls sometimes and because a built-in alarm can remind me to do things.

Live and let live. If you don't like cell phones, you shouldn't need to carry one, but leave people alone if they do like cell phones. It's just preference; no need to insult them over it.

First of all, let me say that there is no way I would ever trust that guy after the way that he/they has behaved in the nine months he has lived here. Aspies are well known for having trust issues after dealing with the aggressive behavior of NTs and after a lifetime of direct and indirect bullying on an almost daily basis (I am 63 now), my trust issues are huge. I have a saying about this: "Violate an Aspie's respect and with a genuinely sincere heart it can be regained in time. Violate an Aspie's trust and it is gone forever". NTs use indirection in everything, which I see as an expression of cowardice because they are not willing to stick their neck out enough to be direct about anything as Aspies do. You see it everywhere in their behavior ranging from their sleazy double meanings to their nuances like the running water and garbage disposals. People also try to interfere with my life as a form of domination and control and especially when it comes to sexuality. If they are in need and I am not, then it gets quiet as a morgue outside at night as they do their thing. If I am in need, then all hell breaks loose with doors slamming, garbos running, people yelling outside my door, car horns honking etc if they suspect that I am doing anything. It is highly selfish of them to do. Again it is an example of that domination and control that rules the NT world (aka rule of the jungle). People mock me and reverse mock me in an effort to make me doubt myself and make me feel that my efforts are in vain. This is called gaslighting and it is a highly effective form of brainwashing that I suspect the tiny asian guy next door is doing to prop up his ego. I have learned by experience over the years that you can never complain about any of it for several reasons: 1) it can never be proven, 2) you cannot trust those to whom you would complain and 3) the person being complained about will find out (or suspect) who made the complaint and will redouble their efforts to be obnoxious, knowing that their efforts have been effective and that they have found your soft spot.

The guy next door is indeed annoying, but is really one of the lesser bullies I have encountered both here and in life in general. He is only a wimp trying to growl like a lion. For some reason, NTs like to presume that Aspies are gay, I just happen to be gay (probably closer to forcibly asexual through constant rejection by others... its been 16 years since I had anybody at all), but they are only guessing about it. There is a good post here in which other Aspies mention the same thing. The general pattern I got from this post (and I wish it had a larger sample size) is that 1) NTs spread malicious gossip and lies about Aspies, 2) NTs presume that Aspies are gay simply because we are so different from them and 3) NTs will drive a wedge between us and any budding friendships that may rarely develop, absolutely destroying those potential friendships. I had often experienced this in life but always thought it was because I am gay. It was very enlightening to find that hetero Aspies experienced the same kind of presumption. Without rereading my comments in that post, I seem to remember that I was pretty wound up in my comments on that one because the pressure on me by bullies around me was much greater than it is now. I might add that another of the NT games I frequently encounter is people who manufacture and spread malicious lies just to suit their own purposes and/or to dominate others. As Aspies, we frequently are the ones who take the brunt of such games. The link follows:

Do people make you the subject of malicious gossip?

> http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt107108.html

Here is a tiny sampling of some of the bullying I have experienced in life:

Jan or Feb 1971 - My very hetero roommate and I were walking back to our room one night along with two other guys when a cynical, hateful guy who had always acted strangely towards me came walking up to my roommate and confronted him saying, "Hey, man, why do you always hang out with that guy (pointing to me). All he ever does is to think about a HARD DICK". Notice the reference to me in the third person while in my presence. Aspies experience this frequently. This was very traumatic for me because for the first time somebody was openly and aggressively prying into my sexuality based on presumption alone when I still did not understand it myself. I knew that my thoughts and desires were very different from those of everybody else, but all I could do was to bottle it up inside of me (as I still must do for the most part) in order to avoid a much worse rejection by everybody around me. My roommate tore into him like a ton of bricks to defuse the situation and to give that guy reason to show common respect for people. (My roommate was very open minded and one of the few people who has ever stood up for me... there were other times like this too... appropriately he is now an attorney in Tampa). At the time I did not realize that I was gay, but I believe that the shock of this event may have led to my gay awakening a couple of months later.

Apr 1972 - A month before I graduated, my senior year Chemistry (my major... Emory Univ) professor stopped his lab lecture cold one day and outed me, announcing to the whole class, "Mr. My-Last-Name is a fa***t". It got so silent that you could have heard a pin drop and nobody spoke one word. Then he finally continued his lecture. That completely destroyed my interest in Chemistry and I never did work for even one day in that field after that.

1975 and 1979 - My employer tried to get me fired twice for just being gay when all of the other guys at that remote location (95% male population) were messing around with each other and I was the only one who was not doing so.

Dec 2010 - A falsely macho acting guy about 40 lived two floors below me who had an unending stream of young boys (often couples) wearing a path to his door. I guessed that he was a closet gay but I did not like him because he was always cold and snarled at me. In Dec 2010, I was on my balcony setting up Christmas lights, when two of these young boys I did not know came walking by on the ground below. One of them looked up at me then turned to the other and said to him rather loudly, "that guy up there is a homosexual". They did not know me so it could have only come from gossip and speculation from that guy in the basement apartment. That same month I came prancing out of the office in high spirits one day after paying rent when two young girls came walking towards me looking very relaxed as if freshly satisfied sexually (or faking it). I had seen them through the window walking around a couple of times before but did not know them and they did not know me other than through the gossip. Nobody else was around and I ignored them as they approached about 15 feet to my side. Then suddenly one of them shouted out loudly enough for everybody within 200-300 feet to hear, "He's jacking off" with a lot of force and inflection in her words!! ! I ignored them, got in my car and left.

Late 2010 through 2011 - I had a neighbor next door in the same apartment where the Asian guy now lives who was an evangelical homophobic jock about my age from SC. Each night when I took a shower he would stand on his side of the bathroom wall and make snide remarks through the wall at me to the effect of "My-Name is satisfied", "My-Name is a homosexual", "My-Name is in love with a MAN (aghast)" etc ad nauseum. It never did stop and gave me frequent meltdowns. He finally made such a fool of himself that he shut up and became a good neighbor for the year or so before he moved out (but never to be trusted again). The guy in the apartment below me (a young muscular jock from Melbourne, FL) was much worse (not just stupid but malicious). He would follow my footsteps around the floor banging rapidly on the walls beneath my feet with something that sounded like a large tablespoon. When I complained about him, his bullying escalated dramatically until he moved out in mid 2011.

It never does stop. After the most recent event in which a potential friend was driven away from me by such hate and domination, I came to the realization that if this were ever to stop or slow down, then I absolutely needed a friend. It did not matter if they were gay, straight, neuter, male or female, but I really needed to have somebody to listen, offer encouragement and improve my mood enough to force the bullies to realize how insignificant they are. I had heard of a very good program at a nearby autism center that matched Aspies to volunteers for exactly this purpose. So I went in to talk to them and ended up talking to a staff assistant who pounded me with stories about his own glorious social life. They rejected me, presumably because I am gay. Instead they wanted to drug me out of existence and send me to some high priced shrink. I do not need a shrink... I need a fair chance to have a friend. So I told them where to go and never looked back. They had violated my trust.

I have never had much luck with the gay community, which has always rejected me even more brutally than the straight community. After all, they are highly defensive and as an Aspie see me as too different from them to relate to. I have always gotten along better with straights for some reason and I identify with the Aspie community much more strongly than with the gay community. But it was my only remaining hope. So I went in to talk to the preacher at a nearby gay church, since I had had a good experience talking to a similar preacher 30 years ago. The guy was totally preoccupied making party favors for his daughter's wedding, kept passing the buck (go talk to someone else... don't bug me) and ridiculed me for illustrating my points with pictures (Aspies are after all highly visual... a recent CNN interview with Temple Grandin points this out too when she said that she thinks in pictures while others think in words). He told me to email him and come on back to talk to him when he was less busy. I did so twice but there was never any response to my email. That was two years ago. I still have one card left to play. I am now writing an email to the national organization of the same church in hope of finding someone to listen and hopefully someone to serve as that person to talk to that the nearby autism center would not allow. An added bonus is the fact that the daughter of the preacher I spoke with 30 years ago is on the senior staff of that church's headquarters.

The big problem is that there are no truly Aspie friendly methods of meeting people. NTs meet people starting with large groups and whittling the field down. But Aspies cannot function well in groups and need one individual to introduce us to others in a more mellow fashion. That is what the autism organization attempted to do. It is even more difficult for gay Aspies such as myself.

Anyhow, I know from too much experience how demeaning and lonely it can be for Aspies on holidays and especially on this particular holiday. So my intent in making the original post was to give others a sense of encouragement to get through this most difficult day. As it has turned out, it was a more difficult day for me than usual. The aggression of the Asian guy next door over the past two days rode on my mind last night and I could not get to sleep until nearly 6 AM. For the most part I try to stay indoors and avoid people most of the time, although that is not what I really want to do. The only person in my building who truly has my respect (and I've told her so... also that I am an Aspie) is the young girl across the hall from me who is even more of a recluse than I am.



I could not agree with you more. The concept exists and is placed on a pedestal in the form of the message of Christ and all of the other central figures of the world's religions and yet the NT churches all turn it into a promotion of themselves and their own interpretation of that message (aka NT opinion and judgment, the same things that religions pretend to speak out against). Christmas and Easter are supposedly celebrations of pure love, but the celebration of the man as opposed to the message itself destroys the true meaning of the message. NTs will never learn though. And this says nothing about the commercialization of such holidays as you mention, turning them into a farce.

There might be something to be said for Halloween, when people offer candy to kids just for the asking.

No intent to demean anybody. I wish I could afford an ear dildo myself but the service fees are outlandish. I have always had a habit of forming mental caricatures of people and things that I find amusing or annoying (and I won't even allow myself to get started on my nicknames for people). I suppose it is just part of my Aspie visual nature. Anyhow, that is the way that my term of "ear dildo" came about and at least one person has cracked up laughing over the aptness of it. It all began about 10 years ago when I was in the left turn lane of a nearby busy intersection. A woman in the car ahead of me was having difficulty with the turn and then I saw this phone shoved into her head as if she were getting some thrill from it that just could not be delayed for one second. It looked so much to me as if she were shoving a dildo into the side of her head that my new name for cellphones was born.

This topic completely derails the thread, but since you brought it up, I'll comment. Cell phones don't have to mean you're glued to your friends 24/7; it's what it means for my NT adolescent sister, but I use mine primarily in emergencies like when I need someone to pick me up because I'm stranded somewhere. They're also useful for passing little bits of information back and forth such as dates and times, things that shouldn't require someone to go far out of their way to get the information. I would be lost without the texting feature because I despise calling people on the phone; it makes me very anxious and texting alleviates that problem. Also, I would not be comfortable using a public pay phone because of how dirty they are. I don't need the germs of random strangers being passed directly into my ear. Now, where were we? Oh yes, Valentine's day.

As an aspie my living & financial situations aren't stable at all and I often need to contact friends and family for help and support.
Also, I've lived in many places in the past 8 years, but only had one telephone number, which has helped keep me in contact with people I see less frequently.
As an IT professional, I've been able to do emergency work for clients at any time directly from my phone, which earned me money & respect and made the clients very happy.
Finally, in the past few months I've been without a steady internet connection, but I've been able to tether my phone to my computer and get internet access anywhere I go, which has kept me from starving and being homeless, which I really appreciate.

Without my phone, I'd be completely screwed.
Cell phones rock and are far more than mere ear dildos.