OKCupid love hack: the best questions

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leafplant
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16 Mar 2014, 4:07 pm

Excellent and entertaining as well as informative

The Best Questions For A First Date

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-b ... rst-dates/

Okay, if you want to know...
Will my date have sex on the first date?
Ask...
Do you like the taste of beer?


also..
If you want to know...
Is my date religious?
Ask...
Do spelling and grammar mistakes annoy you?

Quote:
I should've figured out that religious people are okay with small mistakes. Next to intelligent design, what's a couple typos?


:lmao:



LeftWeems
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16 Mar 2014, 9:03 pm

Interesting. I usually use dates as a means of getting to know each other's general interests and stuff like that.



Eureka13
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16 Mar 2014, 10:03 pm

leafplant wrote:
Excellent and entertaining as well as informative

The Best Questions For A First Date

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-b ... rst-dates/

Okay, if you want to know...
Will my date have sex on the first date?
Ask...
Do you like the taste of beer?


also..
If you want to know...
Is my date religious?
Ask...
Do spelling and grammar mistakes annoy you?
Quote:
I should've figured out that religious people are okay with small mistakes. Next to intelligent design, what's a couple typos?


:lmao:


LMAO!! !!

This comment cracked me up, too:

"Also, I think the beer thing is backwards. I think the more likely you are to have sex on a first date, the more you start liking beer. I didn’t start liking beer until I put out more easily."



thewhitrbbit
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16 Mar 2014, 10:08 pm

I shake my head at those people who are so bent up that they flip out if someone uses the wrong "too."

I understand if someone messages you like "yo whud up yo shortie you be wantin ta f*k lada?" but I've seen people shoot people down for literally 1 grammar mistake.



accountinglad
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17 Mar 2014, 2:04 pm

I'd avoid talking about religion on a first date and focus more on the persons hobbies and interests.



yellowtamarin
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17 Mar 2014, 2:23 pm

accountinglad wrote:
I'd avoid talking about religion on a first date and focus more on the persons hobbies and interests.

Delaying the inevitable? That's not my style.



GiantHockeyFan
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17 Mar 2014, 3:10 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Delaying the inevitable? That's not my style.

I agree totally and on my last date asked her all about politics and religion. Found out she's pretty hardcore Catholic so that's something I will have to consider now rather than later. I also recently saw a profile of a gorgeous looking woman who just moved here from the USA (given my area's sky high unemployment in that field I am VERY skeptical but I ignored it might be fake for now) and was willing to overlook her stuck up attitude. What I wasn't prepared to ignore was that she was a hardcore Republican. You know, as in donated her time and money to George W. Bush's campaign and was proud of it too. Saved me from wasting my time with her!

My concern is that my profile makes me out to be a "traditional" right wing Christian when that could not be further from the truth. I did find it ironic how most of my eHarmony matches were Atheist though: at least 80% even though I'm not. I honestly couldn't care less about a girl's hobbies as long as she has some (most long time couples I know have few hobbies in common) but I do need to know if she's very religious or political as those can be deal-breakers. This goes back to the whole I wish everyone would just be upfront about these types of things as they are essential to any relationship succeeding not whether she's a fellow hockey fan. Being an Aspie that can't read between the lines makes dating even harder than it needs to be.



leafplant
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17 Mar 2014, 3:23 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Delaying the inevitable? That's not my style.

I agree totally and on my last date asked her all about politics and religion. Found out she's pretty hardcore Catholic so that's something I will have to consider now rather than later. I also recently saw a profile of a gorgeous looking woman who just moved here from the USA (given my area's sky high unemployment in that field I am VERY skeptical but I ignored it might be fake for now) and was willing to overlook her stuck up attitude. What I wasn't prepared to ignore was that she was a hardcore Republican. You know, as in donated her time and money to George W. Bush's campaign and was proud of it too. Saved me from wasting my time with her!

My concern is that my profile makes me out to be a "traditional" right wing Christian when that could not be further from the truth. I did find it ironic how most of my eHarmony matches were Atheist though: at least 80% even though I'm not. I honestly couldn't care less about a girl's hobbies as long as she has some (most long time couples I know have few hobbies in common) but I do need to know if she's very religious or political as those can be deal-breakers. This goes back to the whole I wish everyone would just be upfront about these types of things as they are essential to any relationship succeeding not whether she's a fellow hockey fan. Being an Aspie that can't read between the lines makes dating even harder than it needs to be.


eHArmony is all about Christians, if you are not religious you better dump that sorry site, it's just a money wasting pit as far as I can tell (unless you are a right wing Christian in which case it's exactly the right place)



GiantHockeyFan
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17 Mar 2014, 7:14 pm

leafplant wrote:
eHArmony is all about Christians, if you are not religious you better dump that sorry site, it's just a money wasting pit as far as I can tell (unless you are a right wing Christian in which case it's exactly the right place)

Well it was a while ago so I'm not active there but I did find the highest quality women and almost no Christians. Then again, this is Canada so we are like Europe where few are openly religious. I dumped the site but mostly because of the high cost and deceptive "auto-renewal" that's almost impossible to find. I just don't know where "normal" women can be found online. Sigh.



leafplant
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17 Mar 2014, 7:30 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
leafplant wrote:
eHArmony is all about Christians, if you are not religious you better dump that sorry site, it's just a money wasting pit as far as I can tell (unless you are a right wing Christian in which case it's exactly the right place)

Well it was a while ago so I'm not active there but I did find the highest quality women and almost no Christians. Then again, this is Canada so we are like Europe where few are openly religious. I dumped the site but mostly because of the high cost and deceptive "auto-renewal" that's almost impossible to find. I just don't know where "normal" women can be found online. Sigh.


Um, hang on, are you saying you want someone who is Christian, but not openly so?

8O

I am not sure what qualifies as "normal" woman but I sure as heck hope it ain't that. :scratch:



Eureka13
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17 Mar 2014, 9:03 pm

I have the opposite problem - "normal" men don't interest me. I want someone who's exceptional. :D



NinsMom
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17 Mar 2014, 10:34 pm

I deleted this post cuz i got E Harmony mixed up with Christian Tingle, Dingle, I mean MINGLE!



Last edited by NinsMom on 18 Mar 2014, 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

GiantHockeyFan
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17 Mar 2014, 11:01 pm

leafplant wrote:
Um, hang on, are you saying you want someone who is Christian, but not openly so?

8O

I am not sure what qualifies as "normal" woman but I sure as heck hope it ain't that. :scratch:

No. What I mean is that most women I was matched up with on eHarmony were hardcore Atheists. I am fairly anti-religious but do have interests in more Eastern Philosophies such as Taoism and do believe in a higher power just not God as its commonly understood. What I am saying is that I can tolerate someone who was a more liberal Christian (or Jew or Muslim) and didn't go to church regularly or at least not expect me to go. As for the normal women comment, I mean one who isn't a hipster/vegan or narcissist and is actually interesting in a monogamous relationship and children/family and is at least somewhat feminine. They are surprisingly hard to find at least where I live. I think I may have missed the boat as nearly all these types of women are already married and I waited too long. Oh well its my own damn fault.



leafplant
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18 Mar 2014, 2:31 pm

*sadface* Awww. Maybe you should put that paragraph on your profile? It is a bit confusing to understand what you are looking for and why if you don't explain it like that.


Feeling very sad for you, but hope you can find that special lady anyway!



GiantHockeyFan
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18 Mar 2014, 4:37 pm

leafplant wrote:
*sadface* Awww. Maybe you should put that paragraph on your profile? It is a bit confusing to understand what you are looking for and why if you don't explain it like that.


Feeling very sad for you, but hope you can find that special lady anyway!

Thanks leafplant that means a lot to me. As you know, I created a thread in the Adult section and I feel like I'm almost stuck between the two main "camps" that women generally seek: I'm quiet, passive, shy, sweet, sensitive and gentle with strong "maternal" instincts (and love babies and toddlers) and a low sex drive but also dominant, insanely competitive and hot headed and VERY protective of those close to me. I'm sure it probably confuses the heck out of most people. Look up retired NHL goalie Ron Hextall and that's an extreme example of the kind of person I am. On the surface he's considered an angry hot head who throws sticks and is very aggressive but in reality he's a pure gentlemen when not competing and very loyal to his teammates.

I just don't want women to get the idea that I want someone I can boss around or I expect them to submit to my will. Sure I like to be a leader in all endeavors but I'm more like a Ship's Captain who will sacrifice himself if needed rather than a Brutal Dictator. I've rewritten my OKCupid profile to show off my personality more and will try to find a way to add that paragraph in. I have to admit that when I was completely inexperienced and had no idea what I was doing I got FAR more attention from women and should have just left it alone. Like job coaches, the advice I was essentially given was to be like everyone else and of course it was a monumental failure. It was obvious I was trying too hard to impress when that isn't my style at all and besides I could never "win" against a chest thumping pseudo-Alpha even if I wanted to.



leafplant
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18 Mar 2014, 6:10 pm

Oh yeah, I didn't even connect that it was you in the Adult section asking about that thing. Doh.

Don't be too despondent. Everyone I have ever met had some sort of issue about themselves or their life which they thought was a big drawback or whatever. Even the ones who will swear blind to you that their life is perfect are actually just telling themselves that daily in hope it will eventually become the truth.

I think it's good to try and be as clear about what you are bringing to the table and what you hope to get in return (on the dating site) to save yourself a lot of time wasting and possibly missing the right person because you are too busy trying to figure out if you will be compatible with the wrong person if only both of you could bend backwards exactly the right amount.

One thing I have started asking myself and others lately is - how much does the environment influence your view of yourself and your needs? Like, if you didn't live where you live and hang out with the people you hang out, do you think that all your preferences and needs would be exactly the same? Sometimes it's worth having a little rummage inside one's head and getting rid of conditionings that no longer serve to better our lives but are running our responses like an auto pilot.