Over analyzing! What's wrong with me?!

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Muse_of_Obscurity
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 2 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
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Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.

26 Feb 2014, 6:28 pm

Ok...so I have no problem with getting dates but I have this horrible habit of over analyzing everything and what's worse is I voice it out with my date or friends or anyone, I just can't help it an hour or so goes past and I'm like 'Why the heck did I say, what is wrong with me?!'. I'm starting to think I just can't be in a relationship anymore because of my concerns, doubts and fears always rushing to the surface because I know it must look weak, no confidences, have no trust issues and or have a low self-esteem.

I had a wonderful date last night and well after sex...I just said a lot of things about what I thought she would say to her friends etc...well I don't think it went over well and then started analyzing verbally while lying beside her...after she left I was like 'why the hell did I say that?!'. honestly right now I just want to shoot myself and put myself out of my misery...

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Soccer22
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26 Feb 2014, 6:41 pm

I think it's cute when guys verbalize what they're feeling (even if it's insecurity). Being vulnerable is the only way you can fall in love. Give it a day or two to settle and then write or call her.

Muse_of_Obscurity
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 2 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 52
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.

26 Feb 2014, 6:55 pm

Soccer22 wrote:

I think it's cute when guys verbalize what they're feeling (even if it's insecurity). Being vulnerable is the only way you can fall in love. Give it a day or two to settle and then write or call her.

Too late unfortunately. I received a message saying she 'doesn't think it will work out' apparently it's because of the sex.

Soccer22
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26 Feb 2014, 7:10 pm

Muse_of_Obscurity wrote:

Soccer22 wrote:

I think it's cute when guys verbalize what they're feeling (even if it's insecurity). Being vulnerable is the only way you can fall in love. Give it a day or two to settle and then write or call her.

Too late unfortunately. I received a message saying she 'doesn't think it will work out' apparently it's because of the sex, I think I know why though...something I need to see my doctor about...

Hmmm ... Might not want to leave that last part open to interpretation like that... Sorry it's not gonna work out though.

Muse_of_Obscurity
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 2 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 52
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.

26 Feb 2014, 7:29 pm

Soccer22 wrote:

Muse_of_Obscurity wrote:

Soccer22 wrote:

I think it's cute when guys verbalize what they're feeling (even if it's insecurity). Being vulnerable is the only way you can fall in love. Give it a day or two to settle and then write or call her.

Too late unfortunately. I received a message saying she 'doesn't think it will work out' apparently it's because of the sex, I think I know why though...something I need to see my doctor about...

Hmmm ... Might not want to leave that last part open to interpretation like that... Sorry it's not gonna work out though.

Yeah...I don't think I should be too personal, sorry just really depressed right now, thanks for responding though, I appreciate it.

Soccer22
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26 Feb 2014, 7:51 pm

Muse_of_Obscurity wrote:

Soccer22 wrote:

Muse_of_Obscurity wrote:

Soccer22 wrote:

I think it's cute when guys verbalize what they're feeling (even if it's insecurity). Being vulnerable is the only way you can fall in love. Give it a day or two to settle and then write or call her.

Too late unfortunately. I received a message saying she 'doesn't think it will work out' apparently it's because of the sex, I think I know why though...something I need to see my doctor about...

Hmmm ... Might not want to leave that last part open to interpretation like that... Sorry it's not gonna work out though.

Yeah...I don't think I should be too personal, sorry just really depressed right now, thanks for responding though, I appreciate it.

You're welcome! I hope you feel better soon.

redrobin62
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26 Feb 2014, 10:38 pm

I guess this is typical of folks on the spectrum, me included. I'm not good at deception and keeping secrets. If there was someone I was around, and I felt safe, I'd just start talking my head off till something inappropriate came out.

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Muse_of_Obscurity
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 2 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
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Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.

26 Feb 2014, 11:49 pm

redrobin62 wrote:

Story of my life, but I just start talking right off the bat and more chatty with someone I like!

SSWaspie
Blue Jay

Joined: 28 Feb 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 95
Location: Ontario

02 Mar 2014, 1:38 pm

I too, over analyze everything.

Why are they looking at me that way? Did I say something wrong? Do they not like me? Are they just here to be nice? Oh I must be talking too much... Maybe I'm moving too quick, maybe too slow.

Yea and then I think about it nonstop till I confront the person and hope to work it out but instead they think I'm insane and have no clue what I'm talking about because ie over analyzed and somehow twisted the words/look/situation into something it apparently never was.

God, I hate this about myself. Nice to see I'm not the only one that does this.

Sorry I'm of no help to you.

goldfish21
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02 Mar 2014, 3:15 pm

Based on the forum you're posting on I'm going to go out on a limb here and say "Asperger's Syndrome." That's what's wrong with you.

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yum_snapple
Butterfly

Joined: 17 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 13
Location: Central California

02 Mar 2014, 9:15 pm

This sounds just like me, you're most definitely not alone.

For example this past girl I was dating, when we were just laying together (sometimes after being intimate), I would just start talking about what I was feeling, saying some really odd things. Luckily she was the type of girl who understood me pretty well so it didn't faze her too much. I did end up hurting her feelings multiple times without even meaning to (saying things like I'm not sure how I feel about you and such).

Another thing I do is apologize a lot, especially during intimacy. I guess I just over analyze how they're feeling and what they're thinking of me. I suppose it's just me being insecure.

Sorry if this post isn't much help, but it seems like there are a lot of people that have this issue!

aspiemike
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02 Mar 2014, 9:39 pm

yum_snapple wrote:

We brought up around September and October of 2013 the ideas of burnout, over thinking and self-defeat. The three seem to go hand in hand. Seemed many on the forum related to all three.

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Muse_of_Obscurity
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 2 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 52
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.

02 Mar 2014, 10:05 pm

SSWaspie wrote:

It's fine, really, as you say it's lovely to know I'm not the only one, I'm actually feeling much better about the whole thing now, she was clearly far too insecure in herself to be willing to understand me. Oh well, as they say, ever rejection, every failed relationship is just life re-directing you to your true soul mate/partner. =D

Muse_of_Obscurity
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 2 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 52
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.

02 Mar 2014, 10:08 pm

yum_snapple wrote:

All good and hey I do that too, talk after and say really weird off @#$! haha...yeah this girl was pretty shallow and too hooked up on her own issues, really insecure type, should If seen it first. Oh well, might have another date this weekend so looking good =D

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