09 Mar 2014, 6:35 pm
09 Mar 2014, 6:59 pm
09 Mar 2014, 7:14 pm
HugsBison wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hmm, well I don't think women would like If i was open about my affections, something about walking up to them and saying "I find you to be gorgeous, would you like to talk?" would come off as bad. I mean what would you feel if a guy did that to you?
I find this is something some guys do in person, so it isn't that abnormal. I may not care for it if the first thing they commented on was me being 'gorgeous' or some other physical feature. It might make me withdraw/back away. But if they told me they found me interesting and wanted to get to know me better, it makes me want to talk to them, and it shocks me that someone said he finds me interesting.
I'm also not that brave anymore.
If I like someone now, I say nothing and just try to stop thinking about them.
well it seems creepy to me. what else is there to comment on, they see you from a distance all the know about you i your looks, they don't know if you're interesting or not. I suppose they could if the woman was doing something, or her personality showed. this is something that confuses me, women don't like to be complimented right away, but yet its all i know about them upon first meeting, so what else do I say.
If I saw a woman with a playful personality, I might be tempted to approach them, I love that , but do I walk up and say you seem playful? I worry some people will take the word playful to mean sex. Why must people use so many different words for sex
I don't know why that would shock you, from what I've seen from you on WP, you sound interesting.
that's s shame, I'm not as brave as I was a year ago either.
don't do that, sounds like giving up hope. Keep trying,
hugs
09 Mar 2014, 7:15 pm
leafplant wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
leafplant wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
If you don't like your hairy bum, remove the hair? I mean, women remove their hair all the time for men, but men won't even do it for themselves? Weird.
Ahhhh so you admit that you do it FOR MEN! Eh?
You have no idea how hurtful people can be. When I was 13, a boy I was 'dating' made horrible comments about my pre-pubescent breasts. I have never been able to have a healthy relationship with my body because of this. I have heard people make comments about other peoples body hair in such a horrible way that it has made me self conscious forever - even though they haven't said those things to me or about me. So, in a way, we do it for ourselves AND for the men - for ourselves, so we can feel good about ourselves because the men won't say horrible things to us about our bodies.
Well, at least it's less confusing for you women when it comes to body hair! Believe me! duh! The general social rule that women should shave all hair, most men and women in society agree on that, so you shave and problem solved, that's it! But for men it's more confusing, talking about harsh comments: Some women say "eeww" to chest hair, others say it's sexy, some say we should shave it all, others say it's disgusting and gay to shave it all.
Believe me it's equally confusing for women. My ex didn't like the smooth skin experience 'down there' and preferred it, ahem, shall we say French style. But of course, you can't cultivate that and use public facilities where other women might see you, like the gym or pool or whatever plus what if you yourself don't like it?
If you are a naturally hairy man who likes his chest and back hair it's best to seek a partner who will also like those things. I know someone who has a very hairy body. His wife makes him wax his back, bum and shoulders but she likes the chest hair so that stays on. That's compromise I guess although it would be best if we didn't really have to do any of this but then, we shower and dress in clean clothes so other people wouldn't have to endure us in our messy state so this is just another step. I don't mind actually doing what the other person wants as long as they don't make me feel bad about being who I am.
for me its been the beard. Some women want it while others Despise it. I get tired of going back and forth. I don't like it too long, but short is annoying. It pokes me ant the woman if she wants kissed. I tend to do medium or the few days after shave look. shaving every day is expensive and tends to get cuts. which take months to go away.
I don't understand why women seem to be required to shave their arm pits. o.O I can get the legs kinda. as for down there. it has practical reasons.
I'd never make someone feel bad about being who they are. Sorry you got bad comments growing up. you should be able to love your body.
Its why I hate the whats your type questions, its a loaded question. I wish people weren't so mean to others.
09 Mar 2014, 10:00 pm
sly279 wrote:
HugsBison wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hmm, well I don't think women would like If i was open about my affections, something about walking up to them and saying "I find you to be gorgeous, would you like to talk?" would come off as bad. I mean what would you feel if a guy did that to you?
I find this is something some guys do in person, so it isn't that abnormal. I may not care for it if the first thing they commented on was me being 'gorgeous' or some other physical feature. It might make me withdraw/back away. But if they told me they found me interesting and wanted to get to know me better, it makes me want to talk to them, and it shocks me that someone said he finds me interesting.
I'm also not that brave anymore.
If I like someone now, I say nothing and just try to stop thinking about them.
well it seems creepy to me. what else is there to comment on, they see you from a distance all the know about you i your looks, they don't know if you're interesting or not. I suppose they could if the woman was doing something, or her personality showed. this is something that confuses me, women don't like to be complimented right away, but yet its all i know about them upon first meeting, so what else do I say.
If I saw a woman with a playful personality, I might be tempted to approach them, I love that , but do I walk up and say you seem playful? I worry some people will take the word playful to mean sex. Why must people use so many different words for sex
I don't know why that would shock you, from what I've seen from you on WP, you sound interesting.
that's s shame, I'm not as brave as I was a year ago either.
don't do that, sounds like giving up hope. Keep trying, hugs
I suppose I am coming from a place where I'm in University and am constantly surrounded by the opportunity to get to know people. I suppose it shocks me when people find me interesting because I'm not very social, I dedicate most of my time to school, and my interests aren't the social norm. Now, it would be less shocking coming from a person who is a bit more like myself, but I generally don't interact with many people.
I don't know if I've given up hope or if I just don't care.
I guess it is different if a stranger confronts me about physical things but then I usually wonder what their motivations are. I normally don't turn down a conversation with someone if that's what they want. I'm just not that good at small talk so it never goes anywhere. And I hate when people ask me overly personal questions upon first meeting me, which is my typical experience. I feel like my personal boundaries have been crossed.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
10 Mar 2014, 12:10 am
10 Mar 2014, 1:40 am
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
10 Mar 2014, 3:23 am
newageretrohippie wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
newageretrohippie wrote:
I'm expected to look like Channing Tatum and make a buttload of money while living in my own house and driving a fancy car.
I'm often dissatisfied with your life but they say you should count your blessings right? I'm kind of surprised they actually let me drive or that with my deficient knowledge in things mechanical I've able to keep a clunker sedan running for these years (tip: have friends who know about mechanics).
You may never own a fancy car but... just get a car. It may be an old clunker but even still, people really respect you more. My self respect went up, my social opportunities increased vastly now that I had a means of getting there. If you have a car you can form a posse of up to five people. You'll be in demand if you can actually teach people how to drive. I think women respond better to an oldie gas guzzler than no car at all.
Didn't one of the ten reasons mention shaving or something? It seems like women have a larger area to shave then men so I can't my blessings.
Forget the fancy car just get a car (tip: don't buy it off ebay like I did).
Even if I could afford a car it wouldn't make a difference as I never learned how to drive. I've been talking with my best friend about her possibly teaching me though. Being on SSDI make is tough to pay the bills and pick up maybe 1 video game every month or so ( more if I buy used games or get good deals )
I guess that was kind of thoughtless of me. I'm on a similar payment but I think it might be higher in Australia.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
10 Mar 2014, 3:53 am
leafplant wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
There's a consensus regarding the back hair - so I remove it all with my machine; problem solved. It's the chest hair thing which is confusing, generally speaking, the older the women the more tolerating/liking to chest hair (30+); 20s are way less tolerating.
How do you reach with your machine? I cannot imagine how anyone could remove back hair by themselves?!
It's only on the back neck so it's reachable for me, the rest of my back is hairless.
Chest hair is more annoying to remove, the chest's skin is way more sensitive to growing hair, I've tried a little once and it got so itchy/irritating as hell for a whole month while they're growing back again, I can't imagine how it would be like if I remove them all. I trim my pubic hair without reaching the root so I don't get this itchy effect too.
Quote:
I am not keen on body hair personally, mine or other people's but I've definitely noticed I am more tolerant of it as I have gotten older. Not sure if it's some sort of hormonal change or I just figure I haven't got much choice 
I am not sure if it's a generational or age thing, but generally speaking (like 70% of the cases) 29-35 women are indifferent to it, 35+ like it, the younger ones hate it.
10 Mar 2014, 4:25 am
HugsBison wrote:
sly279 wrote:
HugsBison wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hmm, well I don't think women would like If i was open about my affections, something about walking up to them and saying "I find you to be gorgeous, would you like to talk?" would come off as bad. I mean what would you feel if a guy did that to you?
I find this is something some guys do in person, so it isn't that abnormal. I may not care for it if the first thing they commented on was me being 'gorgeous' or some other physical feature. It might make me withdraw/back away. But if they told me they found me interesting and wanted to get to know me better, it makes me want to talk to them, and it shocks me that someone said he finds me interesting.
I'm also not that brave anymore.
If I like someone now, I say nothing and just try to stop thinking about them.
well it seems creepy to me. what else is there to comment on, they see you from a distance all the know about you i your looks, they don't know if you're interesting or not. I suppose they could if the woman was doing something, or her personality showed. this is something that confuses me, women don't like to be complimented right away, but yet its all i know about them upon first meeting, so what else do I say.
If I saw a woman with a playful personality, I might be tempted to approach them, I love that , but do I walk up and say you seem playful? I worry some people will take the word playful to mean sex. Why must people use so many different words for sex
I don't know why that would shock you, from what I've seen from you on WP, you sound interesting.
that's s shame, I'm not as brave as I was a year ago either.
don't do that, sounds like giving up hope. Keep trying, hugs
I suppose I am coming from a place where I'm in University and am constantly surrounded by the opportunity to get to know people. I suppose it shocks me when people find me interesting because I'm not very social, I dedicate most of my time to school, and my interests aren't the social norm. Now, it would be less shocking coming from a person who is a bit more like myself, but I generally don't interact with many people.
I don't know if I've given up hope or if I just don't care.
I guess it is different if a stranger confronts me about physical things but then I usually wonder what their motivations are. I normally don't turn down a conversation with someone if that's what they want. I'm just not that good at small talk so it never goes anywhere. And I hate when people ask me overly personal questions upon first meeting me, which is my typical experience. I feel like my personal boundaries have been crossed.
Is it alright if I message you? our conversation is going off topic, though It is interesting one discussion.
10 Mar 2014, 6:19 pm
sly279 wrote:
HugsBison wrote:
sly279 wrote:
HugsBison wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hmm, well I don't think women would like If i was open about my affections, something about walking up to them and saying "I find you to be gorgeous, would you like to talk?" would come off as bad. I mean what would you feel if a guy did that to you?
I find this is something some guys do in person, so it isn't that abnormal. I may not care for it if the first thing they commented on was me being 'gorgeous' or some other physical feature. It might make me withdraw/back away. But if they told me they found me interesting and wanted to get to know me better, it makes me want to talk to them, and it shocks me that someone said he finds me interesting.
I'm also not that brave anymore.
If I like someone now, I say nothing and just try to stop thinking about them.
well it seems creepy to me. what else is there to comment on, they see you from a distance all the know about you i your looks, they don't know if you're interesting or not. I suppose they could if the woman was doing something, or her personality showed. this is something that confuses me, women don't like to be complimented right away, but yet its all i know about them upon first meeting, so what else do I say.
If I saw a woman with a playful personality, I might be tempted to approach them, I love that , but do I walk up and say you seem playful? I worry some people will take the word playful to mean sex. Why must people use so many different words for sex
I don't know why that would shock you, from what I've seen from you on WP, you sound interesting.
that's s shame, I'm not as brave as I was a year ago either.
don't do that, sounds like giving up hope. Keep trying, hugs
I suppose I am coming from a place where I'm in University and am constantly surrounded by the opportunity to get to know people. I suppose it shocks me when people find me interesting because I'm not very social, I dedicate most of my time to school, and my interests aren't the social norm. Now, it would be less shocking coming from a person who is a bit more like myself, but I generally don't interact with many people.
I don't know if I've given up hope or if I just don't care.
I guess it is different if a stranger confronts me about physical things but then I usually wonder what their motivations are. I normally don't turn down a conversation with someone if that's what they want. I'm just not that good at small talk so it never goes anywhere. And I hate when people ask me overly personal questions upon first meeting me, which is my typical experience. I feel like my personal boundaries have been crossed.
Is it alright if I message you? our conversation is going off topic, though It is interesting one discussion.
Feel free :]
13 Mar 2014, 2:59 pm
I would change the title to , "10 reasons why being aspie sucks" . No problems with me being a young man , other than the problems I have that can't get me a girlfriend . But such is life I guess 
13 Mar 2014, 3:39 pm
13 Mar 2014, 3:48 pm
sly279 wrote:
HugsBison wrote:
sly279 wrote:
HugsBison wrote:
I used to approach men but stopped after I realized it was being interpreted as me coming on too strong and being creepy. Ohh.
Men should cry more. This should be okay.
Men should cry more. This should be okay.
I would actually like that. I wouldn't find it creepy or too strong. I might run, though Ive gotten better, so I'd actually talk with her, but unless spoken or shown with clear touch(not just a graze) I wouldn't think they were interested in me. so I guess it depends on the guys.
sorry you had those bad experiences. I wish there were more women that would approach guys.
I only cry in my room, I wont go out until the I don't look like I've cried. I have to use calming methods sometimes in public. If i had a woman that lived with me in my room I guess i'd go hide in the bathroom and cry.
I don't cry in front of people either.
I am a straightforward person, so there is no way they could take it the wrong way.
It does depend on the person though. I guess it just isn't considered proper social protocol and it is seen as being desperate by some people.
When I see a woman cry I tend to feel sad and It will make me cry too. I feel the need to comfort them.
Crying for guys is considered weakness, so I don't want to be made fun of.
I'd prefer straightforward as compared to the games a lot of women play. It probably unique for a woman to approach guys, but I think it should be the norm. Seems better then two people being sad and alone, cause one would like to approach but society says its not normal, and the other is afraid of the woman rejecting him. They could have been soul mates.
I wish more girls would approach me if any are interested i mean. which I assume is non since I'm not approached. Well they come up to me but to check out of the store .
Crying makes us human. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but I get that you can't cry in front of others. In my case, it's people I don't know, or don't trust. (The 'don't trust' includes most people.)
Some men assume that if you approach them, that you are in their back pocket forever. This means that you are the one who has to 'bring it' all the time. That's pretty soul destroying.
It's nice for their male egos. but doesn't do much for the woman's ego.)
You give a man an unmistakable compliment... & he just sits there with the same look my cat has when I rub her chin... Body relaxes, eyes close, & a big closed mouth smile appears. I'm not expecting a compliment back, (I'm not good @ receiving them.) but Fer Pete's Sake ! ! could I get some reaction/feedback!! ! Yup, he's all blissed out. So, it would be great if he didn't just sit there, purring in his own head, SAY SOMETHING!! DO SOMETHING!! (Is he waiting for another compliment? Is he waiting for me to toss him over my shoulder & abduct him?)
He obviously Enjoyed the compliment! But..?
Ummm... I'm done making the 1st move., because you are expected to make all the future moves. Guy's are lazier than I thought these days, & pretty damn egotistical in some cases.
13 Mar 2014, 4:59 pm
13 Mar 2014, 5:03 pm
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