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Sweetleaf
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09 Mar 2014, 11:24 pm

So I got texted by a guy I hung out with, he wants to hang out again and I do to...I kind of blew him off today, as its sunday said he was free today, but its a real b*** to get over there on a sunday by bus. So thinking of texting back to plan to hang out another time this week. Thing is I really don't know if I want to date the guy, don't know if I am ready for a relationship. So don't want to give him the wrong idea but I think it would be fun for us to hang out some more just not sure it would go in the intimate relationship direction or not.

Suppose I just don't know what to do or what to say.


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delaSHANE
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10 Mar 2014, 12:12 am

I think it is great that you have a sense of what you want, even if you are not entirely sure what you want to do about it. Based on what you have expressed, I would say that you should either, nip it in the bud, and end it, at this time, or, if you like him and think that he would make a good friend, perhaps get together with him, again and make a final decision, based on how you see things at that time. If you find yourself sure that you wish for nothing more than friendship, let him know, and see how that plays out. If he is open to that, then great. You have a new friend. If not, do your best to end it, and move forward, immediately following. Not sure if my suggestion fits your circumstances, as well as that of someone else, here, who perhaps knows you. I wish you the best! : )



Sweetleaf
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10 Mar 2014, 1:14 am

I suppose I will have to be honest about how I feel...just wonder how they'll react to, I have lots of mental crap going on and cannot commit to a relationship as I am struggling about whether or not I need to commit myself to a psych ward....just get the feeling I'd be judged since people like to judge people based on such things.


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delaSHANE
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10 Mar 2014, 2:48 am

Do whatever will make your life flow as smoothly as possible. Since you are aware that you may be needing to work on things to improve your health/mental well being, I think you would be wise not to get involved in a relationship at this time. There will be time, when you are most ready, and able to fully enjoy. And, I agree with you about people judging others. You are best off, having nothing extra to contend with, mentally or emotionally, while doing some healing of sorts. Best wishes to you, Sweetleaf!



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10 Mar 2014, 3:17 am

Just be direct and honest with him while you still can since there's no feelings bouncing around and no expectations.


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sly279
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10 Mar 2014, 4:30 am

if you are sure you not ready for a relationship, which it sounds like you don't think you are, I'd tell him that , not needed to include the reason why if you don't want to. I know i'd like it that way, Its painful to go on what I think is a date then feel rejected when told they don't think they are ready for a relationship. If hes cool He'll respect that and hang out.

I would if I could afford to that is. just my thoughts though.

Sorry you having trouble and feeling bad :(

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thewhitrbbit
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10 Mar 2014, 10:37 am

I think most men will be disappointed, but appreciate the direct honestly as opposed to being ignored.