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RiverTamDent42
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25 Apr 2014, 7:21 pm

I have always been the female described as with "a great personality". I am intelligent, funny, kind, helpful, creative, caring...but I am not pretty.
Many times in the past I've met guys who say they love my personality, but when they see my picture or see me in person, very rarely do they look past my face to what they originally liked about me. I have had very few boyfriends because of this.
My issue is whether I should keep trying. I am now 35, with 2 kids, and I'm getting tired of being rejected solely because of my looks.

I'm not going to post a picture, but I will describe myself as I see myself.
I have short brown hair and a heart shaped face with an oversized forehead. I have nicely arched eyebrows and brown eyes. I wear glasses, and my nose is long, narrow, and crooked. I have full lips, small crooked teeth, big gums, and a slight overbite. I have little ears, bad teeth from genetics, a strong jaw and a weak chin.

I have had random strangers make comments on my looks. Multiple guys have barked at me, a guy said out loud in a crowded restaurant that I was "dog s*** ugly", and the best comment I ever received was that I was "weird looking".



Stargazer43
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25 Apr 2014, 7:40 pm

Well if you have 2 kids, someone must have found you attractive! The best advice I can give is that, while there are certain features you can't change, there are plenty that you can. It sounds like almost all of your complaints are related to your teeth...have you visited a dentist or orthodontist to see what can be done? You're probably too old for braces, but it's possible they can do something to straighten your teeth and fix your overbite.

Then there's always the typical advice such as exercise regularly, stay in shape and wear clothes that compliment your appearance. I'm sure that you don't look as bad as you think you do, because usually when I see a post like this the person is far harsher on their appearance than other people are.



hale_bopp
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25 Apr 2014, 11:00 pm

Sounds like you hang around places where people are worse than animals. Everyone gets filth yelled at them though. I've had some horribly nasty things yelled at me over the years.. its unavoidable.

Also If I was you I would avoid trying to meet people on the internet. Get a job at a large company where people are forced to get to know.

You will always have munters who you aren't good enough for.. but remember, they're nothing.

Make sure you always try to present yourself nicely, stylish clothes, groomed air, whether it be cut and coloured, or just with it and not frumpy.
If you have to invest in anything, get your teeth fixed. Wear a bit of make up and earrings, join some clubs for people your age etc.



nick007
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27 Apr 2014, 10:19 pm

You could try looking for guys who are blind or visually impaired. I have vision problems myself(I have a girlfriend) & while I cant speak for the whole visually impaired community looks shouldn't matter as much to them & they tend to have less dating opportunities so having kids may not be as much of a problem, especially if their vision disorder is potentially hereditary; they'd worry about passing their condition on so the woman already having kids means they could still be a dad & she may be less likely to want kids latter on in the relationship. They'd be alot easier to find in a bigger area of coarse but there are different dating sites for people with disabilities or those sympathetic & some guys would be willing to relocate especially if they felt trapped living in a more rural area: I sure felt that way before I moved.


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Geist
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28 Apr 2014, 5:54 am

I'm going to go a slightly different way on advice from others.

It's not what you wear... there are some famous people out there that wear some crazy **** that effects their massive fanbase not in the slightest. It's how you feel and present yourself that is most important.

I'm a dog trainer (this is not a pun on looks - bare with me). Animals see us as we are. They see weakness, they see strength, etc. Humans are no different .. even the oafs who were embarrassing themselves in that restaurant - that to me was obviously their own insecurities, it had nothing to do with you, that was all about rank among their friends (another dog pack reference, but true)

Try something. If you have a video camera film yourself doing an exercise (you don't have to share it, this is for yourself to view so you see how others see yourself) I want you to film yourself walking into your bedroom the way you normally would a shop/or restaurant. --- Next when outside in the hall center yourself. Imagine yourself as a character, a strong person you look up to. Book/movie/historical figure. Imagine yourself as them then walk into your bedroom not as that character but with their strength. Then view the difference. I'm willing to bet it will be noticeable. Try practicing with that strength and hold onto it when you're out in public. Then just see if you get a different reaction from those around you.

With a number of people that have no control over their dogs, it's usually because of a human insecurity. As soon as the handler imagines themselves strong (just body posture will do it, the way they walk, stand, etc.) their dogs no longer feel like they have to take control over a weak owner, but magically fall in to follow their owners lead. The weak look up to the strong. Be calm and strong. It's all frame of mind.



Eccles_the_Mighty
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28 Apr 2014, 9:26 am

Get some professional help, and I'm not talking about a shrink here.

Talk with a makeup artist or a beautician about what to use and where

Sit down with a hairdresser, go through the style books and help select something that suits the shape of your face.

Bite the bullet and go and see a dental surgeon, and you're not the only person with bad teeth around here.

Find a good clothes shop in the center of town, go in when it's quiet and spend some time with a member of staff.

Hit the gym, we could all do with losing a few pounds and a medium to slim figure will help.


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hale_bopp
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28 Apr 2014, 8:11 pm

Geist wrote:
I'm going to go a slightly different way on advice from others.

It's not what you wear... there are some famous people out there that wear some crazy **** that effects their massive fanbase not in the slightest. It's how you feel and present yourself that is most important.

I'm a dog trainer (this is not a pun on looks - bare with me). Animals see us as we are. They see weakness, they see strength, etc. Humans are no different .. even the oafs who were embarrassing themselves in that restaurant - that to me was obviously their own insecurities, it had nothing to do with you, that was all about rank among their friends (another dog pack reference, but true)

Try something. If you have a video camera film yourself doing an exercise (you don't have to share it, this is for yourself to view so you see how others see yourself) I want you to film yourself walking into your bedroom the way you normally would a shop/or restaurant. --- Next when outside in the hall center yourself. Imagine yourself as a character, a strong person you look up to. Book/movie/historical figure. Imagine yourself as them then walk into your bedroom not as that character but with their strength. Then view the difference. I'm willing to bet it will be noticeable. Try practicing with that strength and hold onto it when you're out in public. Then just see if you get a different reaction from those around you.

With a number of people that have no control over their dogs, it's usually because of a human insecurity. As soon as the handler imagines themselves strong (just body posture will do it, the way they walk, stand, etc.) their dogs no longer feel like they have to take control over a weak owner, but magically fall in to follow their owners lead. The weak look up to the strong. Be calm and strong. It's all frame of mind.


This is actually the root of the problem.

Improving looks is mainly to help the OP with achieving this in future.



desertnomad
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28 Apr 2014, 8:17 pm

Pics or GTFO



ReverieMe
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28 Apr 2014, 9:06 pm

One thing I would recommend is to either take the offline route or exchange photos earlier online, perhaps in the beginning. It will cut down on the number of people you're talking to, but those coy, tentative exchanges are largely for people who have more time to whittle away and fewer big responsibilities such as children.

desertnomad wrote:
Pics or GTFO


Rude much?



hale_bopp
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28 Apr 2014, 10:20 pm

desertnomad wrote:
Pics or GTFO


Piss off back to 4chan where you belong.



Uprising
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29 Apr 2014, 12:50 pm

I can feel you on the "being ugly" thing, there seriously is nothing worse nowadays, especially when being a guy and having such thing as autism/aspergers.

It's an underrated type of pain, even today.



Klowglas
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29 Apr 2014, 1:04 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
desertnomad wrote:
Pics or GTFO


Piss off back to 4chan where you belong.



No, 4chan would be "tits or gtfo", this more like reddit I think, it's more tame.



hale_bopp
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29 Apr 2014, 8:00 pm

Klowglas wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
desertnomad wrote:
Pics or GTFO


Piss off back to 4chan where you belong.



No, 4chan would be "tits or gtfo", this more like reddit I think, it's more tame.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



AspieOtaku
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30 Apr 2014, 1:37 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
desertnomad wrote:
Pics or GTFO


Piss off back to 4chan where you belong.



No, 4chan would be "tits or gtfo", this more like reddit I think, it's more tame.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Its usually Tits or GTFO and Pics or it didn't happen when it comes to 4chan.


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30 Apr 2014, 9:35 am

I've seen many many people find love.