That Girl on the Bus...

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Okay I got to ask how this can work for me.

After I get out of work, I get on a bus right outside of my work and it leads to a lot where I am parked. It only takes about 5 minutes and there is a constant wave of buses, say 1 every 10 mins. that leaves to go to the lot.

Well a couple days this week I have been noticing this girl that looks to be around my age (early 20's) that has been coming on the same bus as me and she is stunning. She isn't on the bus everyday but this week it was 2 consecutive days. There are 2 problems:

1. I'm not sure how many more times I will see her. Wednesday could of been the last time.
and
2. She is always wearing headphones and just sits by herself.

I haven't tried smiling at her yet as she walks past me on the bus, but I'm just trying to think of how I can approach her since she is always wearing headphones. She sat behind me one day and I was hoping to hear what she was listening to so I could strike up a conversation but it was just barely audible. I also need to note that the bus I take usually only has 10-15 people on it and no one is ever talking.

Where I work there really isn't too many people in their early 20's as well, so it's hard to find someone. Outside of work, I really don't know where else to look. I don't have any girls that are friends and most of my friends only expose me to their girlfriend, if they have one. I never meet single girls anywhere and when my friends try to help something stupid always happens (see previous posts, lol)

I don't know, what do you suggest I do. I really want to go for it, I'm getting sick and tired of sitting back and not talking to girls I really find attractive. I'm just not sure in which way I can do it without looking like a creep. If only she didn't always wear her headphones!! !

She very likely doesn't want anyone to talk to her. That is one reason why some people constantly wear headphones.

Well I've only seen her 3 or 4 times. Once a while ago and the 2x this week. She could be shy because she doesn't know anyone on the bus I'm on. Everyone but me and her are old.

But that is an accurate (hopefully not true) statement but regardless of if that's the case or not, I want to talk to her. I'm sure if someone desires talking to her they would find a way to do so, at least someone confident enough. I keep making up excuses not to approach girls I wanna talk to and then dream about what could of happened.

Never approach a girl wearing headphones.

Even tho, one time a girl was sad because I never approached her yet she always wore big red headset all the time. LOL And she always wondered why guys never approach her.

But still, headphones = no approach, and if it happens that she thinks she deserves to be approached even while wearing headphones then she's messed up in the head and doesn't deserve to be approached.

As a habitual "I have my earphones in. That's a signal that I don't want to talk to you" person, I should like to expand this to don't approach anyone with a headphones thing going on.

Them: [Muffled, cos I'm listening to something]
Me: [Fumbling for MP3 player to pause thing I'm listening to, which is either a song I'm trying to get lost in or a podcast/lecture/audiobook I'm trying to pay attention to, and removing an earphone] Sorry, what?
Them: How are you?
Me: [Thinking: trying to avoid talking to anyone] Oh, fine. [Smiles, turns and/or walks away, pointedly fidgets with MP3 player]



1. Smile at her. See if she smiles back. If she does't, leave her be. If she does, that could be welcoming or it could be reflexive/politeness. Try and work out which.
2. If the situation is such that there are no other wholly empty seats, but the seat next to her is free, join her. If she pointedly looks away from you and her body language is closed, reciprocate and leave her be.

In this case, eye contact -from a bit of a distance, before either of you speak. If she catches your eye and looks at you like you're a real person that means she hasn't shut you out, yet.

If she doesn't, that means she's most likely in a relationship she's happy enough with and it's nothing personal she's just trying to avoid giving the impression that she's hunting for a new man.

She will not be positively responsive to any new man unless there's a possible exception of a powerful and famous person she recognizes.

Just smile.

If she doesn't return it - don't bother
If she doesn't take her headphones out, don't bother

You don't even know if she's single, or shy, everyone wears headphones these days.

There's about 800,000 kinds of return smiles that can mean, "Leave me the hell alone."
It's a social rule to return a smile, so you better figure out what that return "smile" is really saying, if you want to go that route.

I was in a similar situation. When i talked to her, it turned out we used to be in the same grade in middle school till she went to home school. She ended up being really christian, didn't talk a lot when I talked to her, and when I ended up asking for her phone number she refused and just went home.

That was about it dude. She clearly didn't want to be with me. I can't say your expierence will be the same if you talk to her, but if you do she'll probably just politely refuse, like the girl I met did.

That would be a good start, and save you disappointment in case she is not interested.

Obviously if you try to say something she won't hear you. So you can try to gently touch her, on the elbow or something to get her to take her headphone off.

Approaching someone in public transit has got to be the hardest thing ever. If you pull it off that would be impressive.

If a girl catches me eye at the gym while I have my headphones on, I will not only return the smile but more importantly will avoid putting my headphones on right away if I see her again and give her an opportunity to say hello. If she doesn't have them on, thats your signal if not leave her alone. Simple as that.