Emotions

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So I have a boyfriend or something now I guess; it's all very confusing to me. He has a lot of emotions. Strong emotions, and complex emotions. He has people he loves, people he hates, people he loves and hates at the same time, he has enemies, exes, he has some seriously bizarre (though admittedly interesting and fun) sexual fetishes, has little shame in daily life but says his memories are "mostly shame based;" he is very very interesting.

He causes me to feel strong emotions, and it's difficult. These strong emotions cause my brain to freeze up, like a computer freezes. My brain gets all mixed up and I can't think nearly as efficiently. It can make me angry at times, not being able to understand what my brain is doing; why it's mixing up information and causing me to have these emotions that I don't recognize and don't know how to express or handle. Sometimes it just makes me silly. It makes me out of my mind, like I'm receiving information from somewhere else to tell me what to do with my emotions and what they are. This is the most bizarre feeling. I can talk to him like an NT and already know what to say and do without thinking about it. But that is rare.

At night he tends to become affectionate. He has emotions in his eyes. If I look into his eyes, I can feel them. I can feel love. But it frightens me. When he looks at me with love, I can't look very long; I quickly become overwhelmed and afraid and look away. I feel flushed. My face feels warm. It feels good but it is an intense feeling.

Sometimes he can get upset about things I don't understand. He'll try to explain them to me, but I often feel like I'm just missing something fundamental. Or sometimes he will tell me about something he's done or something he thinks, and then will say he hopes I'm not upset by it. This is extremely confusing to me. It automatically makes me wonder if there's something I'm missing there, something I aught to be upset by.

Touch is an incredibly overwhelming thing for me. But in a good way. But still so intense.

I'm not really seeking any specific advice here, I just pretty much feeling like venting to some people who may be able to relate to the emotionally overwhelming nature of a relationship. We're both 21, but this is a first for me.

Also, all of his previous relationships were with girls who aren't so lost in this world as I am. They understand sex, know what it means to be sexy and sociable, they are all "hot," and I'm kinda just really into computers and am constantly stumbling through social interactions. This makes me feel rather inadequate. I'm not sure why he picked me of all people, someone who lost her virginity at age 20 and has never had a boyfriend; someone who is too overwhelmed by the feeling of love to express it.

There is no need to feel inadequate. If he is with you, he's into you. Just be yourself! The Squid however suggests, that if he is making you uncomfortable with his emotions, perhaps you should slightly space your visits with him out a bit? Give yourself some down time to reset so you don't overload. Again, if he is into you, he will understand. It might not hurt for you to express to him, what you've just told us. If he does not already know, now may be a good time to tell him about your aspieness. Judging by your current relationship, he will overlook it, but have more understanding of you.

Communication is key with whatever you're feeling. It's important you tell him how you feel so he can respect your boundaries and work towards a comfortable relationship, otherwise he could just assume you're okay with it and keep pushing your boundaries - that never ends well, usually ends with meltdowns and someone losing their feelings. Never just assume he knows, and never assume he's going to just figure it out, you have to communicate to have a successful relationship.