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jerry00
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24 May 2014, 4:06 am

Can't seem to get a girl interested in me in the slightest.



hale_bopp
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24 May 2014, 5:02 am

Are you trying very hard? Online dating doesn't count.



886
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24 May 2014, 6:30 am

Have you considered being more interesting? :wink:


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sly279
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24 May 2014, 4:09 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Are you trying very hard? Online dating doesn't count.


why doesn't it?

I've read a few articles that say online dating is becoming the norm for most people in our busy society where people interact more and more on tablets and smart phones.



Klowglas
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24 May 2014, 5:08 pm

Are you using a giant butterfly-net because i think that's how you do it.



SoftwareEngineer
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25 May 2014, 1:53 am

Hi Jerry,

Sit on uncle Rob's knee for a paragraph and I'll give you some pointers.

For many years, I was unaware that I was autistic and obliviously behaved like I fit in and was like everyone else. It actually worked very well. After learning that I am autistic, things changed, for a while. I tried to be mindful of my autism, be extra considerate, and I did everything I could to compensate for my autism. Guess what? Things got worse. When I simply proceeded obliviously, I got dates and had girlfriends for years. We had fun, laughed, and Im sure my autism was just seen as an eccentric and interesting oddity. You can do the same. As best you can, forget about your autism and shamelessly proceed as if you are as good as anyone else, because you are. Attitude and self-concept count. Good luck!



886
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25 May 2014, 6:39 am

sly279 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Are you trying very hard? Online dating doesn't count.


why doesn't it?

I've read a few articles that say online dating is becoming the norm for most people in our busy society where people interact more and more on tablets and smart phones.


It doesn't because you're communicating solely with a keyboard, and you have time to think about what you're saying. In person, when you have body language, no time to delete what you said because you didn't like how it sounded, chemistry, and many other factors - it's an entirely different scenario. You cannot base a social life solely with technology, especially with dating.

Online dating is becoming the norm because most people, like myself, either work 12 hours a day (or night) or have school, or other responsibilities that keep them from just going out and meeting someone.


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sly279
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25 May 2014, 6:08 pm

886 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Are you trying very hard? Online dating doesn't count.


why doesn't it?

I've read a few articles that say online dating is becoming the norm for most people in our busy society where people interact more and more on tablets and smart phones.


It doesn't because you're communicating solely with a keyboard, and you have time to think about what you're saying. In person, when you have body language, no time to delete what you said because you didn't like how it sounded, chemistry, and many other factors - it's an entirely different scenario. You cannot base a social life solely with technology, especially with dating.

Online dating is becoming the norm because most people, like myself, either work 12 hours a day (or night) or have school, or other responsibilities that keep them from just going out and meeting someone.


that doesn't really explain why it doesn't count and hanging out at a bar approaching random women repeatable would. both are just ways of finding someone. online dating is hardly done online, its just a way of finding the person then meeting up with them. Most messaging i've done has been rapid, so no time to delete it.

I think it counts just as much as other forms of dating. It certainly connects one to possible partners better. if one went to bars, clubs and such to find someone, but say your match instead went to a different club or prefers book stores. or if they are in the next city over.

I view traditional date finding to be more of a random shot in the dark. going around trying to ask any which person out based only on looks. ugh sounds horrible and more likely to lead to horrible dates.

it shouldn't be called online dating cause the actually dates aren't done online. though i can't think of a better word for it, they are just social sites for people who are seeking a romantic relationship. I feel that the internet has not only improved dating but other social stuff such as political gatherings, protests, social meet ups of people with similar interest, etc. before you'd have to just randomly stubble upon say a club of card game players now one can find them on line with info for meet ups. this site even is a prime example. How would we have found each other in rl? a lot of us seem normal in person, and we tend to be introverts.

ways of meeting people
random encounters (not likely to lead to romantic relationship, challangeing for people unable to read people or see flirts)
introduced via friends/coworkers(requires friends/coworkers, requires said people to want to introduce you)
clubs/bars/concerts. (Inoverts are less likely to attend, requires reading people, a crap shoot of possible negative results) it
also seems more for people wanting sex atleast that is how i've heard of it.
dating site (info availible, know they are single, some of the time know they are interested in you, able to start
conversations safely and find out if you want to meet up.)
speed dating/singles events. (not many in my area and similar problems as the others)

I would think any work in any of the possible ways to meet people would count as trying hard.

its like people saying that you not going store to store doing applications isn't trying, while in todays market most stores have their applications online and don't give out paper ones. those people are stuck in the past of how things were done.

that said if one enjoys clubs, concerts, bars etch then go have fun and if you see a a person ask them out if you feel like it. I just don't see the point of hitting the street looking for a partner as the main and only way that counts. its one system but not for everyone.

EDIT: I just wanted to add i don't believe in mixing work with friendship/romance. I stay clear of that. I don't want a failed friendship/relationship leading to me losing my job.