How to appear more open and less aloof

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I am a 22 year old woman who will be starting my PhD in theoretical physics in the fall. I have suspected that I have aspergers for the past few years as it could potentially a lot of my personality/life experiences. I've never been diagnosed (which I think is a good thing as it wouldn't have changed my life other than to possibly attach me to the stigma surrounding it). That being said, while I just am starting to feel confident and comfortable in my social life, I still have a lot of questions regarding how I should go about pursuing a romantic relationship. I just think it would be nice to have a companion that I have special feelings for

I have never been in a relationship partially by choice and partially because I just haven't found the right person. Since I am in physics, I am mostly friends with guys. While it seems (from what I have heard) that some of my male friends have been attracted to me at some point it usually takes me a long time to tell.

I set up an Okcupid account as an experiment to see how people would react to my online profile. I was surprised at how people messaged me expressing very positive impressions from my profile. This leads me to believe that I may either appear as aloof/unapproachable in person or am having trouble gauging romantic interest. I have trouble reading positive social cues. I can read negative ones very well (although I may be reading a lot of positive or neutral cues as negative ones), but it seems that part of my trouble involving relationships and fitting in with groups might be due to not reading positive cues. I never felt that I was likable in the past, but for the first time in my life, I feel that people like me and think I am a good person.

Usually the men I am attracted to are professors who are in their mid thirties. I think it's kind of odd, but I am rarely attracted to men my own age. I don't know why this is.

I have heard from a few of my older female friends that guys may find me intimidating. So I guess the questions I would like to ask are how do I make myself seem more approachable and open to having a romantic relationship? How can I tell that someone is interested in me and how should I act if this is the case?

I want to know the answer to this too. I relate to everything you wrote, only didifference is I'm not doing a physics PhD.

Classic! If you are autistic, you probably have little or no ability to transmit or receive non-verbal communications. Because of traditions and bashfulness, most romantic overtures are radiated non-verbally. You don't radiate that stuff and you can't interpret the signals from others. I'm the same way. Just learn to make a few statements that compensate and ask a few leading questions - that is what the neurotypical people do non-verbally.

Also, do you have eye contact issues? Some autistics have an "avoidant gaze" while others, like me, have the "direct-eye gaze."

You seem like a most attractive person.

One of my ideals is a pretty woman who just so happens to be a Quantum Physicist!

I don't think it's odd that men in their 30's are attracted to you; that sort of attraction is common, actually.

I believe: if you don't want to seem distant, just ask about a guy's interest--creative-artistic, especially.

I know it would be great if you found a 22 year-old Carl Sagan! I truly hope you do.

I think what may be preventing me from romantic cues is that I don't read body language well. I mainly read people by tone of voice the types of responses they give. This works fine when I am trying to tell if someone is interested in having a conversation/spend time with me but I think it makes me miss a lot of the subtleties. I guess I am so afraid/used to rejection that I take any gesture I have trouble reading to be a negative.

I think this causes me to miss when people are flirting with me as well. I either think that that's how a guy talks to everyone or we are just having an interesting conversation. I was having a conversation with a guy at a house party once in which he was asking me about physics. I usually try to stay away from talking about myself and my interests (since I don't want to monopolize the conversation) unless people pry and I thought he just seemed to be interested. Then my friend later told me that he was majorly hitting on me. I just thought we were having a good conversation. How do you tell the difference between the two?

I've reached a point where I think I can fit in very well among the people I socialize with. They range from very shy to more outspoken and social but are mostly involved in science. It seems that I am now the one that feels awkward. Quite a few people I have met have commented that they are surprised I have never had a boyfriend. This makes me feel like I am getting very close but still need a bit more help in reading positive social cues. Is there a way to get better at reading body language to help me understand how to deal with all of this?