Joined eHarmony and Got Swamped with Messages!

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I swore I would never do online dating again but my brother suggested I give it one last try. After less than two days, I have already received 6(!) different communication requests and I know of a couple from real life so they aren't scammers or plants from the website. That's more messages than I got almost an entire year on OKCupid and the same number I got after three months on my last eHarmony experience a few years ago.

It is obscenely expensive but I am willing to try one month to see. I couldn't help but notice all the women who contacted me are my age or older too. Who would have thought: being myself and listening to real happily married women might actually have paid off Even though none seem like an obvious match, I am going to further take the advice given and respond to each and every one of them and see where it leads. Who would have thought eHarmony would have been so different than the other sites. I did find with the smaller number of matches to go through I read each profile very carefully so maybe that explains the incredible difference from OKCupid. Either way, it was a pleasant surprise to say the least.

Last edited by GiantHockeyFan on 10 Jun 2014, 6:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've recently joined eHarmony as well, but I really can't say I've had your success. For your search parameters, what age bracket did you use? Let's just say the age bracket I used would probably avoid me being called shallow by women--barely.

Congratulations on your success. Maybe it'll rub off on me.

Hope it stays like that for you till you find someone.
For me, I got spawmed with messages on okcupid when I experimented with a shirtless pic of mine - but if there are only same active faces in your geographical area, and if you don't find a good match among those and if there's no enough flux of new faces, then eventually you get exponentially less matches and messages after a while.

Most women don't stay too long on dating sites, they either find someone fast, or they get fed up by the tons of one word messages and quit.

The price of that site scared me away...I don't really see why I should pay for it when other sites offer the same thing for free (and when it has no guarantee of success)

I actually find the opposite: when I do a search in my area, it's been almost the exact same people that show up since I joined lol.

Thanks. It may lead nowhere but at least I'm getting attention from quality women. I chose 24-35 as my age parameters but my contacts are 30-36. One was actually a woman I was matched up with 2 1/2 years ago so I will contact her too. I've actually met her outside of dating and she is pretty decent too.


That's why I chose eHarmony. Many women probably feel more comfortable because you cannot search yourself and there are probably a lot less guys as well as their "guided communication" process that makes women more likely to initiate. I've heard complaints about few matches but I have to admit just like last time I've got a pretty good selection. Wish me luck....

Me too but most of female new users disappear quickly.

Those same faces glued there are few.

Are you getting guided communications or are they skipping write to email?

They are all doing Guided communications except one who just sent an icebreaker: understandable since I did reject her (prematurely) last time. I think it's a little silly but if that's what it takes to get them to contact me or be comfortable I am the real deal so be it. Besides, I am trying to hold off paying for membership as long as possible to get the most out of my month as you have to subscribe to send email on there. I have decided to not be picky and not say no to any reasonable request and see where that leads.

I theorize that my profile is 'too good' for free sites and puts women on the defensive. I can hear them now "this guy is WAY too good to need a dating site: he must be lying somehow." or they get too intimidated because I am rather blunt on my profile. On eHarmony they tend to take it more seriously given the financial investment although it is ridiculously overpriced I am running out of options at this point. Unfortunately, I cannot put on my profile that I would have been taken years ago if not for having Aspergers and being totally oblivious to subtle cues.
Update: I just got 3 more in the past ten minutes. I literally can't keep up with the contacts! What the heck did I do all of a sudden?