Need help involving sex

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Hey Everybody. I am doing this because I am in a tight bind and need help figuring this out.

I have a girlfriend I love with all my heart and soul. I would do everything for her, I love her more than anything imaginable. I am autistic with aspergers, and she isn't autistic at all. After our first 10 months together I moved across country to be with her and we have an apartment together and I couldn't be happier. We've been living together for about 2 months now. Here is where we get to the problem though.

When I first got out here everything was awesome. We love eachother, hold eachother, have awesome sex (i was basically a virgin still when i got out here). After about a month I stopped being able to cum and orgasm when we were making love. After 2 months, I no longer get hard. I love her more than I can explain, shes the love of my life. But the fact I no longer get hard is tearing us apart. She no longer thinks I am attracted to her. Because of this and our last attempt, she says she will remain my girlfriend but we wont be intimate. I need help figuring out why I cant get hard for her anymore. Please help, I cant lose her, it would tear me apart if I did lose her.

Thanks for all the help, in advance

Maybe you were having sex to much and you have used up all of your little soldiers?
Leave it for a week or two until you are so desperate that the word "and" will give you the horn, then try again.

There are things that could effect your performance and cause you to not be able to perform at all.

Maybe you have some stress in your life, or you are not getting any sleep? Maybe you had one bad experience with her sexually where you couldn't perform because, as the post above us mentioned, you had too much sex and just couldn't physically do so? After that it would be psychological, because of the bad experience, you are now tense and afraid and it's ruining your sexual performance all together.

Cutting sex out of the relationship entirely seems like a bad idea, I hope your girlfriend will reconsider. I think waiting two or three days would be a good idea. Sorry to be so personal, but if you masturbate, you should stop and allow your body to regenerate. I think you'd find your sexual performance would come back pretty quickly.

Also, there are now over the counter pills that, as long as you are medically healthy and have a strong heart, can help you to get and sustain an erection. If you don't masturbate and wait a couple of days, you'll have no problem orgasming.

Also, you might want to buy her some flowers to let her know you care, and want to continue your sexual relationship (she'll be able to read between the lines, you don't have to say THAT).

Thanks For the replies. Ill wait a few days and look into the pills. Hopefully it helps. I appreciate all the feedback so far and hope they will work.

Any other tips or opinions would still be appreciated.

Avoid porn.
With porn you get to constantly feed your excitement with new images, you are now stuck with just the one image, your girlfriend, you need to make her your porn.

Chances are it's stress induced and the more pressure you put on yourself the worse it gets. Once you relax things will return to normal.

My only guess would be stress / anxiety, or side affects from a medication, or combination of medications

This is very likely totally fixable. I would head to the doctors pronto and see what modern medicine and perhaps psychology and similar can do. Doing so will show your gf that you really do have a medical issue (even if psychological) and are very serious about getting well as soon as possible. This will hopefully reassure her its not lack of attraction on your part.

Also double up on demonstrating love.

Not much I can add. I agree with everyone, give your body a break then talk to a doctor. Also make sure you show her you do still care.

And it might not be a bad idea to keep her 'happy' until you do figure it out. Your little soldier may not stand at attention but you can use other means to take care of her while you work on the problem, hands and mouth, toys, what ever it takes.

Sounds like Erectile Dysfunction. See a doctor. Get checked for blood pressure issues. Failing that, it may be caused by stress and performance anxiety (for which you may get therapy). If you're making an effort to fix it, then she should recognize that.

Basically, what businezguy, Toy_Soldier, and Halfmadgenius are saying. If you're at least able to be turned on (even if you can't get an erection), remember that you still have hands, a mouth, and creativity.

As someone who has been where your girlfriend is right now, here's my advice.

1. Remind her that you're attracted to her. Say nice things. Do nice things. Her self-esteem will also be taking a hit. Not being wanted by a man who is supposed to love you in a world that tells you that 'all men want it all the time' hurts. Even if you do want her, it will feel to her like you don't.

2. Do what you can to 'fix' the situation. Be proactive in seeking medical help or psychological help. And let her know that you're doing this. This can be embarrassing, I know, but she needs to see evidence that you're taking action to work on the relationship. I'd be willing to bet $$ that this is psychological rather than medical, but both are worth investigating and the fact that it's psychological doesn't make it 'lesser' or make you crackers. If it looks like you don't care about this - and I can see that you do care about this - then it will make her feel like you don't care about her.

3. Keep sex alive. Fingers never go soft. Let her know that you value and care for her sexual needs and desires.

4. NEVER. EVER. EVER. - even in your darkest moments blame HER for your problem. We're all prone to doing this when we're hurting, but really TRY not to do this. Wounding comments can't be unsaid. If you do make a comment like that, apologise.

5. Stay away from the porn. Don't masturbate. If you must masturbate, don't get caught. One of the most hurtful things that my husband did was prefer masturbation to sex with me. I felt cheated on. I felt betrayed. I felt that he wasn't willing to work on our sexual problems because he was getting it on with himself. I have no problem with masturbation - it's a GOOD THING - but when your sexual partner can't get it on with you but seems to have no problem on his own, it hurts.

6. Don't let other aspects of your relationship flounder. Try not to close yourself off. Keep doing the fun things and keep doing the not fun things like chores.

7. Keep affection alive. Keep touching and hugging at your usual level.

Thanks everyone for these tips. I will be seeing a doctor today to see what the results are. We have talked to a close friend of hers, who is a sex therapist (in training i think), she said it sounds like its entirely stress. I have been staying away from porn. All the advise has helped a lot. I thank you all for your time and input.

I agree with my girlfriend and her friend that it is stress. New job, triple the hours of my previous job, going from dealing with no one to dealing with customers. Being autistic makes it difficult for me to understand these stress feelings, I feel fine but I know they are probably 100% correct about the stress.

I reassure her every day I love her. I hug, hold, kiss, rub, etc. her several times a day. We still sleep together at night, but we are holding off on the sex because not keeping it up is hurting us both. I have also reassured her several times that she is not the problem. I have told her this is my fault and am trying to fix it, and I hope I can get it fixed.

Exactly too much porn desensitizes you and you eventually have a harder time getting aroused because its like been there done that its not as exicting or arousing anymore kinda deal.