Can a first relationship work?

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IncredibleFrog
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19 Jun 2014, 6:42 pm

Hello. I posted here awhile back asking if I should tell my best friend with aspergers that I am romantically interested in him, and everyone said yes. I haven't told him yet, but I decided I want to tell him next time I see him (probably in a week).

I'm pretty confident he will say yes, but I'm still nervous. Neither of us have ever dated before, and so many people say first relationships never work out. I don't want us to go out for awhile, just to break up and stop being friends. I really want to think things will work, since we know each other so well, and we have even found that we want the same things in a life, as far as things like money, work, kids, and marriage go. We are very honest and direct with each other. But I'm worried that we don't have the perspective that comes from dating other people.

Do you think things can work out between us?



kraftiekortie
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19 Jun 2014, 6:59 pm

Why not?



IncredibleFrog
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19 Jun 2014, 7:01 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Why not?


I've just heard it said so often that first relationships can't work out, because neither person has dated enough to know what they are looking for in a partner. But, I already think I know, I don't see why I have to date around to figure that out.



SockySockington
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19 Jun 2014, 7:17 pm

I'm marrying my first relationship person this August. We've worked through every problem with each other and don't plan on ever splitting up.



IncredibleFrog
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19 Jun 2014, 7:24 pm

SockySockington wrote:
I'm marrying my first relationship person this August. We've worked through every problem with each other and don't plan on ever splitting up.


Congratulations! I'm happy to hear that.



cberg
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19 Jun 2014, 8:30 pm

IncredibleFrog wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why not?


I've just heard it said so often that first relationships can't work out, because neither person has dated enough to know what they are looking for in a partner. But, I already think I know, I don't see why I have to date around to figure that out.


I can keep wrapping quotes but I think you have this worked out.


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IncredibleFrog
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19 Jun 2014, 8:50 pm

cberg wrote:
IncredibleFrog wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why not?


I've just heard it said so often that first relationships can't work out, because neither person has dated enough to know what they are looking for in a partner. But, I already think I know, I don't see why I have to date around to figure that out.


I can keep wrapping quotes but I think you have this worked out.


Your profile picture is adorable.



goldfish21
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19 Jun 2014, 10:35 pm

Sure it could. Anything is possible. 8)


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wozeree
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19 Jun 2014, 10:37 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Sure it could. Anything is possible. 8)


Ahhhh! Still waiting for the wedding invitation! :D



SoftwareEngineer
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19 Jun 2014, 10:52 pm

Your first relationship can work, but it also going to be a huge learning experience, so be optimistic, but don't rush into anything.



FireyInspiration
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19 Jun 2014, 11:12 pm

First relationships usually don't work because most people start dating very young, and immature, leading to many mistakes due to immaturity and lack of social experience. Adult relationships often last much longer than teenage ones as both parties are more mature and understanding of each other as adults, and the relationships started are often more compatibility based and not purely physical attraction (although physical attraction will always play a part). IF both of you are compatible and unit is understanding of each other and have the maturity, it is very possible to have a first relationship last a life time.



goldfish21
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19 Jun 2014, 11:24 pm

wozeree wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Sure it could. Anything is possible. 8)


Ahhhh! Still waiting for the wedding invitation! :D


:)

Oh how I wish I were sending them out! :P


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newageretrohippie
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20 Jun 2014, 2:26 am

IncredibleFrog wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why not?


I've just heard it said so often that first relationships can't work out, because neither person has dated enough to know what they are looking for in a partner. But, I already think I know, I don't see why I have to date around to figure that out.


This. I know what I want, and I have never had even one date in my life. Yet pretty much every woman refuses to date a guy like me because I haven't dated....How is a guy like me considered unworthy when a guy who's had a lot of relationships could have serious issues that should raise a few red flags ( criminal record, drugs, lack of caring about partner, etc )?


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Deuterium
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20 Jun 2014, 4:44 am

@newageretrohippie: Who cares if someone denies you because you haven't been in a relationship, I don't see why you'd want to date someone who counted it against you to begin with. There are plenty of people who don't care about that. If people are telling you that is their reasoning then it is likely a cover-up for reasoning they don't want to admit.



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20 Jun 2014, 5:00 am

IncredibleFrog wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why not?


I've just heard it said so often that first relationships can't work out,


You're right, they can't. We might as well all never find a partner, die alone and never re-produce and make humanity extinct.

...or, we can take risks, learn to love and be loved and just have a good time.


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SabbraCadabra
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20 Jun 2014, 5:09 am

It probably depends on how old you are, also.

I have one friend who married his first girlfriend, and they seem alright...except they never hang out with friends anymore =(

Another friend is about to be in a similar situation, but they haven't become a hermit (yet?).


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