Really Not Sure About What Is Going On.....

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Hi, all. So, I find myself in a very odd situation, even by my standards. So I'll start from the beginning.

Firstly, me and this woman went to school together and were good friends. Like all high school friendships, it sort of dried up after graduation, and even though I intended to stay in contact with her, I didn't. When I moved back to Logan after a year and a half in Provo (I'm from Utah, though not Mormon) I figured that, like most of our classmates, she was already married with at least one kid. Up until recently, it was a fair assumption since most LDS/Mormon women have married before 21-22. Around the end of 2012 I found that she was not married and, with a phone call to her parents' house, found out she was still living at home. (Please note I've suspected she has AS as well, and have since we were in high school).

So, I worked up my courage and asked her out for drinks the last week of January 2013. She agreed to meet up and asked me to call back the next week so we could finalize plans. When I got a hold of her the next week, she had to cancel as her (at the time) boyfriend was not feeling comfortable. She mentioned a few things on the phone that implied she wasn't sure the relationship would last, but she wanted to respect his wishes. I agreed, and fumed for a few days before entering a depressive cycle. I pulled out of it, realized I may have sounded bitter on the phone, and wrote to her (she had said on the phone she would have loved receiving a hand-written letter) apologizing. She wrote back sayin she thought she should apologize. We started a correspondence, and I overstepped a few things, but she forgave me on that and we continued writing to one another. I tried to meet up with her on occasion, but only managed to meet her Dad, her sister, and finally her boyfriend.

When I spoke with her boyfriend (if he is even that considering what he said) he told me that she spends most nights at her parents' house and he rarely sees her. He does landscaping, works for a company, and she has a full-time job. Housing in Logan is not badly priced, so with those two jobs they have they'd be able to get a decent 1 bedroom. Her boyfriend mentions that they only found one place that was interesting, and that it was a 2-bedroom before saying that it didn't work out. I am now friends with her on Facebook and she has continued to give me compliments, and in her most recent message apologized for the length of time it takes her to write back as well as saying "I've been thinking about you and wanting to respond".

Now, as far as I know, there's no where in fiction or reality the words "I've been thinking about you" are used in a platonic fashion, but I wasn't sure so I thought I'd post this, see if anyone had some advice.

The funniest aspect of this whole thing is that she and I live in the same town. I can get up to her parents home within an hour if I feel like it, but I don't out of respect for not knowing where we stand.

So, if anyone could give some insight here, it'd be great.....

I'm really, really confused. Why are you chasing a chick that has a boyfriend? Why have you been chasing this chick for a year and a half? How are you jumping through so many hoops to run into her dad, sister, boyfriend, and not her? That's pretty unhealthy and damn near stalker status man.

Regardless, if she's still talking to you despite all that, and she's apparently single now, there's no harm in asking her to meet up. But you gotta relax, man. Seriously. Obsessing over someone like that will only hurt you in the long run. But then again, dating for mormons is an entirely different game.

Tell her the truth - you're interested in a relationship with her, but she's not available. Tell her to let you know if that changes.
You need to be THAT straightforward if she really is an aspie. She's not going to take a hint.
Sounds like the bf sees her as a booty call.

She already knows the truth. So it's more a matter of playing the 'waiting game'. She herself is not LDS (which is one of the reasons I'm even bothering with trying to see her even as a friend, much less something more) but the one thing I know is standing in the way as far as her and the boyfrriend are concerned is that she apparently wants a commitment for marriage at some point and he has commitment issues. Right now, I just send her daily messages on Facebook, litttle humorous anecdotes, since she battles depression.

886 - I wasn't jumping through hoops, as you put it, to meet up with her dad, sister, and boyfriend. I was trying to meet up with her. My timing just sucks completely. It always has.

If she knows how you feel and she's still with the bf, that's your answer. Continuing to hang around only strokes her ego at the expense of yours, and keeps you from moving on. If she was a truly kind person, she wouldn't speak to you anymore.

"I've been thinking about you" is standard for busy people who've been meaning to write. It doesn't mean she wants to leap into your arms.

If she's interested, she'll tell you. Stop overanalyzing her relationship with her boyfriend, their living arrangement, etc.

You are just a plan B for her (or maybe C, D...Z).

Or worse just a spare unit in case of any lack from her bf (ie. emotion support, compliment...wtv..) that she would never consider it to have it full time.