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Jediyoda
Deinonychus
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Joined: 1 Jul 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 354
Location: Brisbane Queensland

01 Jul 2014, 3:20 am

Hello everyone. I need some advice on whether to take the next step with this man and to know whether he maybe sending me mixed signals which have been confusing me. The gentleman in question is my neighbour two doors down from me we met 2 years ago and only just said hello on our way down the driveway to our units until just recently when we started having trouble with my nextdoor neighbour that we started talking and slowly getting to know each other. He is 46 he has never been married or had children he is extremely shy, Inward, Introverted, very sensitive and very quiet he is a nice guy with a big heart very supportive, caring, afficent and friendly. I regularly goto his door and check on him just to see if he is ok. I went to his door one evening because I was having trouble getting past a certain part in an xbox game Wolfenstein New Order he came over and helped me he was extremely nervous and uncomfortable and couldn't stop walking around and playing with my figurines he said sorry if he was to act inappropriate because he had just had some alcohol because he was getting a cold and then started asking me questions about how old I am about my family then he asked me if it was ok that he could go out and have a cigarette he also called me darling and he was so nervous that he couldn't put the lid onto the chammy case that I had to put the lid on.

There have been situations after this when I have gone to his door to check on him and he has been very nervous and uncomfortable and not talk to long and he has been very formal and he has asked who is at his door. Only in the last couple of weeks has he started to get comfortable with me and when I now knock on his door he opens his door straight away with a smile ear to ear happy to see me and talks to me for ages he also calls me darling and just a few days ago he called me my love for the first time. He also came to my unit one day and said I have always been nice to him and given him the time of day when others haven't and if there is any problem's with my nextdoor neighbour that I was to knock on his window and he would let me sleep on his couch and that he would not do anything inappropriate. He also wrote a letter about my nextdoor neighbour and went to my nextdoor neighbour's door and banged on on her door when she was bullying me and coped a barage of abuse from my neighbour he said to me a couple of days later I bet it was quiet the next day I said yes and he said good. Last week he finally stood right in front of me his face was near mine instead of standing a mile away from me and constantly walking around while we talk he also finally met my brother the other day he came to my door due to the fact I wrote him a letter apologizing for being so blunt to him the other day while having a panic attack. I felt so horrible he goes I don't annoy him, he also asked who the two people were standing near my unit and who owned the red car I said it was my brother and his fiancée he asked me if he could met my brother and was he busy I said he could met him which he did my brother said that he looked shocked that he even existed and very uncomfortable and nervous he has also met three of my friends. The one thing though he has never asked for my phone number and as I found out he doesn't like people writing letters to him either. He has also told my friend and I that he has been bullied and abused alot worse than my nextdoor neighbour did to him that night. I really don't know what to do now Im confused.



kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

01 Jul 2014, 7:26 am

Does he drink alcohol frequently? I'd be worried about that. Alcohol, at times, doesn't do nice things to people in many ways.

He also seemed hypervigilant about the red car and its occupants. I would guess he was in "neighbourhood watch mode"--or possibly this is a sign of possessiveness? Maybe he thought you had another boyfriend, and he wasn't happy about that?

Is there an actual "chemistry" between you two--or do you feel like he's just a friend?

I certainly hope all goes well between the two of you. I hope there isn't a "true colors" for this guy to show.

I'd say: give it a shot, but have a plan in case this doesn't work out.



MjrMajorMajor
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Joined: 15 Jan 2012
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Posts: 8,816

01 Jul 2014, 9:39 am

Try taking to him about it. Since he's a neighbor, just do it in a friendly and open manner.



Jediyoda
Deinonychus
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Joined: 1 Jul 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 354
Location: Brisbane Queensland

04 Jul 2014, 2:54 am

Hello Kraftiekortie. I found out the other day when I spoke to him that he said he was a vetaran drinker and a smoker and he mentioned something about his step dad why he said that to me I have no idea why, what does Vetaran drinker mean? I am so confused and quiet honestly alittle upset. We are however progressing in communicating to each other alot better than we used too and we are now both standing in front of each other looking into each others eyes while we talk instead of looking at a wall the ground or anything else its a start though. Its the comments that he makes occassionally that gets me I can clearly see his hurting and something very bad has happened to him but he puts that pain and anger on other people and me I understand where his coming from and that he doesnt really mean to say what he says even though I was clearly upset with a couple things he said when I have no idea what I did wrong. I know alot of other people would give up on him and say his not worth it there are plenty of fish in the sea but I can't just leave him I'm going to stick by him and be there for him even if he says those comments occassionally. I just want to let him know he always has a friend here and that his not alone.