Marriage or Single Life: Whatever you Choose

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Berrylicious
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11 Jul 2014, 6:08 pm

Have you thought about getting married? Like most everyone, I read fairy tales that were about getting married and living happily ever after. Now that's just not from the stories you read. It can come from a culture you were raised in where marriage is a priority, especially if your parents told you so because they want to carry the family tradition. It used to be everyone getting married and if you're not, you were doomed.

Nowadays there are people who are not married because things change and it's no longer the case. I don't think I want to get married. I find marriage complicated sometimes. I don't want to marry someone for money or immediately need a man in life. I prefer to be single than be married. At least I don't have to worry.



AraleNorimaki
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11 Jul 2014, 6:42 pm

I think I would like to be married at some point in the distant future. The thing is, I'm jaded since practically everyone in my family is divorced. It almost feels futile to even consider it. Maybe I'm just being too pessimistic.


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Laddo
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11 Jul 2014, 7:23 pm

I want a lifetime relationship, but I'm not sure I want marriage. If things go wrong, divorce is horribly messy and costly, whereas a breakup of a non-marital relationship is simple and mostly cost-free. I just don't like the idea of the law saying I'm in a relationship with someone as opposed to me and the woman saying we're in a relationship. f**k the law


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FireyInspiration
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11 Jul 2014, 11:02 pm

In a fairy tale world where every marriage is successful, I'd pick that in a second.

In real life where divorces, marital problems, legal mumbo jumbo that come with it are real, but so are the health and financial benefits of a healthy marriage are equally real, its a toss up



MjrMajorMajor
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11 Jul 2014, 11:13 pm

I've been married about a decade now, and never regretted it. It's not about settling, but about finding the right partner. Not someone to change or mold, but a true kindred spirit.



tweety_fan
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12 Jul 2014, 1:41 am

Single life and married life each have pros and cons. I feel like I might never get married. I don't view it as a must do for my life.



SoftwareEngineer
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12 Jul 2014, 3:03 pm

I'll never get married. Single is very cool. And, people change. For too many people, marriage = misery.



sly279
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12 Jul 2014, 4:15 pm

do you mean marraige vs couple.

single life is alone, not being with a gf/bf as if you are you can't be single.

I hate being alone its so depressing. as to being just a couple or getting married I lean towards marriage.



goldfish21
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12 Jul 2014, 6:35 pm

Definitely eventually want a long term relationship, possibly marriage. I've thought about what it would be like to marry my crush :oops: but other than that I haven't really thought too much about it. I could see myself getting married, though, either to him or someone equally compatible in the long run. It would be anything but traditional given the fact that I'm gay, but it would still be traditional in the coupled partnered loving relationship sense that marriage symbolizes. I'm not one of those "I must get married," people, though, as the whole concept doesn't really do a thing to make love between two people any more real. I'd still consider marrying the right guy for me, though.


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tarantella64
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12 Jul 2014, 7:31 pm

I think it depends on what you mean by "marriage". For some it's a romantic idea, for others it's a commitment within a religious context, for still others it's a legal arrangement that confers some benefits over just living together. In some places it still confers social status.

I've been both married and long-term partnered (7 yrs), and I could see doing it again someday, if I happened to meet the right guy. It's a nice thing if you've got similar expectations and notions about how life goes, and you really like each other. I doubt I'd consider it before my daughter was grown, first because of the disruption to her life, second because of the disruption to mine, and third because...you know, raising kids is a ton of work, even if the kids are really nice people. It's very hard to focus on each other when you're in the midst of that -- hard enough for parents, and often really a struggle for stepparents.

After that, it depends on the guy, his circumstances. By the time my daughter's in college, I'll be over 50. I've already been a caregiver to a grown man and don't really look forward to doing it again, and the reality is that women generally take better care of themselves and last longer than men. So I don't really want to get into a marriage only to find my finances and my life wrapped up in nursing an old man -- I don't want to be on the hook for his medical care, so if he hasn't got plenty of his own money, I can't see that I'd do anything legal with him. I also don't want to be responsible for making a home for a grown man. Raising an actual child is plenty. So if this is a guy who was taken care of by a mother, and then by a wife, and is now out there floundering on his own and hoping for a third rescue party...no, I don't want to do that. And there are a lot of guys like that.

Essentially, if there was a great guy and we lived well together, and it made legal/financial sense, then sure, why not. If not, that's okay too.



WilFindUndrstndng
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13 Jul 2014, 3:32 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
I think it depends on what you mean by "marriage". For some it's a romantic idea, for others it's a commitment within a religious context, for still others it's a legal arrangement that confers some benefits over just living together. In some places it still confers social status.

I've been both married and long-term partnered (7 yrs), and I could see doing it again someday, if I happened to meet the right guy. It's a nice thing if you've got similar expectations and notions about how life goes, and you really like each other. I doubt I'd consider it before my daughter was grown, first because of the disruption to her life, second because of the disruption to mine, and third because...you know, raising kids is a ton of work, even if the kids are really nice people. It's very hard to focus on each other when you're in the midst of that -- hard enough for parents, and often really a struggle for stepparents.

After that, it depends on the guy, his circumstances. By the time my daughter's in college, I'll be over 50. I've already been a caregiver to a grown man and don't really look forward to doing it again, and the reality is that women generally take better care of themselves and last longer than men. So I don't really want to get into a marriage only to find my finances and my life wrapped up in nursing an old man -- I don't want to be on the hook for his medical care, so if he hasn't got plenty of his own money, I can't see that I'd do anything legal with him. I also don't want to be responsible for making a home for a grown man. Raising an actual child is plenty. So if this is a guy who was taken care of by a mother, and then by a wife, and is now out there floundering on his own and hoping for a third rescue party...no, I don't want to do that. And there are a lot of guys like that.

Essentially, if there was a great guy and we lived well together, and it made legal/financial sense, then sure, why not. If not, that's okay too.


After careful thought, here is my brief reply (to the above post):

I just wrote a long response to this post (the post directly above)...

(By the way, I appreciate her honestly and her contribution to this thread, so..."Thank you," tarentella64", for your effort.)

...HOWEVER, I've decided to "put it down" (for awhile) (it is "touchy" subject-matter) and not to share my thoughts (at least, not yet).

What I'm gonna do, now, instead, is CHALLENGE other MEN (adults, here) just to carefully RE-READ her post/thoughts (above).

(Please, make-sure any replies are respectful.)

Thanks :)



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