Dating outside of your social class

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I was wondering if anyone here had experience dating outside of your social class? Either good or bad experiences?

I had never even considered this as a problem, but I went on a couple dates with a girl that went great! We had so much in common and got along very well. I really liked her. But then she just stopped talking to me.
I was talking to a few people about it because it just didn't make sense... And they brought up social class. I am a very nice and caring person, intelligent and spiritual, BUT I don't come from money and could not afford high ranking universities. She comes from a somewhat wealthy family, has always had what she's needed, but is also very down to earth.

Logically, I can see the differences that could arise in the future. But I also know a few HAPPILY married couples where the husband or wife make SUBSTANTIALLY more than the other.

I ended up writing somewhat of a poem about this:

Please don't judge me by my social class
I never thought I'd have to ask
The human race has come so far
But folks today are still to crass

Don't judge me by the car I drive
It speaks no words to how I thrive
This person that I am inside
Is not defined by material lies

Don't judge me by my line of work
My journey's not the same as yours
I work to live and live to love
I focus on the important parts

I would first need to learn what my social class is. Is a person placed in a social class for the best of their character, or the worst? Looking at the current collection of my cousins among the U.K. royals, I would have to conclude that social class disregards character or the lack of it.

I dunno. I briefly dated a runway model for Donna Karan, Prada and Gucci who routinely worked in Milan, Paris, London and New York. He was half German and half Taiwanese. He didn't want or need to do the more lucrative photographic modeling because that would cut into his time performing his piano or cello with some symphony in Japan, and his father owned a quarter of the IBM facilities in Taiwan, so there wasn't any need for more cash. He was a great guy, but we eventually went our ways. His social class and mine was never mentioned. We didn't care.

Your friends mentioned 'social class', but do they know her and know that was the reason? If not, its just a guess and it might be something completely different. And in general you don't find out specific reasons someone breaks up with you, at least not in polite or friendly breakups.

But personally there is little I hate more then the 'class' concept. I find the idea that someone thinks themselves somehow above or better then another based on birth or wealth or status both insufferably arrogant and an ugly character trait. So if that was truly the reason, at least in my opinion, you are better off.

"...I'll be treated as I deserve. Not as my father deserved. I'm Kilrain, and I damn all gentlemen. There is only one aristocracy, and that is right here. (taps his temple) And that's why we've got to win this war."

Private Buster Kilrain, 'The Killer Angels.'

I do find it rather weird that it would happen in Canada. For the most part we aren't a very class-conscious society. I know that in Britain there are enough cultural differences between working class and middle class (what we would call upper-middle class) people that it might prove an issue. But in Canada that's not really the case. I guess she wanted to be with someone who had a bit of money (which seems rather shallow).

Indeed, it was most definitely an excuse because she was disinterested in you, fashion and glamor models have been known to date men poorer than themselves or men who came from working class backgrounds. There are tons of celebrities that married guys that were poor compared to how much the woman was worth like Madonna, Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Alba but for the ultimate example...Britney Spears married Kevin, Dolly Parton married an Asphalt worker as well.

Supermodel Kelly Brook


Britney Spears


Julia Roberts married a camera man


Tina Fey married a 5'4 composer


There are other countless examples on the internet as well so it is possible that wealthier women end up with men who are not as wealthy or more wealthy.

There could also be large cultural differences between "class" backgrounds that make a meeting of the minds nearly impossible. As one example, I couldn't imagine having live-in staff. I may joke about wanting some from time to time, but in reality, I couldn't handle the loss of privacy it would entail. Wealthy people who are accustomed to having them around think nothing of it and conduct their lives in the presence of staff as if they were alone.

In the olden days, it seems it was fine for a man to marry a woman of lesser means, so long as she was from a "good family." Another standard practice was a poor man from the higher stratum of society marrying a "common" woman with lots of money. The woman's family benefited from elevation of their social status, and the man's family benefited from the infusion of hard, cold cash.

I can't say that it's something that's ever entered my mind.

Class is for the unimaginitive children/ descendants of greater parents/ ancestors.

Holding onto the achievements of people that aren't you is pathetic in my eyes. It's like they cling to it as compensation for not being a very special person at all. I'm crap but my parents were this or that so I'm worth something really. It's all so desperate.

My only real consideration is that it would be nice to meet a clever girl from a working class background to give me things in common. I have always attracted middle class girls but it just doesn't do it for me. My ideal girl would be a working class girl but only for practical reasons rather than meaningless delusional pride reasons.

Over the years, I've found out that dating above one's social class, let alone marrying into it, is ill-advised and, if engaged in, done quietly and with caution.

For one thing, each member of the couple are expected to be evenly matched in critical factors such as education, occupation, and income. Also, there's the factor of whether one comes from "old" or "new" money.

If one is well-educated, one is expected to have an income corresponding with the level one has achieved. In other words, Ph. D. holders are best advised to earn at least around a quarter of a million per year. Then there's the factor of what one's discipline is. Physicians and medical specialists are highly prized, as are lawyers. Engineers are acceptable, provided they are managers, as are university professors are as well, but only if they are high-profile researchers in an exotic field, such as cosmology or genetics.

However, if one has a large net worth, social class and education become irrelevant.

Geez, or just come to America and give all this archaic stratified class system a push off.

It usually doesn't work; in real life.

I come from a fairly modest background and once dated someone from a privileged background. Though we liked each other a good bit and she seemed "down to earth" at first, with time it became clear that our priorities and goals created a gap too large for a bridge. At the time, I was working and going to school full-time (for both), while I soon found out her concerns were tied up in updating her wardrobe weekly and trying a new restaurant a few times a week. I couldn't afford to date her, and she sure as hell didn't give a s**t.

Of course everyone's different, and I'm sure that there are people who are wealthy who don't live to eat $40 plates of food and play dress up, but my overall experience with wealthy people has not been a positive one. A huge pet peeve of mine is when a wealthy person (like my ex) professes to be concerned about environmental, humanitarian, and other 'to-care-for' issues, yet whose lifestyle is in direct contradiction with said concerns. The funniest example is of someone I once knew who volunteered at an NGO that works to alleviate poverty in the DC area. I met her through my ex, after they went to get breakfast at $80 a plate, and she (the volunteer) paid for everyone's food (and no, this wasn't one of those raising 'money for a cause' deals). Something with that picture doesn't seem quite right...(don't get me wrong, I don't care if someone doesn't give a s**t about the world or other people. I just don't like a hypocrite)