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BioBird
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13 Aug 2014, 4:54 pm

So, I'd been mulling over the possibility of getting back on "OkCupid" for the past few months, and finally decided to go ahead and do it (although I was hungry at the time so possibly it was an ill-thought decision). I've been on the site for a collective year, by now, and I've had a few passable dates from it in the past. One date led to a short-lived and tumultuous relation with a fellow AS guy, and it kind of slapped me awake to quite a few things. The main one being: don't try to date an asshat just because most of him seems intelligent and interesting. I occasionally still struggle with "settling for less" with people just because they like me, and I've forced myself to be even more selective with the people I truly "let in" to my life. Also, I have a lot of "self help" and growth to keep on with, and I feel as though I can test my revisions in real-life practice through this site. Let's see how this round goes. Either way, it should prove to be beneficial for me to hone my socializing skills even more. Also, I get to laugh/sob over horrible messages and profiles. It's a favored pastime of mine.

If anyone wants to gawk/take a look or send me a hopefully intelligent or ridiculous message (be forewarned that I rarely reply to first lines of inquiry), my username is: MonocleBird. How fitting.

I'm not looking for critiques or personal opinions, because I've been told by a few of my more "intelligent" dates that my profile was the best they had ever seen on the site. One guy had been on there for 5 years with a lot of success, so I'd like to think that counts for something. Obviously, it's not perfect (and will need edits and revisions over time), but it appears to disinterest and weed out 90-95% of the population so I think it works well enough.



Ectryon
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13 Aug 2014, 5:09 pm

yeh okupid is populated by asshats.They form the dominant demographic. Try going to aspie meets.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Aug 2014, 5:13 pm

Can't search your profile while mine is dis-activated.

and I won't activate it now.



Differentialform
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13 Aug 2014, 5:32 pm

I didn't like okcupid and deleted my profile there. What I heard from some women is that many men there are more interested in physical intimacy than emotional intimacy. Also people tend to misrepresent themselves there.



BioBird
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13 Aug 2014, 5:51 pm

Ectryon: AS meetups do indeed sound interesting, and I'm somewhat planning on going to a large convention in November along those lines. I'm mostly just going there for personal enlightenment, though. Also, I admit I have a small "thing" for Alex Plank who is going to be presenting there, but that's just 5% of my reason for going. Anymore would be bordering on pathetic.

The_Face_of_Boo: I certainly admire your personal restraint ;)

Differentialform: Well, I'm not really looking for super intense emotional intimacy, so I suppose that's in my favor, but my problem is that they're all just... so... BORING. so horribly dull and uninteresting. And most of the interesting ones are either uninterested in my relation styles, or else they're looking for marriage, or else they live in the U.K. or Australia or something, idk. I have literally only seen three people on there (out of thousands of people) that I've truly been interested in, and one of those, as previously mentioned, turned out to be... well, it was an interesting relation. :/

I think I may just have to force myself to go on dates with people I don't like so that I get some socializing practice in. //SIGH



Dantac
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13 Aug 2014, 5:53 pm

I know you didn't want feedback but I think it deserves it :)

Now I know that next time I visit my sibling in MD there is someone there I can meet!



BioBird
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13 Aug 2014, 7:07 pm

Dantac: Oh, so it was you! haha
The feedback was admittedly lovely and quite appreciated. You should consider a secondary career as a critic or professional reviewer of dating profiles! ;)

You seem like a super chill dude, though. I'm 100% sure you'll find a suitably wonderful person for yourself, for your profile was also quite well-constructed and telling of much pertinent and to-the-point detail. If you ever are in MD, I'll try and see if I'll have time for a meet-up! :)



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13 Aug 2014, 7:09 pm

BioBird wrote:
I think I may just have to force myself to go on dates with people I don't like so that I get some socializing practice in. //SIGH


That sounds like an horrible idea. Can't you use meet-ups and your convention for practice?


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BioBird
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13 Aug 2014, 7:45 pm

starkid: Admittedly, it's not the best idea, but perhaps I worded that statement too strongly. I would never go on a date with someone I was truly disinterested in or realized to be incompatible (that's just cruel to everyone involved), but sometimes people go on dates with others they aren't 100% into because they have relatively similar interests and are into them enough to concede for one or two casual dates. I don't necessarily /love/ these types of dates, but they force me into being on my absolute "top game", socially speaking, and are consistent enough to keep me on my feet. Sometimes the dates even turn out to be acceptable or a nice one-off experience.

I have other ways to socialize, as well. I do quite well during the school year, it's just that during vacations (like right now) I'm constantly bored (even with some work and studying) and only occasionally/rarely do relatively social things.

Once I transfer to a good University, I'm defdef joining some clubs. Ohhh it will happen. That should help with quite a few "problems" of mine.



sly279
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14 Aug 2014, 3:39 am

MonocleBird

said no usernames matching. can you give a link instead?



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2014, 7:02 am

Quote:
The_Face_of_Boo: I certainly admire your personal restraint ;)


I didn't really care; please don't cry.



BioBird
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15 Aug 2014, 1:19 am

sly279: That's strange. Hope this helps: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/MonocleBird

The_Face_of_Boo: I'll try to withhold the magnitude of my tears



sly279
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15 Aug 2014, 2:23 am

you're pretty , and have lots of interesting things. its one of the longest profiles i've seen.
you're the type i would rate 4-5 star then hide do to your looks and being a red box.

I imagine the more handsome guys might message you though.



BioBird
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15 Aug 2014, 11:59 am

Quote:
you're pretty , and have lots of interesting things. its one of the longest profiles i've seen.
you're the type i would rate 4-5 star then hide do to your looks and being a red box.

I imagine the more handsome guys might message you though.

Aw wow thank you!! :00
I'm a bit sad that some find my apparent looks to be a deterrent, but I think that I try to make myself pretty approachable to the right sorts of people. Also, as to "more handsome guys", I've never really cared too much about conventional ideals of beauty. I only really care about the substance. It's hard enough for me to find people I'm even vaguely interested in, let alone wanting to date, and so therefore I think my being overly choosey about physical appearances would be to my own disadvantage. Just as long as the people take care of their health and partake in some level of personal grooming, they're probably attractive. Anyways, I'm 95.5% sapiosexual, sooo yeah

Also, I think I saw your prof on there. Very sweet, very honest in many excellent ways, and I'm sure you'll find a great match because of it. :)



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Aug 2014, 12:10 pm

^ Would you like me then? I am an ugly big head in a jar.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Aug 2014, 12:12 pm

sly279 wrote:
you're pretty , and have lots of interesting things. its one of the longest profiles i've seen.
you're the type i would rate 4-5 star then hide do to your looks and being a red box.

I imagine the more handsome guys might message you though.


She said:
Quote:
Also, I think I saw your prof on there. Very sweet, very honest in many excellent ways, and I'm sure you'll find a great match because of it. :)


(whispering: but don't fool yourself, she finds you sweet and honest, but not attractive).