Im not sure I can trust anyone in a relatioship!

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AspieOtaku
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29 Aug 2014, 2:41 am

Im not sure If I can trust anyone in a relationship I want to but I have trouble doing it based on PTSD from an abusive relationship in the past!


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29 Aug 2014, 8:39 am

That is understandable. A wise man once said 'never trust anyone'.
You can pretend to trust, but always leave a sprinkle of suspicion no matter what is said. Prepare for the worst, but expect the best.



aspiemike
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29 Aug 2014, 9:30 am

Trust and Forgiveness.. two different things. I know many people that dont know the difference. Not implying that of you, so don't take it that way. But what I do know is that forgiving someone is hard... Trusting someone is even harder.


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Kurgan
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29 Aug 2014, 9:37 am

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yournamehere
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29 Aug 2014, 9:41 am

All good relationships are based on trust. I learned this from the automotive industry. These people use that word somewhere with their company logo alot, and try to gain peoples trust, so they can stab them in the back, and make lots of money. "The place your neighbors trust". Ultimately making it a useless word designed for manipulation. However, good people know that you can rely on it with other good people. And it is a great thing.


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AspieOtaku
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29 Aug 2014, 12:31 pm

I have had a few chances in getting in relationships but I have ruined them because i have trouble trusting them, I hate myself at times because of it, it really sucks I want to trust again but I am afraid for my life.


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aspiemike
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29 Aug 2014, 12:37 pm

I'll be direct in asking this. Have you ever forgiven someone that has really hurt you in the past? Refer to last message when I say that trusting people is harder than learning to forgive people.


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AspieOtaku
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29 Aug 2014, 12:44 pm

aspiemike wrote:
I'll be direct in asking this. Have you ever forgiven someone that has really hurt you in the past? Refer to last message when I say that trusting people is harder than learning to forgive people.
I have forgiven her but it is not making the flashbacks or fear go away. I am cursed now people keep asking me why I dont have a gf Im a nice guy and not bad looking etc well they havent been in my shoes and when I tell them the real reason why they get sad. So to avoid making them sad I just say im too busy or I have too much stuff going on etc the facade works for a while anyway.


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Beau
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29 Aug 2014, 7:00 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
have forgiven her but it is not making the flashbacks or fear go away. I am cursed now people keep asking me why I dont have a gf Im a nice guy and not bad looking etc well they havent been in my shoes and when I tell them the real reason why they get sad. So to avoid making them sad I just say im too busy or I have too much stuff going on etc the facade works for a while anyway.


Are these people your friends? If so, then I suggest that you open up to them and worry less about making them sad. I mean, when friends ask you how you're doing, they do genuinely care about you. It's not like they're asking for the sake of small-talk. So open up to them and maybe they'll be able to help you move forward.



em_tsuj
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29 Aug 2014, 9:06 pm

I strongly, strongly, strongly suggest that you seek professional help for this. PTSD is not something you can overcome on your own or get rid of, but you can learn to deal with it. I still relapse into old thinking due to abuse but after a few years of therapy focused specifically on the trauma, I am healing form the scars. Before, I would just numb out and never heal. It was a never ending cycle.



Vomelche
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29 Aug 2014, 9:40 pm

try to find someone who will be willing to help you recover



yournamehere
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30 Aug 2014, 5:39 am

I could give you advice like in order to have a good relationship, you must make yourself vulnerable, but I have been single pritty much my whole life. That would be the type of person you would not want to take advice from under these circumstances. I'm sure that goes for alot of unwedded single people giving you advice here.


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Riikka
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30 Aug 2014, 7:54 am

I?m sorry to hear you?ve had such bad experiences in the past. Definitely try getting help to deal with the PTSD. It?s very unlikely to just go away on its own and there are professionals who can help you to learn to cope with it and help you to work on your social relationships and trusting others. It?s better if you start dealing with it before you start getting into new relationships.



AspieOtaku
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01 Sep 2014, 1:05 pm

yournamehere wrote:
I could give you advice like in order to have a good relationship, you must make yourself vulnerable, but I have been single pritty much my whole life. That would be the type of person you would not want to take advice from under these circumstances. I'm sure that goes for alot of unwedded single people giving you advice here.
That is what I am afraid of I did last time and it costed me alot.


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mattschwartz01
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01 Sep 2014, 4:13 pm

Kurgan wrote:
Image


I apologize for having to say this, but this image is just judgmental. We have all been "fake" at one point in time in our lives or another. It is really just a measure of someone's self esteem. We have all also been on the receiving end of it. Graphics like this are hypocritical.



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01 Sep 2014, 4:22 pm

I live by this quote.
"Well, just one more piece, then I'm done. Trust no one, my friend, no one. Not your most grateful freedman. Not your most intimate friend. Not your dearest child. Not the wife of your bosom. Trust no one. "


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