Conversations in Relationships

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jj7642
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10 Sep 2014, 11:03 pm

I've been dating a girl for a few months, and we have clear problems with communication. We often want to (and need to) have a conversation about something... but I'm never really sure when or how to say something.

She frequently tells me how frustrating it is not being able to have a conversation with me without 'prying it out of me'... but to me it never feels like she really tries to do that. I feel like I'm the one initiating and carrying conversations. Am I just missing signals that other people would pick up on? What should I look for?

I'm not sure what do to, do you guys have experience with something like this?

I should also mention that I'm about 99% sure is an undiagnosed aspie...



kraftiekortie
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11 Sep 2014, 7:28 am

What do you folks like to talk about?

As for myself, when the conversation becomes psychological (i.e., when a person tries to get you to speak about your "feelings"), I tend to withdraw. I'd rather talk about other things other than my "feelings." Like baseball, current events. ethics, historical topics, etc. But not my "feelings!" Especially when somebody's trying to use my 'feelings" against me.

I also hate it when somebody wants to find that "one true meaning" of life. I also get irritated when somebody asks me "Why am I here?" Another inquiry which irritates me: "Was I placed here (i.e., on this earth) for a purpose"?

There are so many meanings--and they can change at a moment's notice. My mother bought me into this world, as far as I'm concerned. And not for any "higher purpose." We have to create our own destinies.



CuddleHug
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11 Sep 2014, 11:44 pm

I'd need to know a lot more about your interactions to analyse them. Considering that she's the one to note this problem I'd ask her about it and through the course of the conversation analyse to see if there's validity to her comment. Females are typically more adept at communication than men so if she's right you could probably learn a lot from her. If she's wrong it's still important to figure out what's going on. So how does she 'pry a conversation out of you'?



Cafeaulait
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13 Sep 2014, 2:41 pm

What do people talk about when they are in a relationship together?