Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

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Joined: 12 May 2014
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24 Sep 2014, 9:33 am

This saying rings so true with some people or certain two people in this case. Me and someone ...

Can a guy really not understand a frown to mean that I do not want to go to a party? Instead, I want to go somewhere just the two of us? :oops:

I can't find an appropriate emoticon for it. I just want to say sigh ....

dilanger
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24 Sep 2014, 11:27 am

A guy with AS...you will have to tell him what you want straight out. Give em a hug too...that will drive the point home ^_^

FMX
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24 Sep 2014, 12:56 pm

Maybe he can, maybe not, it depends on the guy and the context. So you have 2 options:

1) Frown. Hope he will understand. Wonder whether he did. Post on WP to ask. Continue wondering because nobody knows for sure.
2) Say (in words) what you mean.

Which of these seems easier? Only you can decide.

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Toy_Soldier
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24 Sep 2014, 1:00 pm

Just for clarification, does anyone have ASD in this situation? Normally it would be the ASD person that does not want to go to a party (too much social stress).

Who_Am_I
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24 Sep 2014, 10:31 pm

A frown could mean anything from "I have indigestion" to "Your shirt sucks" to "I don't want to go to a party, I want to go somewhere just the two of us."

To make someone understand that you don't want to go to a party, but you want to go somewhere with just the two of you, you say,

"I don't want to go to a party. I want to go somewhere, just the two of us."

Keep practising and you'll get better at communication every day!

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elkclan
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25 Sep 2014, 3:13 am

Men are from Mars an Women are from Venus is absolutely BS and generally used as an excuse for poor communication.

Person1: Let's go to this party...
Person2: Frown

Frankly the frown could mean anything. That frown could be from a man or a woman. Neither a man or a woman could understand that a frown means = "I'd rather hang out with just you.." Why would they?

Person1: Let's go to this party...
Person2: I'd rather hang out with just you.
Person1: I really want to go to this party, but maybe we could leave early...

Chelsie
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26 Sep 2014, 11:08 am

FMX wrote:

Yeah, yeah, my fault. Just go ahead and say it - is it me and my communication problems or is it an insensitive issue. I am not looking to fight with anyone here, but whatever happened to reading between the lines :roll:

sly279
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26 Sep 2014, 6:49 pm

aspies have trouble reading between the lines. ie reading non verbal cues.

a frown usually means sad. idk if i'd connect that to wanting or not wanting to do stuff. people have always been verbal when not wanting to do stuff with me.

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26 Sep 2014, 7:06 pm

Chelsie wrote:

FMX wrote:

Does he have autism/AS? Because if that's the case, what you're saying is just like "He's in a wheelchair, but I don't get it; why can't he just man up and go for a walk with me?"

What is so hard about just saying what you want?

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27 Sep 2014, 1:01 am

I suppose im from Mars I arose from the caldera of Olympus Mons! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySFpJ-clnzU[/youtube]

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27 Sep 2014, 2:02 am

elkclan wrote:

Read on the brain differences between men and women; they are greater and more striking than the differences between AS and NT of the same gender.

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27 Sep 2014, 2:06 am

Who_Am_I wrote:

Chelsie wrote:

FMX wrote:

Because this is a typical being from Venus.

Venusians often expect Marsians to be mind readers; it's a common rumor in Venus.

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27 Sep 2014, 5:26 am

Chelsie wrote:

FMX wrote:

If you expect someone to read between the lines and they do not, you're not the victim, and acting like it is a very, very bad idea.

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elkclan
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27 Sep 2014, 5:50 am

Nope. I stand by my statement that the Venusian/Martian thing is BS. It's s**t science. In the case of the original book, it's not even s**t science - it's splurge.

But even if it were TRUE - this exchange isn't an example of that. No one would understand what that frown would mean - other than displeasure at going to the party.

http://www.popsci.com/article/science/s ... ale-brains
http://www.theguardian.com/science/brai ... ifferences

The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Sep 2014, 6:18 am

^ Those deniers' articles aren't countering studies with studies; they are dismissing those studies with the same brain elasticity theory.
It has been proven for example that testosterone produced by male babies in the womb affect their brains.

Show me a study with real data showing that women and men brains are the same instead of a personal claim.

FMX
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27 Sep 2014, 6:36 am

Chelsie wrote:

FMX wrote:

Yeah, yeah, my fault. Just go ahead and say it - is it me and my communication problems or is it an insensitive issue.

Well, I was trying to avoid that and instead present the situation in a way that makes the issue clearer without actually blaming any of the participants, but if you insist: it's you and your communication problems.

Chelsie wrote:

whatever happened to reading between the lines :roll:

Nothing happened to it. It's the same as it always was - a communication method that does sometimes work, but is highly unreliable. (I think you've already noticed that yourself.)

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