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I just found out that two of my friends are going out. One of whom I think I sort of like (in the way that I kind of wish it was me he was going out with, instead of her). I feel angry and upset, because I have always been there for him. He is the one I have posted about before, who gets depression and anxiety, and I am always there for him to talk to, and to help him out when he needs it, yet he has been interested in three other girls (and is now going out with one of them). I feel somewhat betrayed, and I also feel like I must be completely defective or something, to be so unnattractive, not only to him, but to the general male population. I also feel a bit guilty for thinking this way, but I just don't even want to look at him anymore. I have been going through a very stressful time, just due to schoolwork, and now this on top of it is making everything massively worse. I am sick of feeling like the third-wheel as my friends pair up or find boyfriends or girlfriends. And I feel like it's something I will go through my entire life. At this point I just want to hide in my room and never talk to anyone else again.

I'm sorry, I hate getting emotional like this, but I really needed to share that, because I am a total mess right now. This is one of the worst nights he could have picked to share that information with me, as I have to get up for the student sale at around 6 am, then be at the sale from 10-4, and it is already 1:45 in the morning.

Ouch!

All I can say at the moment is I know the feeling and know what your going through.

Hang in there

me too, civet. i go through that feeling at least a few times a year. it gets slightly more bearable, sometimes. like scoots said - hang on in there, girl - we love you!

mx

Thanks, guys.

I'm dreading having to see them together and spend time with them, and hear about their relationship. Since I share an apartment with the guy, it will be a hard thing to avoid, and he already told me she is probably going to be coming over more often.

I got about two hours of sleep. Wish me luck at the sale today..

Meh. I had a similar problem, cept it was teh girl started goin out w ma mate. Not that much of a problem in the end. All you have to do is decide which you want more, Freind or Relationship.

Don't feel guilty, It's not your fault how you're feeling.

I feel like that with people all the time (mostly women), and get jealous when they talk to other people

It's really hard, but the best thing you can do is try and concerntrate on other things (I choose things like improving myself so there is no reason to feel of less value than the others, by doing things such as excersising, sports, or perhaps take up a hobby or something he's interested in?)

I dunno if this helps but it helped me feel a bit better.

Hi Civet,

Did you ever tell the guy you like about how you feel? Maybe he felt the same way about you, but felt like you didn't feel the same way about him. However, if he is aware of your feelings, and doesn't reciporicate, don't sweat it, it probably wasn't meant to be anyways.

Oh man, I can certainly relate to the part about having to see them all the time. My former girlfriend was best friends with my sister before we started going out, and still are to this day. I see her all the time, and it really hurts, but over time I've realized we were not meant to be, and that Im better off without her, she has alot of problems(Borderline Personality Disorder, in which one of the key characteristics is unstable relationships) She put me through hell during the breif time we were together, could you imagine what would happen if we were married?


It seems you're upset about not ever having a date. Have you ever tried online dating sites? They are a great way to meet people. You seem like a fairly attractive girl, surely you'll get some responses if you posted on a site like yahoo personals, or AmericanSingles. I've met quite a few girls online, one I had a breif relationship with. If you need help writing a profile let me know.


Another great way to meet people, if you're more interested in meeting someone in person, is maybe join a club or common interest group. An example of this would be yoga, or a cooking class. You'd be surprised how many men attend these classes. When you have common interest with someone its much easier to get to know them and like them. I hope this helps.

Justin

Oh, Civet!

That has got to hurt.

If he's not dating her excusively, could YOU ask him out?

Good luck with the sale today. I hope it goes well.

BeeBee

I don't even know what to say, other than I know how you feel and I'm sorry. Sometimes these things make affection seem not worth the pain, and I'm not one to judge whether it really is or not. Just try to move on.

One of the reasons why I never said anything to him about my feelings. Because I did not want to jeopardize our friendship.



Thank you for the suggestion, Hale_bopp, it seems like a good one.



I never said anything because I know him fairly well and have been through some of his crushes with him. He always ends up telling the girl he likes them, whether he believes they reciprocate or not, basically just to get it off his chest (though it can take him awhile sometimes). Since he's never made any such gesture toward me, I doubt he has any type of feelings like that for me.



I don't know, and like I said, I do not want to jeopardize the friendship we already have, especially by doing something like trying to take him away from his new girlfriend.

I guess the other problem is that I have a hard time figuring out my feelings and I don't know what I really want. I am not totally sure I want to have a romantic relationship with him, which is another reason why I never said anything. I do not want to initiate something that could hurt our friendship unless it is something I feel very certain about. I am not sure, at this point, if I just want to be with him exclusively, or if I am more upset about being the odd one out again. I am very confused right now. Maybe after some more sleep, I can explain this better.