Sometimes NT stereotypes fit perfectly

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goldfish21
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06 Jan 2015, 1:18 pm

"I would bone Andy (24), but I'd never date him." said NT (27) Kate (names changed) at work - because Andy is under 30yo and therefore "has nothing to offer." (in her words) I asked what she meant for clarification, i.e. if she meant assets/wealth/established career etc - and yep, all of the above.

We've joked that she can have the guys over 30 and she can send the ones under 30 to me. :P She couldn't understand why I'd be interested in dating someone under 30/younger than me (32) & I told her in reference to what she had said "because none of those things are important to me."

Myself, I'd rather have a personality/interest/aesthetic match regardless of financial wealth or career status. Sure, I want to be with someone with goals and ambitions - but those could be fitness ones, creative or scientific/research ones etc vs. career/financial. If I make my own money, great, if not ah well. If I'm with a partner and we make money, great, if not, ah well - I'd rather have love than money, basically. But Kate was abundantly clear that money was a "hygiene factor" (behavioural term) that was required before she'd even consider dating someone. She said she'd date 40+ if she had to in order to be with a guy with all of those things going for him in his life.

Curious how many here are more in line with Kate's thinking and how many are more in line with mine, regardless of any age preference. I'm guessing that the majority on this site are indifferent about financial wealth/assets and career/social status, but I could be surprised by the responses, you never know.


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btbnnyr
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06 Jan 2015, 1:51 pm

I don't care about money, but I do care about career.
I prefer someone who has or is going after intense intellectual career.
I think my personality is more compatible with this kind of person.


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kraftiekortie
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06 Jan 2015, 6:23 pm

I could care less about how much money someone has.

The only thing I don't like, really, is extremely bad skin--and greasy hair. Otherwise, I'm not really choosy as far as physical attributes are concerned. Even if the person happens to have the above, I'd go for her if I felt an emotional connection with her.

That's never entered my mind--this money thing. My objective in life is to be able to move from my home using only my car. I don't like having lots of things. I can't handle it!

I wouldn't care, frankly, if my wife stayed home while I worked. This situation would be better for me. I wouldn't have to help clean up the house any more. She could go shopping with her friends. She could have the life she wants to have (though she does like being a nurse).



downbutnotout
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06 Jan 2015, 7:00 pm

If they intend to build a future for themselves in the first place, I don't see what difference a 20-year-old's career versus a 30-year-old's career makes even if they're behind. Unless you want a big, expensive family immediately, you can just date someone for personality and values and eventually you'll both have built up more material assets to support each other with.



yellowtamarin
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06 Jan 2015, 7:10 pm

Yours, definitely yours.



sly279
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07 Jan 2015, 2:58 am

don't care about money, carreers, objects the own/don't own, cars, own place, looks beyone looking attractive to me and not being super obese.

I care about personality, face attraction(most women) , and them being kind, playful, etc(are these part of personality?)
having overlapping interest is nice.



Echolalia
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07 Jan 2015, 5:39 am

Don't care about money but I do care about the basic level of internal motivation a guy has. Why? Because I want to know he isn't just going to sit around moaning about how crap his life is and do nothing about it. I've had BFs like that in the past and they get boring real quick. I couldn't give a rats if he earns $15k a year making custom skateboards or whatever, as long as that's where he wants to be and it makes him happy.

These days my red flags are fewer and fewer, incessant complaining however is one of them.


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sly279
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07 Jan 2015, 11:53 pm

Echolalia wrote:
Don't care about money but I do care about the basic level of internal motivation a guy has. Why? Because I want to know he isn't just going to sit around moaning about how crap his life is and do nothing about it. I've had BFs like that in the past and they get boring real quick. I couldn't give a rats if he earns $15k a year making custom skateboards or whatever, as long as that's where he wants to be and it makes him happy.

These days my red flags are fewer and fewer, incessant complaining however is one of them.


in so most guys hold all their emotions in to avoid being labeled a complainer. yet women are allowed to vent every day. unfair.



idlewild
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10 Jan 2015, 10:33 pm

I do find older men more attractive, but that could be because I am a bit old-fashioned in my humor and attitudes. Having financially supported my ex-husband, I do find that someone who can support themselves is preferable and knowing how hard I have worked to find a stable, decent-paying job I find myself more reluctant to date men who make less than I do.

Aside from mutual interests, I find the main factor is the effort they put into the relationship, and their needs regarding time together and apart. If a man manages to have the qualities to make me feel at ease in his company, and not as if I must be on my toes, then that trumps everything. I feel at ease with very few people.


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