Why do people suddenly stop talking?

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Einschmidt
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22 Oct 2014, 12:50 pm

On OKcupid I can get about 1 in 20 people to answer my messages but they usually only respond for a few messages then fall stone silent with no explanation. I am pretty sure it is NOT because I offended them some how since I usually say someting innocuous and then they stop talking.


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calstar2
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22 Oct 2014, 12:57 pm

Short answer: Not interested



Yuzu
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22 Oct 2014, 1:06 pm

Most likely they started talking to someone more interesting.
What kind of messages do you send? Do you talk about something in their profile?



Einschmidt
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22 Oct 2014, 1:08 pm

yes or for one example I said hi to soemone they said hi back, I think noticed profile said she likes to travel so I said where has she traveled to. She never responded. Send another message and she never repsonded to that one either


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League_Girl
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22 Oct 2014, 1:44 pm

I don't know why people would stop talking, if they haven't responded to both messages you sent, I would stop talking to them. You don't want to be reported for harassment. The least they can do is block you than taking the extreme route.

What kind of profile do you have and what do you have in it or have about yourself? Sometimes things in it could make someone not want to communicate with you.


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Einschmidt
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22 Oct 2014, 1:54 pm

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Malachi ... cf=profile


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rdos
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22 Oct 2014, 2:07 pm

Einschmidt wrote:
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Malachite_Tapir?cf=profile


What you are looking for (long-term and short-term dating) seems weird. I would have claimed that I looked for a relationship, not an indefinite dating process.

Other than that, you interests looks really nerdy, but that could work both ways.



Yuzu
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22 Oct 2014, 2:35 pm

Your profile is good overall but a little too serious. Maybe you can put some fun silly things you are good at under "I'm really good at". Like "rescuing a kitten stuck in a tree" or something since you're so tall. (Maybe that one is a little cheesy)
Or for your "Six things I could never do without" think of something more personal and fun rather than the generic stuff you've listed to show your personality.

I suggest changing your profile photo to the third one in front of a tree with a blue shirt. You have a nice natural smile and you seem relaxed in that one. And don't zoom in on your face when you set it for a thumbnail. Also, try to include at least one body shot preferably doing something outdoor. Don't need so many head shots.

(Good taste in music! :thumright: )


I'm surprised anyone reply to a message saying just "hi". That's considered a big no no. Try to come up with a message asking about their interests in 2 or 3 sentences. And don't compliment on their looks.



yellowtamarin
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22 Oct 2014, 7:02 pm

Yuzu wrote:
I'm surprised anyone reply to a message saying just "hi". That's considered a big no no. Try to come up with a message asking about their interests in 2 or 3 sentences. And don't compliment on their looks.

Exactly. If I reply to just "hi" (I many have once or twice in my online dating life) it's because I'm particularly bored and decide to give them a chance and see if their next message is more interesting. Alternatively I may reply with just "hi" in an attempt to show them that what they have said is hard to work with, and I have no intention of replying to the next one (I think I've done this once and felt bad). The messaging part of OkC is for "email-type" messages, not chat. There is an IM function for that. Which one are you using? If you are using the messaging part, you need to pad out your message more as described above.



Einschmidt
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22 Oct 2014, 9:33 pm

Also a lot of time when reading there profile it seems like we would make a good couple so why do they not even talk to me?


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yellowtamarin
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22 Oct 2014, 10:11 pm

Einschmidt wrote:
Also a lot of time when reading there profile it seems like we would make a good couple so why do they not even talk to me?

They may not be seeing the same thing when reading your profile. They've given you information that sounds good to you, but the information you have given them might not have the same effect.

Plus what has been said above about the way you talk to them. I've had plenty of message where someone has just said "hey", or something that looks like a copy & paste, and I won't even click on their profile. I'll barely even look at the thumbnail that comes along with the message. I just see "I'm not trying but I want you to reply to me anyway" and I click DELETE.



Einschmidt
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23 Oct 2014, 3:01 pm

Why do some people not respond even if we are like 99.9999999999999999999 percent match?


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Yuzu
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23 Oct 2014, 4:15 pm

Einschmidt wrote:
Why do some people not respond even if we are like 99.9999999999999999999 percent match?


Because they don't find you physically attractive.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Oct 2014, 5:52 pm

All respondents who replied here so far know the real reason but they are too embarassed to tell you.



Einschmidt
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23 Oct 2014, 6:33 pm

Can someone post an example of a successful (i.e the person responded to it) message?


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