Aspie girl likes aspie guy - what to do next?

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Aspergirl14
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18 Jul 2014, 5:43 pm

So there's this aspie guy who I've been getting to know through the local work programme. I would see him weekly at the afternoon job search sessions and we would always chat and joke together. I couldn't really tell if he liked me back and I admit I were to shy/nervous to bring it up :oops:

Problem is when we were at job search session earlier this week, the staff said to him that this was the last time he were required to attend (as the work programme has a time period of up to 6 months per client/jobseeker) and that means he won't be back, and this were usually the only times I got to see him.

After the job search session had ended I walked around town with him a little, just chatting, (which we often would do each week) before going home or whatever. I know I should have asked him if he wanted to swap numbers before saying goodbye, but its like my brain is either on autopilot and I end up forgetting or is a bit slow to react quickly enough to social cues on time. So instead our goodbye went something like this: he said he were going to meet his mate at station, and I walked him along to traffic lights and I said "well I gotta go this way" (to go to bank) and he said "well ok I guess I'll see you around" and I just said the same back "see you around" and that was it.

I should also mention that when I was with him that day that he was teasing a little (as in he were making fun of me but in a friendly way, I could tell cause he said it in a silly voice), this makes me think that he might have been flirting with me/that he likes me?

So my question is what should I do now? As far as I can tell I have two options. Firstly he told me once that he's on Facebook, though I don't know if he goes on it often, as he doesn't have internet access at home, only when at his mates house.
Secondly I know he has a mate who works at one of the local supermarkets, and since I almost always see this guy there (as my routine means I mostly go do my weekly shop there on same day and time) and he's usually on at self service checkouts, I was thinking about trying to casually say hi and mentioning that I know his mate (aspie guy) to this guy (mate who works at supermarket) and depending on how that went I could maybe get some useful info from him (such as if has mate has mentioned me) and hopefully take it from there.

What do you guys think? Was his teasing a way of flirting with me? Is approaching his mate a good idea or should I try Facebook? If I were to try the mate approach then what could I say/ask without seeming too obvious, whats the best approach?

P.S. I should also note that while this guy knows he has autism, from talking to him I've gathered that he doesn't seem to really know what it is or how it affects him.

Thanks all in advance for taking the time to read, sorry if my post is a bit long (I just don't want to miss my chance lol), and any advice will be greatly appreciated :)



kraftiekortie
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18 Jul 2014, 5:50 pm

LOL.....you should have gotten the guy's number or email address (preferably email address). However, despite protestations to the contrary, it's still infrequent for women to ask for guys' numbers. I could understand your reluctance. It's usually the guy's call, even in the 2010's.

I would try to contact him on Facebook. Send him a "friend" message."

Or maybe leave your email address with the guy's mate at the supermarket.

Or maybe, if you know where the guy goes (like a pub or something), try to "run into him," but don't be obvious about it.

Don't ask for his phone number until you've spoken to him in person again.



Vomelche
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18 Jul 2014, 6:25 pm

I think you are on the right track. Find him on facebook if you know his name. Then go from there, maybe you could invite him to a party or some place you are going to.

I would say, talk to his mate only if you can't find him on facebook, and even then just casually ask him how you could reach the guy.



cathylynn
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18 Jul 2014, 6:35 pm

i agree that getting in touch on facebook is the best way to go.



StrangeG
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18 Jul 2014, 9:13 pm

He likes you. Relax, don't over think it. Talk to his friend or facebook or whatever.

The friendly teasing, walking around town together, and chatting at the job search thing all say you are close enough that there is nothing weird about exchanging contact information.

I would bet actual money that if you ask him if he'd like to grab a coffee and chat he will say yes.



Aspergirl14
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19 Jul 2014, 10:55 am

Thanks all for your replies.

I'll try messaging him on Facebook first then



Aspergirl14
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31 Jul 2014, 3:58 pm

Update: So I've messaged the guy on Facebook the other day and this is how it went:

Me: Hi, I missed seeing u at remploy last Thursday and I was wondering if u might like to meet up, maybe go for a coffee or something? xx

Him: would be cool when i have money lol

Me: Maybe meet up sometime next week? xx

(These were the messages sent over 3 days). Thing is he still hasn't replied to last message yet, (though I know he's been on facebook since then, as he has posted stuff on his page), am confused, what should I do? Please help



TigerEyes91
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31 Jul 2014, 6:35 pm

Alright hon, if he still hasn't replied, forget about him. You seem like a cool girl and tbh I would give you a chance, if he doesn't that is his problem, but I hope he came to his senses and decided to take you out for coffee :)



TigerEyes91
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31 Jul 2014, 6:36 pm

Alright hon, if he still hasn't replied, forget about him. You seem like a cool girl and tbh I would give you a chance, if he doesn't that is his problem, but I hope he came to his senses and decided to take you out for coffee :)



michael517
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01 Aug 2014, 8:51 am

No idea, but what a sad story. :(

I agree with kraftiekorkie, he should have asked you. Like the mice in the movie "Babe", "It's the way things are."

Great movie to watch with your kids, if you should ever get to that point. Love the part where the pig gets its back foot caught in the string, it just kills me.

Good luck!



llee
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04 Nov 2014, 2:40 pm

Coffee doesn't have to cost much so I don't get why he's brushed that aside. It could even have been a walk-n-talk which costs nothing.

I wouldn't think about him too much more until he actually says something back to you now and definitely don't ask the supermarket friend anything, it'll just look stalker-ish now.

I'd love it if someone did this to me, but I don't think he's interested.

(Edit: Sorry, I didn't notice this post was so old) :D Any update?



Aspergirl14
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04 Nov 2014, 5:29 pm

llee wrote:
(Edit: Sorry, I didn't notice this post was so old) :D Any update?


Update: No, nothing more happened with him, think he was just too shy really. Oh well, win some lose some :lol: