The missing piece

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I look at people who are happily married, and what I see (and hear from them) is:

Find someone who compliments you.
Find someone who likes you because of your quirks, not in spite of them.
Have a solid base of being friends first.

But the thing is, I found someone like this. Someone who IS a reasonable match (we have a lot in common, our personalities balance each other, etc) and she openly admitted she finds me fascinating because of my quirks. And we've been good friends for nine months. Yet when I told her how I felt, she said she'd never had feelings from me.

I'm kind of confused. I mean, I appreciate that people are people, and not bunches of statistics, but if we're all supposed to be searching for a person who compliments us, then why doesn't she like me? Logically, it doesn't make sense. I searched the web and it turned up a bunch of other confused people who'd found their perfect match but they themselves didn't have any feelings for their dream person, so it's not just a case of my not being objective; this sort of thing happens to others as well.

What's the missing piece that nobody seems to be talking about?

It's sad isn't it? I call it corruption, in a perfect world compatible personalities would be all that's required for a good relationship, but women demand protection and so a male needs to exude a lot of confidence and authority. In a perfect world your harmless quirks would be all that's needed for love, but we don't live in such a world.

Weight lift, practice your confidence, show authority, keep in shape, have passionate opinions, be a leader -- these are all the things that women want in order to feel protected, but it's a lot of damn work. Or you could be like us other guys that are chasing for that woman who would accepts you for you, she's like the mythical unicorn though, she exists but is so damn rare.

I honestly believe a big reason for her rarity is that she finds love early, and the rest is history, she's probably near impossible to find above 30 and beyond.

Perhaps because she does not find you attractive? I wouldn't date a severely overweight, pimply, smelly, ugly guy just because our personalities and quirks match on paper. There is something called chemistry.

It can be subtle. I have an acquaintance who from the outside seems to be my perfect match. People tell us they don't know why we are not together. He is very interesting and we have a lot in common, but I don't like his personality and find him a bit cold and judgmental. There is no way i would want to be stuck with him every day. Once in a while is fine, but we would not work in a relationship.

Oh well, I don't even attract guys (even though peopl tell me I am gorgeous). I am pretty envious of you.

It's other people that say we should be together. He's never actually told me that he likes me. I suppose that's part of why I'm not interested in him. It's hearsay that he likes me, but I've never seen any evidence other than he just likes talking about mutual interests with me. It's not like he's ever invited me out anywhere or anything like that.

Physical attraction.