A question about guys/gals texting...

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I was talking to a dear friend of mine who is NT and is really interested in a man who is most likely high functioning AS. She has made statements that she has been interested in him for quite a while now. She managed to introduce herself and she offered her phone number to him which he immediately entered in his phone. Without even asking, he volunteers his number back to her while they are standing there. She tells me that she didn't even ask for it. She waited a few weeks and decided to text him to which he answers back, but not every time. I make the comment that he probably didn't want to stand there and text back and forth constantly, yet she assures me that only a few texts were exchanged at a time. It's been a while and she has since told me that she no longer gets any replies to her texts when she does text. Again, I ask her if she is bombarding him with texts and she assures me that she isn't and she is trying to be courteous about that. She says that she only texts once in a while (a few times a month) just to "stay in touch, but no reply. I asked her why is she making herself miserable doing this. She replied that she really feels differently about this person and she wants to give him a chance especially if he is scared to interact socially. She said he socialized fine when talking about something he is really talented in, but the moment it turns into a social situation then he starts to struggle and even stutters at times. I told her that this might be very challenging for him and maybe the idea of a "date" scares him especially if he acts the way she described in a social situation. It even sounds like he has never been on a date at all and I remind her that it may be something that he has to become comfortable with. I advise her to leave him be, but she said that is where she is scared to do that. She explains that if she no longer texts him a few times a month, then he might assume she is no longer interested or willing to give him a chance. This is a tough situation in that I would love to see the both of them really enjoy each other on a date. He seems nice when I've visited her at work, but he is clearly shy when I attempt to talk to him. I am scared that she is going to get her heart broke waiting, yet what if I tell her to give up and it turns out he was interested in her. She asked me for advice and I do not know what to tell her. I think if he doesn't respond at all then he is not interested, but I hate to think I'm telling her the wrong advice. My question is, if a man who is possibly AS voluntarily gives a number to a girl why would he not respond? Do you think it's possibly a social fear of not knowing what to say? No interested (this is what I think and want to say to her), or is there something that maybe I am not considering. I do know she says she feels like he is "the one" for her. I don't believe in the phenomenon of "love at first sight", but everyone is different with different beliefs. I just want to see my friend be happy and not hurt. I respect the guy she is interested in and really he hasn't done anything to hurt her, but if he's not interested he's not interested and there is nothing else to do or say. Thanks for your insight.

If she can't do better than that to bring him out of his "shell," make him feel happy and safe and comfortable with/around her, then she's probably not the woman for him.

I'm agreeing with your post. It's hard to tell her that, but it's probably time to leave the guy be. If he's the one for her then it need to happen on his own terms if it will ever happen at all. As you say, she may not be the one for him.

wish I had a girl interested enough in me like this.

Maybe he just find texting annoying. Why doesn't she try a normal phonecall or a meeting?

That was the very question I asked her. Why not just call? Her answer was that he answered, started to say something then hung up quickly. I could see where he was very anxious to think of what to say, but then again, he is getting stressed it obviously sounds like. I still think if she leaves him be for awhile, then he may start to feel that he can approach her...maybe. I told her to honestly do not expect anything big to happen . If it's going to happen, then it will happen in the time that is right for the situation, not for her time alone.

same here.