Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

She her for the first time in a year!

Page 1 of 2 [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,529
Location: Near London United Kingdom

18 Nov 2014, 1:23 pm

A year ago this girl who is in my social crown fancied me a lot and was obssed with me but I have not seen her since January 2014. More to the point in my hometown 6 weeks ago i saw her for the first time in a year and I walked past her. I was suprised she walked past me not acknowledging me like I did not even exist like she was totally uninterested. I thought she would go mental upon seeing me.

According to people i know she has grown up and matured a lot since I last saw her and has got cut ties with some of her old friends.

Why do you think she now has no interest in me :(



AspieUtah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Brigham City, Utah

18 Nov 2014, 1:30 pm

I believe that I am usually very good about noticing my surroundings. But, there are times when someone who knows me suddenly appears or tries to get my attention, but doesn't, and tells me days later that I didn't notice them.

So, I wonder if your friend was simply enthralled with other thoughts, and missed seeing you.


_________________
Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,529
Location: Near London United Kingdom

18 Nov 2014, 1:41 pm

No I have seen her other times in town in the last few weeks and she is distant and aloof from me. I don't think she cares about me :(



trollcatman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,919

18 Nov 2014, 1:45 pm

Maybe she thinks the same about you. She didn't talk to you, but did you try to talk to her? Maybe she thinks you are ignoring her as well.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,529
Location: Near London United Kingdom

18 Nov 2014, 1:56 pm

Well I will be honest..... I did smile at her from across the road last week and she did look at me and say "hi". I told my mum about her acknowledging me and she said "well that is just her being 'civil' "

Being civil = not being fond of someone but at the same just being polite not to cause friction.



Nambo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,882
Location: Prussia

18 Nov 2014, 2:27 pm

I seem to remember finding Women to be fast.
That being they fancy you like mad but if you don't react to their come-on instantly, they will just give up on you right away and try their charms on somebody else.

Women just want a boyfriend, they don't care much who it is, we are just commodities to them, that's why you will never find a single young Woman, even if they break up with their partner, they will have a new one by that afternoon, no waiting around for them to meet their Soul-Mate.

Maybe NT men are the same?, I never tried dating them, I just know from an Aspie perspective by the time its dawned on you a Woman might be interested, its already too late.

Expecting a girl to wait a year the stuff of fantasy.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

18 Nov 2014, 2:39 pm

Nambo wrote:
Expecting a girl to wait a year the stuff of fantasy.


I think it isn't. It happens. :wink:



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,529
Location: Near London United Kingdom

18 Nov 2014, 3:14 pm

What did my mum mean thst was just her being civil?



AspieUtah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Brigham City, Utah

18 Nov 2014, 3:18 pm

Jamesy wrote:
What did my mum mean thst was just her being civil?

Sometimes, people consider the option of being nice for its own sake is preferable to saying or doing anything which might make another person angry or sad. Most of the time, they really are just avoiding conflicts which might involve themselves.


_________________
Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,529
Location: Near London United Kingdom

18 Nov 2014, 3:25 pm

My brother said if she liked me before she will like you again.

Do u think that's true?



smudge
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,716
Location: Moved on

18 Nov 2014, 3:27 pm

Nambo wrote:
I seem to remember finding Women to be fast.
That being they fancy you like mad but if you don't react to their come-on instantly, they will just give up on you right away and try their charms on somebody else.

Women just want a boyfriend, they don't care much who it is, we are just commodities to them, that's why you will never find a single young Woman, even if they break up with their partner, they will have a new one by that afternoon, no waiting around for them to meet their Soul-Mate.

Maybe NT men are the same?, I never tried dating them, I just know from an Aspie perspective by the time its dawned on you a Woman might be interested, its already too late.

Expecting a girl to wait a year the stuff of fantasy.


:lol: I think you speak a lot of truth there. Though, I don't believe in soulmates and, I absolutely need a guy with his own opinion, i.e. my ideal is quite different, which is rare. *

You really prefer a girl who waits for a year? Seriously?

* As in a guy who doesn't change his opinion for the woman he likes, nor copies her opinions. Nor copies the opinions of anyone else close to him just because they're close.


_________________
I've left WP.


Last edited by smudge on 19 Nov 2014, 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

AspieUtah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Brigham City, Utah

18 Nov 2014, 3:37 pm

Jamesy wrote:
My brother said if she liked me before she will like you again.

Do u think that's true?

Sure! But, my experience with renewing friendships is that they almost always start over from square one. They advance more quickly than the first time around, but they don't start out where they left off.


_________________
Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


DoubleCatrin
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 255
Location: Denmark

18 Nov 2014, 4:20 pm

Jamesy wrote:
A year ago this girl who is in my social crown fancied me a lot and was obssed with me but I have not seen her since January 2014. More to the point in my hometown 6 weeks ago i saw her for the first time in a year and I walked past her. I was suprised she walked past me not acknowledging me like I did not even exist like she was totally uninterested. I thought she would go mental upon seeing me.

According to people i know she has grown up and matured a lot since I last saw her and has got cut ties with some of her old friends.

Why do you think she now has no interest in me :(


maybe she decided that her obsession for you was not healthy and did her best to move on?


_________________
my drawings: http://doublecatrin.deviantart.com/gallery/

imaginary? bartender at
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=262032&start=285


Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,539
Location: Europe

18 Nov 2014, 4:25 pm

trollcatman wrote:
Maybe she thinks the same about you. She didn't talk to you, but did you try to talk to her? Maybe she thinks you are ignoring her as well.


This could definitely be the case.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,529
Location: Near London United Kingdom

18 Nov 2014, 4:27 pm

I am just very shy



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Nov 2014, 6:37 pm

What's a "social crown?" Do you mean "social crowd?"

Yes, JamesY, Café au lait is right.....this could very possibly be the case.

No matter what anybody says, and no matter the amount of influence "gender politics" has had on the world:

Most frequently, the woman expects the man to make the "first move."